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to think its irresponsible for my OH to leave our 2 yr old downstairs on his own?

(692 Posts)
YummyMummy1208 Thu 05-Aug-10 09:47:10


I'm so angry with him rite now and generally since our little boy was born cos he just has no clue how to watch him properly but if i ever have a go at him its 'oh shes off again...' and switches off.

Is this just a general 'men' thing??

Thismorning is a prime example, hes been taking over morning duties of late due to me being 7 month pregnant so thismorning he takes DS1 downstairs and then i can hear him saying 'So r u gonna stay downstairs and be a good boy while Daddy has a shower?' now forgive me if im being unreasonable but surely im not the only one here thinking you dont leave a 2.5 yr old downstairs - on his own - while u go upstairs to have a shower??

Whats everyones opinion on this one - Am i being unreasonable to have a go at OH??

paisleyleaf Fri 06-Aug-10 20:07:40

I vote "I AM CANADIAN" for quote of the week
How funny. I did wince when I read "have you ever been to Canada SGM"?

ChippingIn Fri 06-Aug-10 20:11:01

So you have savings - but wont spend £50 to make your house safe for your son??

MiladyDeSummer Fri 06-Aug-10 20:15:04

Mate if you have a stair-gate on your son's door could he not play in there while people shower?

Or do you have a collection of Fabergé eggs and fine imperial porcelain in his room?

Ilythia Fri 06-Aug-10 20:23:36

This thread is so weird.

2anddone Fri 06-Aug-10 20:26:28

I haven't read all the thread I don't have the time so don't know if this has already been asked but how the hell do you think single parents get washed and dressed in the morning? They certainly don't do it with an audience every day. Fit the safety features you need and leave them to it. My dc (1 and 4) get left downstairs while I sort myself out in the mornings I lock the front and back door put the keys out of reach, have a stair gate into the kitchen which I close and one on the bottom of the stairs this leaves nothing that they can harm themselves on. I then shower in peace all be it with the door open incase they shout me for what I have taught them is only essential things (ie someone bleeding not running out of drink!) Get a grip we can't watch our kids 24/7

ljgibbs Fri 06-Aug-10 20:28:41

grin I thought this thread couldn't get any better but...

YM1208 Have you ever been to Canada


ljgibbs Fri 06-Aug-10 20:29:29

Damn caps lock grin grin

zapostrophe Fri 06-Aug-10 20:35:35

Message withdrawn

Morloth Fri 06-Aug-10 20:58:37

I keep reading "eh?" at the end of all sentences now and all the talk of Vancouver/Canada has made me read stairgates as stargates.

Wish I had a stargate at the top and bottom of my stairs, would make it easier to get the washing back up.

knickers0nmyhead Fri 06-Aug-10 21:05:01

You want people to read the thread properly yet you obviously dont or you would of seen sgb put she is canadian you bloody numpty.

maryz Fri 06-Aug-10 21:21:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LimaCharlie Fri 06-Aug-10 21:25:53

roar at this thread

OP I do think you have been given a rough ride but thats mainly down to the fact that you don't seem to be listening to what people have actually said. But then again you're heavily pregnant and have a toddler so you've every reason to feel a bit crazy hormonal.

mariepuree Fri 06-Aug-10 21:41:42

Hee-hee. OP post is so pathetic. My goodness, you wonder how the human race made it this far.

I use to leave my 2yo DTS downstairs whilst I had a shower. They survived.

Keep bullying and nagging and undermining your OH like that and you will find yourself having to watch your 2yo on your own permanently.

mumbar Fri 06-Aug-10 21:42:21

Ok read first 3 pages but heres my thoughts (sorry if anys been said already)

1) why did you not get up then if it was such a problem?? (or are you having a problem pregnancy?)

2) Why have another child with a man you deem so incapable of child raring?

3) How the bloody hell do you think parents like me who have been on our own (in my case since ds was 13 months) coped with our every day lives? And I lived on a 5th floor apartment!!!

YABVU IMO with your attitude to OH.

Imisssleeping Fri 06-Aug-10 22:21:25

This thread just gets better and better
sgm you're canadian, yes but have you ever been to Canada !!! grin

ravenAK Fri 06-Aug-10 22:33:05

Aaaargh. Having seen a good mate utterly crushed because he'd convinced himself he was off to Canada - only to discover it was not so - my toes are curling a wee bit in potential sympathy...suspect OP may have been had sad

Anyway, OP, just move the bleach & the sharp knives, sort out the door handle so ds can't escape, & then next time, enjoy your lie in!

Dh is far more 'laxi-daisy' than me - he honestly believes that if he says 'This way, dd2!', then he can stride off without checking that she's following (she's 2) - but he's never actually mislaid her yet.

Equally, your problem here with safety isn't really your DP. Your ds should by now have the run of the house, which should not be a bleach & blade riddled death trap, & you should feel able to trust your DP. Atm, the house simply isn't safe - & that could just as easily be a disaster waiting to happen if you fell down the stairs, say, whilst looking after ds, as if DP's in the shower for 10 minutes.

juicychops Fri 06-Aug-10 22:37:15

not read all the messages but i do think you are lucky that your man is taking over morning duties for you - not many men would do that!

i do think you are perhaps being a bit unreasonable as he's obvioiusly doing what he thinks is best and you need to trust him to use good judgement.

i used to always leave ds alone while i went upstairs, tidied up, had a bath etc. I obviously made sure the house was safe and there was nowhere for ds to wander off or hurt himself on anything as im sure your dp did.

Doodleydoo Fri 06-Aug-10 22:37:48


OP you are quite irritating, you haven't read everyone's posts properly and yabu to not have baby proofed your house if you are worried about leaving you ds on his own downstairs. Also if your OH was in the shower and you had your bedroom door open what was to stop you getting to your son if you oh couldn't make it? I am 10 days away from due date and frankly can get up and get to my 2.5 yr old in an emergency!

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 06-Aug-10 22:53:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cordelia28 Fri 06-Aug-10 23:05:39

I've just spent all evening reading this thread!

I AM CANADIAN hilarious!!!!

Op at 2.5 yabu

hellymelly Fri 06-Aug-10 23:21:29

I would never leave a child that young alone while I had a shower.I would be too worried about not hearing something happening.If I had to shower I would take the child to the bathroom with me.I would go to another room to do a short task like loading the washing machine,or fetching something,but otherwise I would want the child within earshot or sight.A toddler could choke on a button or something,or maybe get out of the door etc.
I would be very angry with DH if he did this so no YANBU.(although I have knackered my already dodgy back by lugging dd2 about im my 4 storey house)

TheButterflyEffect Fri 06-Aug-10 23:26:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy Fri 06-Aug-10 23:29:21

i shower upstairs dc potter about downstairs,its are being seriously clenchie

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 06-Aug-10 23:37:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 06-Aug-10 23:41:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ragged Fri 06-Aug-10 23:53:10

In fairness to YM....

I have a Canadian friend (born and raised to adulthood), who also was British (her dad was born and raised) and friend had Australian citizenship, in spite of neither friend nor her dad never having visited Australia, nor was the dad an Australian citizen -- but his mother was. Friend qualified thru that relationship. So I imagine SGM could have been Canadian but not actually ever visited there.

Now my mate has lived and worked in Canada, Britain, Brazil, Australia -- currently working in California.

She especially praised the Australian work ethic. Said that they have work hard but they knock off at 5 o'clock sharp to go play hard too. Whereas her London co-workers stayed at their desks late into the night for the sake of appearances, but weren't actually getting anything done.

ChippingIn Sat 07-Aug-10 00:14:49

helly - if your 2 year old is going to choke on a button s/he can do it while you are loading the washing machine - you wont hear it

SGM - I missed it before - I love your youtube link

TheButterflyEffect Sat 07-Aug-10 08:27:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 07-Aug-10 09:15:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitterstar88 Sat 07-Aug-10 09:24:17

I leave both my sons downstairs whilst i have a shower. I am a single mum so i can't exactly get anyone else to look after them and if they come into the bathroom they start pulling the shower curtain about so water goes everywhere and they knock all the shampoo bottles etc over and chuck them about.

DS1 is 4.5
DS2 is 19months

They can both get up and down the stairs fine by themselves and theres no real danger downstairs apart from the kitchen so i tend to shut the kitchen door.

dilemma456 Sat 07-Aug-10 09:25:32

Message withdrawn

Oblomov Sat 07-Aug-10 09:38:05

At what age do you STOP using stairgates ?
I only ask becasue i have never had them on our stairs. Both ds's have gone up and down at a very early age.
But when should you be able to get away with not needing stairgates anymore ?
If Op moved the bleach and knives. saying thta i have never moved the bleach or knives and ds's have never touched them. But if Op did the basic child proofing, she may not need gates at all, right ?

piscesmoon Sat 07-Aug-10 10:37:58

I have just caught up with this thread which seems the weirdest ever!

ifancyashandy Sat 07-Aug-10 12:11:16

Oh, I don't want this thread to ever end!


Canadian ducks - wonderful!

MiladyDeSummer Sat 07-Aug-10 12:20:23

Ob I still use them at the top for my three year old blush but he does tend to belt up and down the small landing so I just close them to keep him from plunging down the stairs.

And at the bottom across the living room door so I can answer the front door, get the milk in and put the rubbish out knowing he can't race out into the road. They are fabulous inventions grin

Lulumaam Sat 07-Aug-10 12:25:53

I want to be Canadian now, just so I can stand next to SGM and scream ' I AM A CANADIAN' a la I am Spartacus.and then laugh until i cry.

it is really boggling how self obsessed the OP is.

one of DH's cousins emigrated to Canada, so I must know more than the OP, just cos me cuz lives there, innit,so I don't need to listen to an actual real life canadian who might now more than me.

MmeLindt Sat 07-Aug-10 13:03:23

Yes, Lulu. I have visions of us all standing, hands on heart, proclaiming "I am MN. I AM CANADIAN"

I shall take a Canadian flag to the MN meetup next week.

Lulumaam Sat 07-Aug-10 13:40:30

envy at meetup

weegiemum Sat 07-Aug-10 13:41:51


(I'm not, but have been there on holiday three times, to Vancouver as well, thus I am more Canadian than OP!)

mumbar Sat 07-Aug-10 20:32:54




(sorry for the rant in capitals just thought it may get noticed)

MiladyDeSummer Sat 07-Aug-10 20:38:24

Thank you mumbar and bloody good for you smile

I AM hear me rooooaaaarrrrrrrr CANADIAN too!


(Well my best friend emigrated to Canada when I was five and I have seen pictures of it, so there)

GenevieveHawkings Sat 07-Aug-10 21:07:29


StewieGriffinsMom Sat 07-Aug-10 21:10:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShellingPeas Sat 07-Aug-10 21:14:37

I spent five weeks in Canada in 1990 so can I be Canadian too?

mumbar Sat 07-Aug-10 22:08:02

I'm not Canadian I was having a rant (still at page 15!) about ops disrespect for those of us who are dyslexic and need proper puntuacted sentences to dipcipher what the questions are.

FWIW SGM - You have made me howl with laughter the last few pages and I'm actually glad I wasted an hour of my life I'll never get back continuing to read grin

As for op I do think that people hve been quite blunt with you but TBH you have not helped yourself at all and hormonal or not shouting at people will not help your cause.

Best of luck with your move to Canada.

leftblank Thu 02-Jun-11 10:39:22

Just read this. Bonkers. Is the Op settled in Canada now?

MmeLindor. Sat 02-Jul-11 06:51:01


Happy Canada Day folks

(you have to read the thread to see why I bumped it - or at least the last bit)

giraffesCantZumba Sat 02-Jul-11 07:54:33

Oh god that is a great thread - wish op would come back and update a year on.

MmeLindor. Wed 28-Dec-11 16:22:23


Cause it is SGM's birthday and her cat ate the cake.

JulesJules Wed 28-Dec-11 16:53:08


Happy Birthday to our Canadian xx

changingnicknameforxmas Wed 28-Dec-11 17:24:50

I'd forgotten this was SGM's "I AM CANADIAN" Thread.

Brilliant - thank you MmeL for bumping. And yes, it should be in classics.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Wed 28-Dec-11 17:43:26

I'd forgotten this, I read till the end before I remembered I AM A CANADIAN.

MmeLindor. Wed 28-Dec-11 18:29:19

Yes, that is the great thing about this thread. The 'punchline' is so unexpected.

knittedbreast Wed 28-Dec-11 18:32:30

i leave my 2 yr old alone downstairs, i dont consider it dangerous unless ive left a saw in the room

msbaublestwinkle Wed 28-Dec-11 18:33:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuePurblybilt Wed 28-Dec-11 18:34:15

And that is the beauty of bumping classics

You get to shout RTFT lots and lots.

golemmings Wed 28-Dec-11 20:07:05

I got to the second flounce and had to stop neglecting my children. Did anything interesting happen on pages 14-27?

MmeLindor. Wed 28-Dec-11 20:08:36

YES, keep reading.

WinterWonderlandIsComing Wed 28-Dec-11 20:12:40

Oh I was hoping this was "that" thread.

I asked about Classics a couple of times and was told that HQ had considered it but no sad

Happy Birthday SGM!

<Also desperate for OP to update and see if she ever did get to Canada>

A1980 Wed 28-Dec-11 22:49:53

As others have said it depends on the child and how well child proofed the house is. Leaving a 2 year old downstairs with 2 adults upstairs in the same house doens't seem that bad considering the that McCann's left 2 year old twins and a 3 year old alone every night in an unlocked holiday flat that backed onto a busy road.

Runs away......

SuePurblybilt Wed 28-Dec-11 22:51:05

'As others have said'. So you read some of it A1980 grin

To2012AndBeyondTheLimits Wed 28-Dec-11 22:55:09

My DH just read the entire thread to me, was wondering right through why it had become a zombie thread!
Happy birthday SGM!! wine

MmeLindor. Wed 28-Dec-11 23:00:37

Run back and read the rest...

Pandemoniaa Wed 28-Dec-11 23:21:36

ds1 is working in Canada next year.

So (puffs out chest proudly and waves maple leaf flag) I too can hold my head high amongst the Canadians and shout "I MIGHT NOT QUITE BE CANADIAN BUT I DAMNED WELL NEARLY AM!"

golemmings Wed 28-Dec-11 23:52:44

Thank you MmeL. Tyatvmade for a very surreal evening but I think I enjoyed it!

Did anybody hear anything again From the OP?

Thumbinnapuddingwitch Thu 29-Dec-11 00:08:49

I wondered why this thread had been bumped again - well done, MmeL!!

I am not Canadian but I have to repost this link from SGM because it's fucking funny:

I wonder if the OP ever did get to Canada? Or her lazy-but-hardworking-DH? grin

Happy Birthday SGM! smile

diabolo Mon 12-Nov-12 19:27:22

That was a fabulous way to spend an hour - thanks for resurrecting it.

I wish I was Canadian!

OTS Tue 13-Nov-12 00:32:02

The only thing I have to say on this (and I haven't read the whole thread) is that I'm 24, and don't use text speak when I'm typing. You say thats the way we grew up typing... Yes we did, and that was fine when we were 15. It's not fine at 24, and not all 24 year olds type that way!

By the way, YABU!

OTS Tue 13-Nov-12 00:33:28

Hmm teach me not to read the whole thread... Or read the date that it was started! blush

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 13-Nov-12 00:39:49

Is it nearly SGM's birthday already?

Can we get a maple leaf on the logo in her honour? If Tech have time to grow moustaches, that shouldn't be too much trouble.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 13-Nov-12 00:46:59

I would just like to say that as soon as I get my bloody application in for citizenship I WILL BE A CANADIAN. Doesn't flow, does it?

MrRected Tue 13-Nov-12 00:48:37

How big is your house OP?

If your DH pisses off to the East Wing and leaves little johnny in the drawing room with an open fire and access to the lake, then perhaps YANBU.

If, you are like most of us, living in a 2/3 bed semi and little johnny is less than 20 linear metres away from the shower/bathroom, then I think you are being neurotic and I feel sad for your partner.

Walkacrossthesand Tue 13-Nov-12 07:56:14

Marking my place to come back later when I have more time...

pingu2209 Tue 13-Nov-12 08:05:49

Surely your house is now todler proof, you have had 2.5 years to make it so.

On the basis you have a 'safe house', of course it is okay to leave your 2.5 year old downstairs whilst you or dh take a shower.

You can't be stood next to your child at all moments of their life. What do you do when you need the loo?

pingu2209 Tue 13-Nov-12 08:07:00

By the way, as a warning, my friend was just like this to the partner of her twins and he ended up leaving as not coming back as my friend's neurotic behaviour pushed him away. Just saying!

exoticfruits Tue 13-Nov-12 08:13:47

I had forgotten this thread! The main point is that the father is an equal parent and OP isn't the senior parent who has to be referred to see what she thinks. I used to leave my 2.5yr old to have a shower- I was a single parent.

podgymumma Tue 13-Nov-12 09:18:17

YABU I do it every day.

Mylittlepuds Tue 13-Nov-12 09:45:36

Totally depends on house and child.

AngelWreakinHavoc Tue 13-Nov-12 10:01:32

Bonkers! I have just spent over an hour reading this and should be working grin

oldnewmummy Tue 13-Nov-12 10:23:00

I wonder how they're finding life in Canada ......

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Tue 13-Nov-12 10:54:20

Now this is one zombie thread I've really enjoyed grin

So many highlights but one that made me howl was 'if your going to critisise my grammar get it rite' grin

I wonder if the op is still a nightmare around

LadyBeagle Tue 13-Nov-12 10:59:02

Thanks for bumping this.
What a joy it was.
I wonder where the OP is now.

jumpingjackhash Tue 13-Nov-12 12:32:45

I've just found this thread thanks to MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember and it's the best hour I've spent in the office for some time (should be doing something work-related rather than trying not to snigger at MN blush).

Do we think the OP has made it to Canada now?

Total classic.

Tallgiraffe Tue 13-Nov-12 13:19:30

Oh wow, thank you for bumping this. Have just read the whole thread and it has massively improved my day after a morning of refluxy baby. Wonder if they're still together? And where they're living grin

MmeLindor Tue 05-Mar-13 21:19:57

bumping just cause I can

woopsidaisy Tue 05-Mar-13 22:28:19 it REALLY worth it? I'll be up lots bf DS3.

idshagphilspencer Tue 05-Mar-13 22:29:58


mynewpassion Tue 05-Mar-13 22:40:38

I think this is the same poster who wouldn't give her neighbor a nappy when asked.

MmeLindor Tue 05-Mar-13 22:42:38

Read the thread, folks. READ THE THREAD

bugsyburge Tue 05-Mar-13 23:18:36

Never going to get those 2 hours of my life back...was worth it though!!!!

morefoolyou Mon 08-Apr-19 22:15:54

Most bonkers thread ever

Jamiefraserskilt Mon 08-Apr-19 22:31:53

I popped mine in their rooms and shut the door gate, leaving the bathroom door open so I could sing, talk to them or whatever. Depends on the child but mine were climbers so never left them downstairs alone.

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