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To think members of the public should let me make safety decisions for my own children?

(160 Posts)
nikki1978 Wed 04-Aug-10 16:43:15

I am not one of those mums who won't let their child go on a climbing frame alone for fear they might fall off but neither am I neglectful. Yet when out if I let my DC climb on a wall without holding their hand, climb up steep grass verges or do anything that involves the tiniest amount of risk people are forever rushing up to the kids saying are you ok, then looking at me and asking is he/she ok? I am clearly standing there supervising them doing something but personally feel they are having fun doing it and obsessive hovering is not necessary. I often get "oh aren't you brave, I would be terrified to let my DC do that" or "Isn't that a bit dangerous?". Er no it is not dangerous you judgemental, overprotective, giant freak!

Oh rant over grin

porcamiseria Wed 04-Aug-10 16:45:02

where do you live?

porcamiseria Wed 04-Aug-10 16:45:08

where do you live?

cat64 Wed 04-Aug-10 16:47:38

Message withdrawn

scrab806ble Wed 04-Aug-10 16:48:11

Never had this happen. In fact mostly the opposite, being looked at as over-proctective cos watching them.

MathsMadMummy Wed 04-Aug-10 16:48:37


recently I've had a train worker person tell me DS's head was too bent over while he slept in the buggy hmm

oh and DD was standing on the bus, with me right next to her, and apparently that meant she was destined to fall over and get seriously injured hmm

smile and nod folks, smile and nod.

BuzzingNoise Wed 04-Aug-10 16:48:53


alarkaspree Wed 04-Aug-10 16:56:30

Oh this has been annoying me lately too. Yesterday a bus driver gave me a big talking to as I got on the bus carrying ds's scooter - 'You should take that away from him... doesn't it fold up?... Well don't let him have it on the bus, it's very dangerous you know.' What sort of idiot did she think I was?

Also I have had 'hold their hands' on plank to ferry, I shouldn't let the kids hold the door of the lift open for me, the buggy thing, I was an abusive mother because ds wasn't wearing a hat on a cold day... Don't move to New York op, it is full of busybodies.

It makes my blood boil. I have looked after them for 6 years, they are still in one piece. Why do all these strangers think they can parent my kids better than I can?

alarkaspree Wed 04-Aug-10 16:56:58

I feel better now smile

prozacfairy Wed 04-Aug-10 17:36:57

I've had this a few times. "your DD will end up with a broken neck sitting up to sleep in the buggy like that dear". Yup course she will hmm You go take your medication now. Dear. Ignore ignore ignore!

ShinyAndNew Wed 04-Aug-10 17:41:54

Oh I get this at the school gates. Dd2 loves to climb. She climbs regularly at home and very rarely falls. She is three. She copies the 'big' boys and girls climbing on a wall to sit on and wait for the dd1 to come out.

I was stood behind a 'friend' when I heard her say to her friend who had obviously commented on dd2 "Yes I know my heart is in my mouth every time I see that poor baby. Her mother is never bothered about her. She is always letting her do things like that. I have seen her just watching while the baby climbs the big frame in the park before. She is only 3 years old"

ShinyAndNew Wed 04-Aug-10 17:42:26

The wall btw is only about a foot and half high.

TheButterflyEffect Wed 04-Aug-10 17:43:21

Message withdrawn

hatingmyjob Wed 04-Aug-10 17:43:37

I was at the park with DD when she was about 4 and as we went in an old lady sadi teh her "Don't run. You'll fall over" !!!!

Of course, it was hugely neglectful o fme to let a four year old run in the park!

EndangeredSpecies Wed 04-Aug-10 17:45:48

Does anyone know what words mean any more?? Since when was a mother "abusive" mother for not putting hat on child, since when were you a baby at the age of three... sad, affected, precious people they must be.

EndangeredSpecies Wed 04-Aug-10 17:47:03

Hating, I hear that every day. Last weekend was on the BEACH - sand not stones - when father said exact same thing to 2 year old. FFS.

gorionine Wed 04-Aug-10 17:47:27


I give the benefit of the doubt to the bus driver though. It would not surprise me if he had encountered parents who actually let their Dcs scoot up and down the moving bus.

MathsMadMummy Wed 04-Aug-10 19:00:30

"Don't run. You'll fall over" PMSL!!! she's right you know, you're a terrible mother... wink


reminds me of the many parents in our (very MC if I may say so) playground at the park: "don't climb that, Daddy says you're not allowed" "don't do that you'll get muddy" "oh I don't let DS on the woodchip, it's dirty"

oh do shut up

yes, I judge and I don't care!

FlyMeToDunoon Wed 04-Aug-10 19:09:05

I had a man shouting at me once because DD2 had run up to the end of our road and just around the corner[on the pavement] ahead of me. She was about 3.5 at the time. 'Anything could have happened' apparently.

Oblomov Wed 04-Aug-10 19:23:10

DRIVES ME MAD, MAD I TELL YOU. this does. and yes, while you're asking, i am shouting. makes me so cross.
my benign neglect is just fine as a parenitng tool rather than helicopter parenting nonsense. thank you very much.
"careful, careful."

<<sod off you over anxious nitwit>>

emptyshell Wed 04-Aug-10 19:36:59

Bus driver was probably only covering his own back by mentioning not to use the scooter on the bus. If he hadn't said it, someone somewhere probably would use it and sue.

lady007pink Wed 04-Aug-10 19:46:00

My brother's MIL is the worst I ever came across - he has learnt to let her info go in one ear and out the other.

She told them off for having their 2yo DS on a swing because apparently he could slip off and hurt himself - it was only 9 inches from the ground, with wood chippings underneath and he only sitting on it, not even swinging!

During a recent heatwave, DB and DSIL opened their kitchen windows as one does. She ordered them to close the windows as they were creating a draught in the room that could give their DS an ear infection.

I could go on.....

theyoungvisiter Wed 04-Aug-10 19:53:44

Good thread!

I was on the tube today with 4 year old DS1 and 18 month old DS2 in buggy.

We were slowly bumping down the tube steps, with DS1 walking beside me.

Up comes middle-aged lady "Would you like a hand with them?"

Me [immensely grateful] "oh yes please..."

Imagine my amazement when she walked right past the buggy, seized DS1 round the armpits and carried him down the stairs, leaving me to carry on bumping with DS2!

DS1's outraged face was a picture though - almost made up for it! grin

EssieW Wed 04-Aug-10 19:55:11

YANBU. I get this with DS who is a lovely active and adventurous 3 year old. He cycles everywhere at teh moment on his balance bike - cue lots of disapproving (though admittedly sometimes admiring) looks. DS also very good at climbing so is often found at the top of a climbing frame. He's very surefooted though.

Mind you, I did judge the other side the other day when watching another mother helicopter parent her two children whilst at a farm. Poor kids weren't allowed to do anything as the big bad outdoors might get them.

heymango Wed 04-Aug-10 19:58:12


My favourite was when I had taken DCs on a riverside walk. DS1 was standing on a little beachy bit while DS2 was in his pram, with me in the middle within arm's reach of both.

A couple of elderly ladies came across and started with 'we feel we have got to say something...' Apparently, DS1 could fall into the river and while I was throwing myself in to rescue him as he was dragged down the river by the current, a paedophile who was just passing, could snatch DS2.

Now you are going to tell me I was being negligent, and I will have to eat my words...

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