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Ds starting school tomorrow :( I feel sick

(25 Posts)
alibobins Sun 06-Sep-09 20:00:19

Can't believe time has gone so quick we were hoping he would have grown out of some of his allergies but sadly they have got worse.
School have had epi-pen training and put a really good care plan in place but I still feel sick to my stomach think I will be a nervous wreck between 12 and 1 sad

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 06-Sep-09 20:33:33

Could you go into school for the first lunch and speak to the dinner ladies yourself? You might feel better if you know they know what not to give him.

Weta Sun 06-Sep-09 21:38:46

Are the school providing his lunch then?

I can imagine how hard it must be but I guess you've worked through it all and decided the safety mechanisms are in place...

Our schools have always said they can't cater for DS1, so I provide his lunch - more hassle for me, but I think both we and the school feel safer somehow.

I'm sure he'll be fine, but I agree it might be good to talk to the lunch staff yourself if you haven't already.

Let us know how it goes!

moodlumthehoodlum Sun 06-Sep-09 21:47:08

DD's school are religious about people with allergies and coping with them, so I'm sure that your ds' school will be really good.

Don't blame you for feeling sick though. Good idea about going in for the first lunchtime.

AcademicMum Sun 06-Sep-09 22:30:20

I feel for you. DS1 is also starting school on Tuesday. He has an oral challenge tomorrow for his egg allergy but even if this is OK there's still his nut, bean, pea, kiwi reactions to consider.... We're making him a packed lunch so that we can control that but of course they never keep their hands off each other's lunches do they?

alibobins Mon 07-Sep-09 07:47:11

Feel even worse this morning sad
School won't provide lunch or snacks so I will provide it all.
I met with the lunc staff and they were a bit stand offish saying they can't protect him from everything sad Ds is anapylactic to eggs fish and nuts he can't tolerate much diary.
Ds teacher will be staying with him to begin with.

Wish me luck

TheDMshouldbeRivened Mon 07-Sep-09 07:51:11

he will be fine. I was a wreck when dd went with the fear she'd have a life threatening seizure and they'd get her med wrong. They get better training than we do!

Weta Mon 07-Sep-09 09:27:39

If you're providing his lunch then that gives you a lot more control I reckon.

DS1 (anaphylaxis to dairy) started going to the canteen at age 4 and has always been absolutely fine. He is so scared of a reaction (based on past experience) that there is no way he would touch any other child's food - and lots of people have told me allergic kids tend to be quite mature because of it.

I always put in more food than I thought he really needed so that he wouldn't be tempted (after the teacher told me he was asking for more). I do what I consider a normal lunch and then add in a couple of rice wafers with Marmite.

The other thing that always freaks me out is kids bringing in birthday cakes, cooking activities etc - the teacher this year has asked me to bring in a packet of safe cakes that he can have if the others get a treat.

How does your DS feel about it? and do you feel you can trust him?

claw3 Mon 07-Sep-09 09:34:36

Alibobins - My heart goes out to you, my own ds started school in January, he doesnt have an allergies, but has various other problems and one of these involves food.

I too found the dinner ladies to be very defensive, when all i wanted was some reassurance.

Do whatever will make you feel better and give you peace of mind. Dont worry about the school thinking you are precious.

thisisyesterday Mon 07-Sep-09 09:41:29

oh alibobins, i do feel for you. I was fretting big time over ds1 just because he is vegetarian and i was worried he'd eat some meat!! so i can't imagine how ridiculously frightened i'd be if he had an allergy of any sort.

is the school fairly near to you? is there any chance they'd let you be there at lunchtime just to check?

i guess if his teacher is with him he'll be fine though, i do't suppose they want him to have a reaction any more than you do so take heart in that

headabovewater Mon 07-Sep-09 09:59:37

I know how you feel. DD (5) is anaphylactic to dairy and also probably eggs, sesame and some nuts. I was terrified about her starting school last year but her first year passed with not a single reaction. She learned to look out for herself and I am really proud of the way she coped. I went in for a while at lunches and hovered, trying not to look anxious! It helped us all I think; dd was reassured, I saw that she was sensible about it all the staff realised the seriousness of the situation plus, through normal chat, that I am not a completely over-protective mad woman!

It is hard when you get a dismissive reaction as per your dinner ladies. People can be very defensive but it sometimes means they are scared - no bad thing really. Ds's teacher is more relevant IMO - if he/she 'gets it' then you should be fine.

Gradually letting go of a severely allergic child is impossibly hard, but it has to be done. I never properly relax, and you will be a wreck at lunchtimes at the start, but it is highly likely that he will be absolutely fine. Just keep reminding him, tell him that if he ever feels tempted to take anything else/swap you will give him something better to eat once he gets home and keep making him feel grown up and special.

Good luck.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 07-Sep-09 10:40:55

I hope it all goes well today.

If anyone is off with you just remind the of the consequences of your son eating or touching something he shouldn't.

DesperateHousewifeToo Mon 07-Sep-09 10:52:17

I was so lucky with ds' teacher when he first started full time school. She was allergic to nuts and had an epi-pen, so 'got' the seriousness of the situation with his food allergies.

The school was not 'nut free' at that point.

The children were not allowed to eat each others' food and he was drilled in this and was quite responsible.

Hope it goes well and your mind is set at rest.

alibobins Mon 07-Sep-09 11:01:27

He can be quite grown up about it but sometimes gets a little silly.
I have drilled it into him to eat his lunch out of his box and not on the table. I've packed him enough to last all week blush
The school have said they will encourage all children to wash hands etc after eating as ds can be sensitive to touch sad
If lunch time becomes an issue he can come home as soon I will be on maternity but wanted to give him chance to make new friends.

So far no phone calls grin

IdrisTheDragon Mon 07-Sep-09 11:04:12

I don't have personal experience but one of DS's friends has a severe milk allergy and is now in year 1. The school is very good about it and there have been no problems.

The other children in his class all know about it and are very understanding.

alibobins Mon 07-Sep-09 19:21:24

Well first day over and done with and ds was absolutely fine smile
School rang me at lunch to tell me he was a bit upset but think that was to do with being frightened not anything else.
Thanks for all your kind words.

DesperateHousewifeToo Mon 07-Sep-09 19:44:48


Nice that the school called you. I'm sure that means they take it all seriously and sounds as though they are keen to keep in touch with you smile

headabovewater Tue 08-Sep-09 09:37:11

Good news - sounds as if school is on the ball (although it must have been scary getting a call at lunchtime!).

You may find that ds's 'silly' moments are rarer at school - my dd seems to register that when I'm not around she needs be more grown up. But in return when she started school she got a bit more anxious about allergies; I tried to reassure her obviously but I think that is a normal, and necessary, reaction to having to take more responsibility.

Hope you all begin to relax a bit soon and he enjoys school.

BlueBumedFly Tue 08-Sep-09 20:28:25

alibobins - have you heard of allergy buddies? If I can find the link I will. It is an excellent initiative set out by a group I know that, well, hang on....


Sorry, not clever enough to create a link, anyhow, it is about getting friends to bring allergy-free lunch boxes to school so that they can sit with friends instead of being stuck on a table with a teacher. Your DS might be a little young for this right now but a thought for the future perhaps?

I have had coffee with the Mums who set it up and they are fantastic, it is such a brilliant idea.

DesperateHousewifeToo Wed 09-Sep-09 10:08:24

Here you go BBF

Allergy Buddies

Seems a simple, sensible way around the worry of lunch-times.

I think the more the issue is discussed amongst their friends, the better. It helps to stop the allergic child feel different and as though they are causing problems.

alibobins Thu 10-Sep-09 19:47:21

Allergy Buddies seem a brilliant idea so simple yet so effective I'm going to speak to school about it tomorrow.

BlueBumedFly Thu 10-Sep-09 21:10:56

Desperate - thanks, I am such a techno-klutz!

It is good, I am so chuffed there are clever people out there thinking up great things.

Alibobins - do I remember correctly that your DD had her tonsils out? If so, how did it go?

alibobins Fri 11-Sep-09 06:52:58

Not my DD sorry

athomeagain Thu 01-Oct-09 23:14:20

How is it all going??

alibobins Sat 03-Oct-09 11:02:08

Its going really well Ds was sent home in the second week as he was all blotcy and complaining he didn't feel well but turned out to be a virus he can get a bit like that sometimes.
Thanks for asking

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