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Birthday Party coming up - allergy question - please help!

(31 Posts)
MrsWood Wed 18-May-05 12:22:52

My dd is going to be 2 soon and one child that will be coming to the party can't have *dairy, wheat, gluten or corn* products - what on earth can I prepare for her so she doesn't feel left out when other children eat their cake? I'm sure her parents will bring food with them, but I'd like to show effort on our part and make sure she enjoys herself as much as everyone else.


tatt Thu 19-May-05 06:21:39

Bless you - if only more people would make an effort. Health food stores stock gluten free flours and rice milk but double check the baking powder is gluten free. Recipes like this can be made with non dairy "milk"

this is a fruit cake

Most supermarkets now stock allergy free foods - we bought a cake from Sainsbury's that was milk and gluten free, not sure about corn. She'll be able to eat cheese, fruit, sultanas, little cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, possibly rice crackers and crisps but check what type you have.

One problem for children with allergies is that the food they could eat often disappears before they get the chance to take it. If you can let her be first or second to choose food (or give every child their own plate/box) her parents will love you for ever

MrsWood Thu 19-May-05 11:22:04

Thank you so much for that - much much appreciated!

rummum Thu 19-May-05 16:04:41

Its a nice thought what your doing... but do check with the parents first. What would happen if the child ate anyone of these products? I'm afraid I wouldn't trust anyone else to make food for my allergic son. I'm sure the parents will bring there own food for the child... Let us know how you get on

MrsWood Thu 19-May-05 16:38:26

Oh, already thought of - I was gonna keep all packets from any food products we offer this little girl - I would be vary if it was my dd that was allergic eating at someone elses house.

rummum Thu 19-May-05 18:52:57

Good idea, what happens if she eats these things?
ps don't forget contamination from other things aswell...

tatt Fri 20-May-05 07:21:17

MrsWood Please don't be put off trying because of the possible cross contamination risk. All parents of allergic children are terrified when they eat food prepared by someone else because of the possibility of contamination. Even if they feel too nervous to let their child eat any of the food now (she is only 2) the fact that you have made a real effort helps the parents to deal with their anxiety about their child. Some wet wipes for the little girl to wipe her hands before eating will also show you are especially clued up.

rummum don't know how old your child is but you will not still be feeding them as an adult. They will want to go to friend's parties, mine wanted to go to guides camp this year. I know its really hard for parents but you have to learn to balance your fear of contamination against the risk that your child will be socially isolated.

SoupDragon Fri 20-May-05 08:30:35

I had to do gluten free for a child this year - it was trickier than dairy free! Watch out for things like sausages as these often contain gluten, you'll need to get them from a "free from" range. Tescos certainly do some. Her parents (friends of ours) gave me a gluten free chocolate muffin/cake bar thing to substitute for the cake when it got to that part of the party but these are readily available from Tescos etc. It also had the advantage of being wrapped in plastic so no contamination.

I would definitely recommend doing food in boxes because it means you don't have to worry about the "special" food being eaten by everyone or contaminated and it's less obvious that the child's box is different.

rummum Fri 20-May-05 13:07:44

rummum don't know how old your child .......
Son is 7... I have no problem with son going to party's, but I would always send him with his own food, I would not expect anyone else to go out of their way to get him different food for a party, the 'hostess' has more than enough on her plate organising and getting food for everyone else, also I know what son likes so I know what he'd eat when he was there... son has no problem with this

Son's school organised for him to make an xmas cake last year, I told them I would be happy to supply any extra ingredients he may need, just to let me know... I found out from a friend that because he couldn't have eggs... they decided to use yoghurt instead!! yes they had forgotten that yoghurts was a dairy produce... It hadn't come into contact with his skin. and no he didn't eat it... they were a bit red faced when I pointed out their mistake.. (and quite rightly so)

MrsWood Fri 20-May-05 14:07:11

I have never met little girl's parents and I know that they avoided last 3 parties we've been on - possibly a coincedence, but you never know, maybe just easier for them not to go then pick and choose food and seem awkward... According to nursery staff, my dd is playing a lot with this child and I'm sure she'd love her to be there, so I want to make a special effort and let her parents know (in the invite) that we are aware of her allergies and that there WILL be special food for her available at the party. Maybe they see that as a sign that we really want them to come, and maybe that will be an ice breaker for future parties... Worth a try I think. At least we'll feel better that we tried our best.

christie1 Sat 21-May-05 23:28:37

My child is allergic to alot of things. The easiest way is just call or talk to the parents and ask them for suggestions rather than guessing. I was advised once that by having a child with allergies, to use it as a test of a person's kindness. Some parents wouldn't bother to invite my daughter because she has food allergies, others bend over backwards to make her feel welcome and safe. You should be proud of yourself for your kind nature and the parents will appreciate it. Just ask them what you can do and don't be offended if they feel safer just bringing their own food. Their child is young and they are still learning themselves how to manage their allergy. It may also help them if you invite them to remain at the party. I would not leave my child at others homes until she was 8 and still find it tough to do it. But, god bless, glad there are thoughtful people like you.

MrsWood Sat 21-May-05 23:35:11

Oh, all parents MUST stay at the party (who'd manage 12 2 year olds alone???) LOL

Skribble Sun 22-May-05 00:05:51

I made the effort at my daughters party to get juice,little cakes and sweets for a boy who is alergic to colourings. When he was collected I let his mum know that the cake and sweets in his bag had no artificial colours or flavourings, she said oh he won't get it anyway I'll have them later with a cuppa .

So I didn't tell her what we had been feeding him all afternoon I kinda hope he was climbing the walls all night well she was quite cheeky when she said it.

tatt Sun 22-May-05 05:35:07

they may not be staying away from parties from choice, mrs wood. When parents know your child has serious food allergies invitations tend to be few and far between This child may well grow out of some or all of her allergies but the parents will always remember who was helpful and who wasn't.

Skribble I didn't let my kids have lots of sweets after parties when they were little either, even if they were safe. I just didn't want them having a lot of sugar and they'd have had a lot already at the party. Tactless of the mother to tell you she'd eat them - I used to put my kids sweets away for later.

Debbiethemum Sun 22-May-05 07:25:08

On a similar theme. I have just found out that one of the invitees for my ds's 4th birthday is allergic to gluten & milk. Not that it's a problem & because his mum didn't mention it I assume she is bringing supplies. However, I have also been told that he is very allergic to milk, can't let a drop get on his skin etc.
Can someone with a bit more experience than me tell me how that would impact the cheese sandwiches the others get or are cheese sandwiches off the menu for everyone. Is it the same for ice-cream?

Also does anyone have any ideas for gluten & dairy free food??? I thought cocktail sausages were OK till I saw SoupDragon's post. Also are crisps etc OK or what varieties are good.


SueW Sun 22-May-05 08:44:29

There's been a big recall of some products recently, contaminated with milk. Kettle chips, Boots 'Free From' chocolate, Sainsburys 'Free From' Iced dessert. More info here .

bobbybob Sun 22-May-05 08:47:53

Skribble - I wouldn't give them to my ds either, but I certainly wouldn't let you know that after you had gone to all that trouble.

Debbie - he can't let a drop get on his skin, but his mother hasn't mentioned it to you. I think I would contact her and ask what she is planning to do (and make sure she is stopping at the party if the allergy turns out to be as bad as all that).

Frizbe Sun 22-May-05 09:25:14

Sainsburys and Tescos both have large free from ranges, our local ones in particular (although it could be due to my good friends recent crusade on the matter as our coop now do a whole line as well!)
Tescos range is usually in/next to the organic section. Sainsburys have their own section.
Cocktail sausages are usually not ok, but again Tescos etc do stock Gluten Free sausages (even Asda have these in!)
This link might be of use, the supermarkets usually do them


There is a really good bread range as well and I can't for the life of me remember the name of the company (might be D&S?) It has Purple n Orange pkging most of the time tho, and does things like sweet breakfast rolls, which my glueten free friend informs me are the best!
A company called Paul's Organic are also good tho.

Oh and if you want a yummy cake for all, M&S do a wicked chocolate orange cake that is gluten free.

Good luck with your catering, Since my friend had to go gluten free I've realised how annoying it is for her to have to eat a different diet, so your thought going into the matter will be hugely appreciated by her and her family.

Portree Sun 22-May-05 21:36:05

Mrs Wood, I think it's wonderful that you are going to the trouble for your daughter's friend. I think Christie's comments about catering for those with allergies as reflective of their kindness quite astute. The way I see it is I would never invite an adult with allergies to my home and expect them to bring their own food and nor would I put out food that could potentially kill them. No way to treat guests, imho.

Debbiethemum, wrt ice cream, I recently bought non-dairy ice cream from the health food shop for my ds (milk, egg and peanut allergies). It's called Swedish Glace and comes in several flavours. I served it up to some non-allergic children and they thought it was fantastic. To me it just tasted like dairy ice cream. Don't know it's gluten content though.

RachelsAunty Mon 23-May-05 13:50:38

My DS (7) is allergic to milk, eggs, fish & nuts so whenever we go to parties I always take supplies. When I phone to accept an invitation I always say because of his alleriges I'll bring a plate of food for him. Any party bags he is given he is being taught to say thank you for & then when we get home we look thro them together to decide what he can have. Anything he can't have is swapped for something safe. If he goes to tea I make sure that the parent is aware & anything he is going to eat is safe. No problems so far.....

Oatly make icecream, also oat supreme sorry, no link

RachelsAunty Mon 23-May-05 13:52:34

sorry oatly

tatt Tue 24-May-05 06:07:54

agree with portree that I'd never expect guests to bring their own food. Pre-kids we had a vegetarian visitor and he was amazed that we all ate the same food because he was used to being given something different. I'd have seen that as rude. These days we so rarely manage a meal we can all eat that my standards are lower If its a party for young children I tend to feel the organiser has enough problems without having to worry about special food - so I offer to take some. However the rare person who is prepared to make an effort is treasured. Anytime there is an emergency and they need their kids to sleepover they know where to come.

MrsWood Mon 27-Jun-05 22:09:17

Where have all the previous messages gone??? I was just about to write some recipes down from the links provided but everyhting seems to have vanished!?

tatt Wed 29-Jun-05 03:45:27

e-mail tech (think you do that via the contactus address) and ask or post on the site board and see what response that gets. The search facility is still saying 20 messages so something odd is going on.

MrsWood Wed 29-Jun-05 19:27:24


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