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If there was an allergy AIBU page I'd be there right now!!

(50 Posts)
BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 00:32:32

I use fb and have linked to a page that makes good nutritional suggestions for packed lunches and home cooked ideas for kids. It's a good well thought out initiative. Anyway (rant approaching) tonight said page asked about food allergies, do we make or buy to help them provide allergen-free ideas. A poster (not from cool initiative) comes on saying about germs and clean freaks and pets like we are all a bunch of people who have I initiated our kids' allergies by the way we brought them up.

Red Mist.

I tried to explain that there was no link between cleanliness and allergies and apparently I was being antagonistic. Seriously?? I think the description of all the things that take place in this persons household followed by ... 'and did I mention, no allergies??' tipped me over the edge, its been a long day ...

Now I feel bad for ranting on the thread but I felt so angry .... dare I say it ... AIBU??

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 00:44:17

Yab a bit u because your post doesn't really are much sense. But if it is just someone being a dick, post a childish insult to them, as if you are about 12. That always makes me feel better. May I suggest 'you are a massive turd' (my current favourite). It is really not helpful for someone to say you caused your dd's allergies by being too clean - wtf? I am not surprised you feel a bit annoyed.

girlsyearapart Sat 20-Apr-13 01:00:43

Aibu to be bored of sitting in a&e with dd and her allergic reactions - which is where we are now..
I am tired!

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 01:09:49

Oh dear, I hope your dd is ok.

girlsyearapart Sat 20-Apr-13 01:23:28

Thanks Bessie.
So far only piriton & steroids managing to avoid epipen for now

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 05:13:20

Sorry for any ambiguities but was trying not to be too specific for fear of outing myself in RL. I was just so annoyed to think people think its really just so simple.

GirlsAYear - I hope you got sorted swiftly and your DD is ok and you got home for some sleep x

girlsyearapart Sat 20-Apr-13 07:35:29

Think we got to bed about 4am.
She's still asleep but I had to get up with the others at 630.

She has known allergies so people think easy just avoid them simple..
Trouble is she also has unknown allergies & airborne ones to certain trees.

Try avoiding walking past trees hmm

Yanbu but I think allergies are something you can't really understand unless you're living it really..

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 08:07:45

Oh that's very stressful for you, like you say trees are unavoidable. Oh I do hope you can get done sort of resolution.

I think what got me was the glibness of the 'guess what no allergies' after the poster suggested her LOs didn't have allergies as they were allowed to roll in the mud and not wash their hands after petting animals.

I did try to explain rationally ... feel a tad silly today though ...


girlsyearapart Sat 20-Apr-13 08:27:03

I don't blame you for getting annoyed!

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 10:59:55

am I being thick? whats AIBU?

girlsyearapart Sat 20-Apr-13 14:31:17

Am I being unreasonable? It's another section of mums net. You have to wear armour to go there ! wink

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 17:06:13

ah right I don't use any other sections of Mums net purely just the allergy section.

fwiw we are most deff NOT clean freaks, and still have allergies

asthma, hayfever, eczema, nuts, peanuts and egg.

Also as u mentioned fb there are 2 fab support groups there too.

one is CAN childrens allergy network

the other is a specific nut/peanut group

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 21:34:55

I know, I rarely post anywhere else than here and that is rare. I was tired emotional and bloody angry. It was just so glib. My red mist descended and yes I was a bit irrational. As I said, I tried to explain and still got the 'I do x, y & z and my kids are fine' I thing the line 'so its the mother's immunity then' that really made me angry.

For anyone who wants to know SDDs peanut desensitisation is still going well and we are so happy with the results (for those who don't know the history we went from anayphylaxis at 75th of a peanut to 25 peanuts). There is great progress and I am so hoping this science expands to more allergens, the team are amazing.

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 21:40:44

oh wow how amazing does ur DD have other allergies? does she still carry epi pens?

Wallison Sat 20-Apr-13 21:44:49

Oh, there are so many people out there with crap assumptions about allergies that it's almost unreal. I got used to dealing with all kinds of shit - the ones that said surely a bit won't hurt, it'll help him get used to it, the ones that said it was probably because we don't have a hairy pet, the ones that said their kids were ok because they were breastfed etc etc. My favourite moment was always when someone asked what my DS's reaction to the allergen was and I would reply "anaphylaxis". Yeah, that shut them up. grin Not so easy to label that as fussy or psychosomatic, is it, you fool?

UniqueAndAmazing Sat 20-Apr-13 21:47:30


dh has allergies, mainly dust mites (asthma) and you can't get rid of those!
plus hayfever- you can't clean outside.

I was brought up in that same house as my sister with some allergies but I have none. that blows the germ theory out.. doesn't it!

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 23:28:19

ukey - yes, but they have all 'dampened down' apart from cat fluff. We still have epipens, you can never say never but we are in a really much better place.

Wallison & U&A - feel your pain I agree you can't know it till you live it but have some freeking common sense people, we don't want this for our kids, I'm sure some people still think its all made up sad

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 23:32:14

Well at least the dirty woman gets to feel smug about her kids having no allergies in her pigsty

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 23:37:09

that's really great BlueBumedFly how old is she?

girlsyearapart Sun 21-Apr-13 13:30:57

Great news re desensitisation bbf

I have 4 dc and only one with allergies so how does that work with the clean house theory!

My best ever 'you bloody idiot' moment was when I had a birthday party for the dds 2nd & 3rd birthday.
She was still cmp allergic as well as the ones she still has - egg, nuts and sesame seeds.

I made all of the food so that dd could eat whatever she liked at her own party including homemade cake & biscuits.

A dad turned up late with his ds and complained that there was no gluten free food for his son.

'Oh I didn't realise he was gluten free' I say

'Its something we are experimenting with' says he..

'Oh well my dd could die if she eats the wrong thing so I cater for that really.'

Really couldn't think what else to say.
It's because of people who think its 'fashionable' to have allergies and intolerances that people who genuinely have them get bad press.

girlsyearapart Sun 21-Apr-13 13:33:22

While we are on the subject - dds reaction on Friday made her nose swell up so much it made her nose bleed.
Has anyone had that before?

Bagofmashings Sun 21-Apr-13 19:08:27

Oh my god Bluebummedfly I feel like carrying a photo of the inside of my house around with me to show to people that it's not too clean!!

I've had so many comments from people who clearly don't have a clue about allergies. In the last couple of months I've been told by one woman that the reason her DC's don't have eczema is because she breastfed them till a year to keep them away from milk, I couldn't even be bothered to ask her if she was avoiding milk too.

Then another woman spent some time explaining to me that I could cure DS's nut allergy by giving him Nutella hmm. Admittedly she did look a bit sheepish when unexplained that his consultant had told us that even a very small amount of nuts could stop him breathing!
And then there was the woman with the lactose intoletent child who could only drink goats milk (which has as much lactose in it than any other type of milk).
I do try to see the funny side of it or ignore but it's so difficult when your struggling with constant reactions.
Hope your DD's ok girlsyearapart

TiredFeet Sun 21-Apr-13 19:18:59

Yanbu, people make idiotic comments about allergies. I breastfed ds and he has multiple severe allergies. Our house is most definitely not immaculate, far from it blush

My bil and sil are constantly insinuating we are just being neurotic even though we have told them about his anaphlyactic reaction at 6 months (first taste of cows milk) and his allergies have all been established through blood tests. Yet they are suprised we won't let them babysit!

girlsyearapart a party with all stuff your dd could eat sounds perfect. That dad is an idiot! I always have to take ds special food to parties, I would never think to complain

trixymalixy Sun 21-Apr-13 20:27:35


I did everything "right". Avoided everything I was told to in pregnancy, ebf to 6 months then weaned, several pets, didn't use antibacterial cleaning stuff,DEFINITELY don't have too clean a house, yet still have two allergic children.

My favourita was being told that me breast feeding caused the allergies. Apparently they were exposed to dairy etc too early and if I'd fed them formula they wouldn't have allergies. When I pointed out that formula is primarily made of cow's milk, I was told that was rubbish hmm.

InMySpareTime Sun 21-Apr-13 20:41:00

I have one allergic DC, one with no allergies. Breastfed both, not particularly clean house etc.

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