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Just waved anaphylactic DS1 off on 5-day school trip - feeling pretty crap!

(18 Posts)
Weta Mon 10-Oct-11 09:31:36

Well, he's gone... I felt pretty stressed/anxious over the weekend and still do! but I keep telling myself it's important for him to have the independence etc.

I do trust the teacher and the activity centre (they're providing some food and I've sent in about 4 substitute meals plus snacks), but it's sooooooo hard handing the responsibility over to someone else.

I posted earlier about the complication of his desensitisation protocol as he has to have two milk doses a day and can't do any exercise for 2 hours afterwards - again, teacher and centre have been fantastic, but it's hard to stop worrying.

smileitssunny Mon 10-Oct-11 13:47:58

Well done you! It can't be easy, but you've done it. Take a deep breath.
Nothing is going to stop you worrying until he gets home safely.

Are you allowed to phone the activity centre, maybe once a day, to check on him?

Weta Mon 10-Oct-11 15:01:07

Well I figure I will hear from them if there is a problem, though I am sure I will be thinking about it every mealtime and each time he has his milk dose.

Actually the teacher is going to text me each evening so that I can email all the parents to let them know how things are going, so at least there will be that contact.

Am feeling a bit better now, thanks to lots of chocolate!! and will make the most of the chance to eat lots of cheesy meals this week smile

babybarrister Mon 10-Oct-11 18:46:51

well done - it is so hard but we have to let go or they are not going to thank us in the long term I suspect ....!

Weta Mon 10-Oct-11 20:04:09

you're right of course... and as I went past his empty bedroom tonight I decided I should really be feeling proud of myself and him that he was able to go - and that he's simply excited about the trip and not at all worried or anxious smile

nellymoo Mon 10-Oct-11 20:50:04

Well-done!

I have been a little bit brave today, and DD (age 4) has been to a new school friend's house to play today, without me! This is the first time. I felt a bit sorry for the poor mum, though. May have terrified her a bit with the epi-pen crap grin

You must have done a great job, that he's so excited to go. You really should be proud.

BOOareHaunting Mon 10-Oct-11 21:01:05

Well done weta that must have been so hard.

Hope everything goes OK and this is the door opening for his independence.

Just an aside after nelly's post. Does anyone get a secret teenee thrill over scaring other parents with 'the epi-pen crap!'. Part of me thinks it helps them understand a little of what everyday life is like for us. blush

freefrommum Mon 10-Oct-11 21:09:01

Well done you! I know how hard it must be but what an experience for him. My DD1 just got back from similar residential trip and I was worried enough about her being coeliac. Dread to think what I'll be like in 6 yrs when DS2 with multiple allergies due to go! Btw be prepared for lots of stinky washing when he gets back - had to wash everything twice!

shouldbeelswhere Mon 10-Oct-11 21:24:32

Well done you brave ones. You are doing your children such a favour and they will be safer for it.

and yes boo I just love it.

Weta Tue 11-Oct-11 10:27:13

nellymoo well done to you too! I think each of these new milestones is a big deal but then you gradually get more comfortable with each one (at least that's what I'm hoping in my case!). You have to do the epipen thing of course - my approach is that you have to prepare everything as best you can and provide the necessary info, while appearing a lot more upbeat than you actually feel, and then try to let go.

BooareHaunting I kind of know what you mean, but then I feel quite weird when it suddenly dawns on them how hard it is for us (both the scary epipen stuff and general food preparation, plus lack of spontaneity) and I don't want them to think I'm self-pitying so then I just brush it off as something you get used to.

freefrommum at the moment I'm enjoying the tidy house and lack of washing (we just have 4yo DS2 left) but no doubt the washing will come to haunt me this weekend!

Thanks all for your support - I feel much better today, think I've just got used to it or something (apart from slight panic this morning when I realised I had put out of date instructions in one of the emergency kits by mistake, though I then remembered I had given the teacher a photocopy of the right one anyway just to familiarise himself with it).

You don't let go the responsibility really, but it is soooooooooo nice to eat meals with cheese/cream/butter (we specially went out and bought BUTTER!), not to have to prepare lunch for DS1 to take to the canteen, not to have to organise his medication and milk dose every morning and evening or his other meds, etc etc etc. Though then I feel guilty for enjoying the ease of non-allergic DS2, almost like I'm betraying DS1 somehow - you can't win!

Likeaninjanow Tue 11-Oct-11 16:58:45

Well done Weta. I hope he has a wonderful time away! It must be so hard, and I dread the day it comes for DS2, but it's an essential part of like isn't it? Stepping out on their own...gulp!

I sometimes allow myself a little fantasy of life without allergies. Only for a few minutes, but it's amazing. It would be so carefree!

Weta Tue 11-Oct-11 18:39:04

You know what though - in a way having a little allergy-free experience (albeit with the anxiety of DS1 away) kind of validates how much harder it is having an allergic child - like, it really is heaps harder, so it's ok to find it a hassle/tiring/stressful etc. I think about it too every time I take DS2 to a birthday party or when he eats at the school canteen etc - all just so easy and straightforward and then I realise why other parents don't really have any inkling of what it's like to deal with allergies:

babybarrister Sun 16-Oct-11 10:01:33

Back ok?

Weta Mon 17-Oct-11 09:47:12

Yes!! thanks for asking... he had a fabulous time and there was only one time he couldn't participate because of his desensitisation protocol, just when the others were kicking a ball around one night. So I reckon that's pretty good going for a five-day trip smile plus they managed to provide all his food except for two meals and the afternoon snacks.

AND he's learned to make his bed properly smile

I am sooooooooooooo glad we let him go - it was really hard on us but I guess we have all learned more about how to manage it, and gained in confidence...

Likeaninjanow Mon 17-Oct-11 18:59:09

That's fantastic Weta! grin

ChocaMum Mon 17-Oct-11 22:31:11

Well done weta, what great news. I felt anxious for you when I first read this thread, so really glad to hear all went well and he had a good time. I agree it's good for all of us, however terrifying.

DoNotHaveAClue Tue 18-Oct-11 22:22:53

I'm not surprised you were stressed. DC went off for 5 days on the same day (wonder if it is the same place) and I was worried without allergies to think about!

We too went out and bought all the foods DC1 can't [or won't, in our case] eat.

Weta Tue 18-Oct-11 23:11:54

Yeah we had a total cheese/cream/butter fest, though now that he's back the opened cream bottle and butter feel really out of place (we do normally buy cheese, just don't cook with it)!

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