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When will he die?

(10 Posts)
Brokentoday Thu 13-Feb-20 16:19:15

I would really appreciate any advice/experience on this...

My father who has cirrhosis of the liver have had for many years now apparently (but only found out last year july) still continues to drink heavily.. spirits. Even with his recent diagnosis of now a diabetic

Following a breakdown of his marriage, lost his job of 20 odd years and now living back home with parents he just lost the will to live...

He is not being honest about his health, and I fear that he has been giving a time to live.. he recently informed me on his visit to see me he will be bringing some paper work for me to sign in the event of his death me and my brother will have money to bury him.

He wont tell me anything because he does not want me to worry..

So I sit here waiting for a dreaded phone call (I live up north now and family down south) to say my dad is in hospital i need to come.

He shows all the classic signs of end stages cirrhosis, itchy skin, yellow tone, loss of appetite, tar stool, swollen ankles, swollen tummy, loss of memory/confusion, diabetes.

I just dont no what to do... I worry constantly when will it happen?? Sometime I wish it just happens so I can start mourning for my father properly as I have been doing for a while now.

Any advice I would really appreciate it.

X

OP’s posts: |
EngagedAgain Thu 13-Feb-20 16:42:27

Sorry don't know, but didn't want to read and run. I have though had the experience of someone close to me drinking, which after so many years of expecting something to happen, eventually I came to accept it, rather than live like that. Anyway, they managed to sort themselves out, and hopefully will be ok now, but I still keep myself on a level pegging for the time being. 💐

EngagedAgain Thu 13-Feb-20 16:45:57

Maybe you could get this thread moved so get more views, like relationship's or chat or 30 days, unless there's something else under the health section. Hopefully someone else will come along that can help. X

BillieEilish Thu 13-Feb-20 16:53:24

I know someone who has had cirrhosis for 20 years. I'd say he has alot more time than you are anticipating/worried about! TBH does not sound 'end stage' to me.

Don't worry (hard I know) as there is nothing you can do about it.

He'll certainly be admitted to hospital first. flowers

How old is he?

SpoonBlender Thu 13-Feb-20 17:02:11

Could be years, could be tomorrow. Diabetes is more likely to get him than the cirrhosis, to be honest - he won't manage it while drinking. It's slow and horrible.

Shannith Thu 13-Feb-20 18:09:49

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. If he carries on drinking then yes, he will die and I'd say soon rather than many years.

I'm an alcoholic in recovery. This time last year I had my final (after multiple previous) admission for cirrhosis and advanced liver disease.

What very nearly killed me was a massive internal bleed because my stomach was destroyed by booze. If he has ascites- very swollen abdomen- this is dangerous and means his liver is packing up.

It sounds like he is at the end stage I'm afraid.

I still have cirrhosis, and always will but I managed through AA to stop drinking and a year on from having a DNS placed on me by my liver consultant am now almost like a "normal" person.

I am so lucky I stopped drinking. If I'd have carried on I was given months at best.

It's a dreadful, killer illness. I know that my family, my brother in particular, got great comfort and support from Al Anon - especially when my death from alcoholism looked imminent.

There may be nothing you can do now but perhaps talking to people who have been/are going through the same thing may bring you some relief. Al Anon and indeed AA an help make some sense and peace in the face of this baffling, cruel, Linley disease.

Wishing you and your father peace.

Shannith Thu 13-Feb-20 18:11:31

Lonely.

Chinks123 Thu 13-Feb-20 18:17:18

Sorry op I don’t know the answer to your question, but know what it’s like to mourn someone that’s still alive. My dad is an alcoholic and I know I will get that phone call one day, it’s a horrible feeling. flowers

Gwilt160981 Thu 13-Feb-20 18:19:18

I lost my mom to this sinister disease. We found out of the may 2014 after my dad died she had it. Then come the August after mom fell and broke her hip we were told her liver wasn't responding to treatment. They said something about 12months, she passed away the march 2015, 51 weeks after my dad. It was so heartbreaking to watch her fade away and deteriorate. With you dad just make each day count. You'll have different days. I felt like my mom didn't recognise me towards the end because of the confusion, she even forgot that my dad passed away. It truly is soul destroying. Have you got a good support network?

iamyourequal Thu 13-Feb-20 20:58:38

You posted similar in November and another poster directed you to the Liver Trust. Were they not able to give you the professional advice and information to help you? I’m afraid I can’t add anything of much help as my family member with cirrhosis is at an earlier stage, but has had diabetes for years, and kidney disease, but keeps plodding on (thankfully).

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