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What is one to do??

(4 Posts)
Thewayforward Sat 07-Dec-19 19:29:55

DH long history of high alcohol consumption. He admitted to being an alcoholic some years ago, got help and returned to his old self. History is now repeating itself. He is completely in denial however came a cropper a few days ago when after I accused him of drink driving, low and behold the police arrived to arrest him for this exact thing. I have recently an a big operation so was unaware of all of this until I heard a car pull off the driveway looked out the window and saw it was the police. He said that someone had reported him and were following this up. He said that he tested him and he was fine, when I asked if he showed positive for any, he replied rather curtly 'it was fine. He blatantly looked drunk though. Email to inclusion found later that day asking for help? Further email received from them yesterday however all record of contact has now been deleted?? Why would you not just admit you have a problem again given the history and why delete the emails as of he does not want me to see them??? Blatantly been drinking again today.

I have tried Al anon but found it was really not my cup of tea.

OP’s posts: |
bluejelly Sat 07-Dec-19 19:41:16

I don't think you can have a long-term relationship with an alcoholic. It's tough but unless he wants to change and actually does it, there is nothing you can do but live your best life. Personally I would leave.

Thewayforward Sat 07-Dec-19 20:02:15

Have contemplated this numerous times but worry about effect on children etc. Fundamentally he is not a bad person and works hard. It is not a toxic household to the children as I only broach the subject of his drinking when he is sober and the children are not around therefore to them nothing is wrong.

I have thought about contacting police to see exactly what his levels were and what was said but unsure if they would/could tell me even though I am his wife

OP’s posts: |
bluejelly Wed 11-Dec-19 21:06:30

Children don't necessarily suffer if their parents separate. For many it's a relief.
And you are definitely suffering in the current set up thanks

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