Cirrhosis of the liver.. the end is near

[Brokentoday]

To cut a long story short, my father has cirrhosis of the liver - has had it for many years now...

The last time I saw him was july 2017, Showed all the typical symptoms, lost of appetite, bloating, swollen feet, black stool, prominent veins, vomiting blood, loss of memory. Has sleep apnea as hes not breathing properly at night, has a breathing machine which he never uses.. Now is a diabetic also has high blood pressure... he has been extremely secretive about everything being admitted into hospital and discharging himself shit like that. Wont tell anyone anything, just says he is fine - when clearly he is not.

He is STILL continuing to drink... he has a job now but I dont understand how he is holding it down, claims he drink less now because of the job. Hmm.

I moved up north in 2014 started my family all my family all down south. Hes coming to see me for xmas for a few days with rules put in place as Its really difficult for me to agree to see him or not, because of the drinking. I wont go down south with all the kids it's too much for me right now so I am allowing him to come up, at this point hes not going to stop drinking so I want him to get the chance to see the grandchildren before anything happens. My partner is supportive and understanding about this situation..

What has really broken me is when we was organising this he told me he will be bringing some paperwork for me sign for his will he went on to say he has x amount of money and wants to split it between me and my brother, so if anything where to happen then we have money for his funeral and the grandkids...

I asked him is there anything he wants to tell me he said no... my parents are the kind of people if anything is wrong they wont say as he doesnt want me to worry..
Can anyone shed some light who has experience with cirrhosis? Ive done tons if Google search it just doesnt look great at all..

I think hes coming to end and knows it..

I'm heartbroken.

[giggly]

I’m really sorry for both and your father. Sounds like his liver has decompensated which just means that it is past the point of being able to repair itself.
As you’ll no doubt be aware that it’s very unlikely that he will not drink when visiting but will probably not even be able to drink very much before it physically hurts. So I guess if that’s your starting point and expectation then you’ll not be disappointed.
He is at least talking about his will which in the event of his death takes away any wrangling or additional stress for your family.
My advice would to be make some special memories for your dad and dc this Christmas. I made a collage of photos for a terminally ill relative of my dc me and them over the years which they loved. It was returned to me in their passing and is very special to me.
Unfortunately liver cirrhosis can linger on for some time and be very unpleasant for the individual and frightening for those watching.
Again I’m sorry for your heartbreak

[BritishLiverTrust]

Hello, this is Lois from the British Liver Trust here.

I'm very sorry to hear about your father.

You may have heard of The British Liver Trust already through your Google search, but I thought I'd get in touch to let you know that you don't have to go through this alone.

We have a nurse-led helpline on 0800 652 7330 between 10am and 2.45pm Monday to Friday (not bank holidays) or email [email protected] (emails can be sent at any time and are answered during helpline hours).

There is also an online forum where you can hear from others in a similar situation on Health Unlocked: healthunlocked.com/britishlivertrust

I hope this helps. Take care of yourself.

[BendyLikeBeckham]

That is very kind of you Lois to signpost the OP to the Trust's services.

MN at it's best.

OP, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. You can't make him open up, or stop drinking, but I'm sure you know this. Just manage as best you can, that is all you can do. I'm sure he knows you love and care about him. Your DC will have a memorable Christmas this year if he does visit. Take lots of photos.

[Brokentoday]

Thank you

Giggly - That is a fantastic idea, I will most defiantly create as much memories as I can with him this xmas.

Bendylikebeckham - Thank you very much for message.

Britishlivertrust - No idea this was available thank you, I will most defiantly be using the helpline.

Thanks again for all your support. Xxx