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Trying to cut out mid week drinking, anyone in ?

(38 Posts)
LittlefairyMum Mon 20-May-19 14:43:18

I've developed a really bad habit of drinking during the week and I need to stop!
I've had an extremely rough couple of years but in the last 6 months my drinking has been creeping up and up to a bottle of wine a night, most nights, some weeks it's been every night confused

I may be kidding myself here but I've never been in this position before of needing to 'control' my drinking.

Before I decided to give up completely ( or am forced to blush) I want to give ' control' a go. I know I probably sound pathetic to some of you ' in the know ' but I'm going to try this first ( I really love my wine and don't want to stop completely...if at all possible 🙈)

Has anyone managed this or am I kidding myself?

Also, Anyone in ?

OP’s posts: |
LittlefairyMum Mon 20-May-19 14:45:55

Decide not decided hmm

OP’s posts: |
Bananas87 Mon 20-May-19 15:05:29

Sounds good, I was drinking not a bottle a night but a glass most nights, and a few on weekend. Honestly couldn't think of a more rubbish challenge than to stop drinking, because I BLOOMING loved a glass of wine. Then we all have eachother challenges for lent and I gave up alcohol. Turns out it was massively affecting my moods, more than likely the cause for my anxiety and horrific PMT.
Now lent is over, I just don't enjoy it, the taste is odd and it made my head feel funny which I really didn't enjoy.
I love to have alcohol fee lagers in, so I am not missing out in the situations where a drink is nice. For example when you are having a BBQ in the sunshine.
Honestly I recommend trying to cut it out for a week or 2, you will probably notice huge benefits in areas you didn't know it was affecting you.

Give it a go! All the best smile

LittlefairyMum Mon 20-May-19 16:10:21

Thanks for replying.

It didn't cross my mind about getting in some non alcoholic drinks, that's a great idea.

I'm kinda new to MN and only REALLY realised what a slippery slope I was going down when I came across this section yesterday blush

I'm sick confusedconfusedconfused
...But very grateful at the same time.

I'm going on holiday in two weeks so my plan is to try to get back to my 'normal' drinking by then.
The deal I've made with myself is if I find I'm struggling or I can't, to give up completely ( when I come home wink)

It never occurred to me it might be a difficult habit to break but reading through some of these threads have terrified me.
I was stupid to let it get this bad but one way or the other it needs to stop.

Well done on giving up completely.
Stories like yours are making me want to too, thanks smile

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Canshopwillshop Mon 20-May-19 16:25:03

Come on over to the Tryers to be Dryers thread. You’ll find lots of like-minded people and support on there.

Bananas87 Mon 20-May-19 18:42:37

Don't feel bad for letting it get to this stage, it's so easily done. It becomes a habit and it's socially acceptable no one bats an eyelid. We are constantly told smoking is bad and encouraged to stop, but drinking... I would say it's expected sometimes, the amount of memes and jokes about mums drinking. Great on you for recognising it.
The reason I took on the challenge was because the idea of not drinking for 40 days sounded horrid and filled me with anxiety.
And don't be surprised to find you don't miss it xx
Oooh I may have a look too xx

bwyddda Mon 20-May-19 18:58:51

I'm in exactly the same position. I could have written your post. And today I've decided that I'm going to aim for 4 days off this week, and for a few weeks and then down to 5 days off etc.

I don't want to give up altogether. I really enjoy a glass of wine. But I really believe that I am now being detrimentally affected- my sleep, my energy, my patience blushsad so I have to cut down drastically before it becomes a real problem.

Mamabear12 Mon 20-May-19 21:02:16

I was in your position, having half a bottle most nights and maybe one day or two days a week max with no drinking. Sometimes I would drink 3/4 the bottle. I could see it was becoming a problem. It runs on my dads side, alcoholism. I was planning to cut back, but half way through a group holiday (where we drank daily - everyone was) I learned I was pregnant (via missed period, so luckily I found out as early as you can, my periods are clockwork). And I stopped drinking cold turkey. It was much easier having a big reason to stop. Some days I felt bored. But replaced it with lemon water or ice water. Dh offered me a taste of red wine when we were out for dinner and I truly did not want it and said no thanks. I’m hoping when I do eventually have a glass when the baby is here that I will stick to just special occasions or once a week max. Sometimes I think I probably should just stop all together now. Like I did with smoking during my first pregnancy. I never took that habit back up and it’s been 8 years.

LittlefairyMum Tue 21-May-19 08:59:12

@Can Thank you! I was a little intimidated as you all seem to know each other and I don't know the acronyms yet 🙈😂

@Bananas87 agreed! ' Wine o Clock' is practically encouraged. Last night was my first night without wine in weeks! I had to turn off the TV as the amount of ads about alcohol was giving me anxiety 🤣
I never even noticed this before 😱
I was using it to sleep and found myself drinking more and more. The worse my life got the more I deserved a nights sleep ( or so I told myself)

@bwyddda same! How did last night go ? Or is it tonight you're starting ?
Re sleep, what I did was look at tips from all the specialist clinics yesterday and implemented their recommendations last night...
Cleaned my room, new bedsheets etc, herbal tea (yuk! I fecking hate ANY tea !) but desperate times and all that ! A boring book, rain sounds, no screen time for an hour before bed etc etc
I smugly thought, I've got this !
I went to bed at 10 and was still rolling around the bed at 3 😴
Today I give up caffeine 🙈😭
I'm a total coffee whore so that's nearly a worse thought than giving up wine.
I had one coffee and I'm on the decaf for the rest of today.
I drink 8/10 coffees a day, every day, for years... so I'm really being challenged here 🙈

@Mamabear12 congratulations 🎊
When are you due ?
Yes, I agree it's much easier to give up for pregnancy.
Sure see how you feel but reading threads on here was a real eye opener for me. I always thought there's no way I would give up my wine completely! My DS is in AA years, very successfully . I compared my drinking to hers and felt like an Angel. I knew I was drinking over my units though and lately smashing them but because I wasn't getting drunk ( 1 bottle of wine over 4 hours with lots of ice ) I smugly convinced myself I was fine !
I'm not.

I'm dreading tonight and no wine already but I'm going for it 💪🏻

OP’s posts: |
bwyddda Tue 21-May-19 11:40:10

I went without last night and was bored. Tv isn't as interesting(of course it's not any more interesting with wine, but I'm more wound down, or zoned out I guess) . I slept terribly too, but think that's a reflection of losing a crotch so will carry on and hope tonight is better.

Im not even thinking about giving up caffeine until I have formed the habit of not drinking regularly, I fear that for me, taking on too many "give ups" at once will lead to too much pressure and short rather than long term change.

It's alarming how much I notice not drinking. It throws onto light that I am more dependent than I thought.

Mamabear12 Tue 21-May-19 12:33:32

Let us know how you get on with the no drinking. I think the first few days are tough and you get bored. As its always more interesting to watch a movie with a glass of wine, or cook with a glass of wine etc. But just make new habits. I admit, I had an easy way out with the pregnancy as no doubt about it in my mind no option to drink, so won't dwell on it. But when I was not pregnant for example I went 6 days with out drinking (this is when I was planning to reduce my drinking) and the first couple days were hard, mostly bc I didn't know what to do with myself.

I think the best way is to do some things that don't involve drinking the first few nights. One night go to the movies. Do you have any friends that do not drink? Another night you can plan to go for a walk with a friend if weather is nice and don't drink. Or out for dinner without drinking (but make sure you are with someone who is not drinking). I am hoping my DH will do his month with out drinking, like he said he would now that I am not drinking. The liver needs a break from drinking to heal.

desperatesux Tue 21-May-19 12:38:32

Yes I used to do this many years ago. I now only drink on the weekends, less two maybe 3/4 a night. The first week was really hard but I realised it was just a habit and I wanted to break it before it wasn't just that as I knew I would find it extremely difficult to give up full time
I remember reading there is a big difference between someone who just drinks too much and someone who is an alcoholic as an alcoholic cannot cut down. First week I just didn't drink Monday and Tuesday, second, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and the third Monday Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday. Now it wouldn't even enter my head to have a drink on a say Wednesday night. I still really enjoy and look forward to my Friday night drinks (probably too much) but I have at least 4-5 alcohol free nights a week so feel I can drink guilt free when I do without the dreads of calculating how much I have drunk that week. This too is coming from someone who couldn't remember a night in 3 years when I hadn't had wine. its now been about 15 years since I drank nightly.

user1483387154 Tue 21-May-19 12:38:57

I'm in ! I started on sunday

LittlefairyMum Tue 21-May-19 20:37:45

@bwyddda here's your sister I missed being zoned out and wound down in bed last night.
Even though I was wrecked my mind was so alert...I hated it.

It's one thing having problems and worries, it's quite another being on the same level as them.

@Mamabear12 Wow! 6 days off , that's like a dream to me right now.
I really hope your DH gives up too. My XH didn't really drink.
I know I would have found it's more difficult not to mention very irritating if he was drinking while I was pregnant.
Not in the home at least!
We give up so much when we're pregnant anyway.
Hopefully he sticks to his word.

I don't get out much TBH so drinking with friends isn't an issue.
I think that's why I increased my drinking too.
It gets very boring sitting alone every night.
I might look into changing that 

@desperatesux 15 years! You hero!
I wish I had thought of your 'system' but I didn't so I'm stuck with mine  although I just might aim for Thursday night, instead of my original plan of Friday.
I may have been too ambitious with the limits of my will power, first week in.

@user1483387154 welcome aboard smile
How are you managing?

The reason I'm majorly cutting back on the caffeine is because I know I won't sleep on my usual amount ( minus wine )

I tasted decaf from SB a few months ago ( by mistake) and was shocked as it tasted exactly the same.

I use SB coffee at home so I substituted my normal bag of Sumatra for decaf. I honestly didn't notice the difference (in taste ) the past two days. I feel a lot more tired...which is a good thing at bed time. If only I could actually sleep!
Here's hoping for tonight.

I'm thinking if I'm going to do this, sleep ( and wine ) is more important to me, than caffeinated coffee 

I got a shock this morning.
I was saying I changed my bed last night...
I'd bought a set of White and Green bed linen on sale in HOF a while ago.
I was keeping them up for a special occasion AKA, A new Man 🤣
That hasn't happened so I stuck them on last night, delighted with my life.

This morning they were disgusting!
Soaked in tan and sweat.
I haven't put tan on in a couple of days, that proved to me how much I was sweating.
I'm disgusted with myself.
I needed to do this.
Back to old bedsheets tonight, hopefully that's the last of the toxins too blush

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Mamabear12 Tue 21-May-19 22:33:04

I love clean bedsheets. Hopefully you won’t have to change them again. But it’s alwys nice having clean fresh sheets. Baths are another luxury I love. Make a list of things that make you feel good and do them daily!

icanhearapindrop Tue 21-May-19 22:40:48

I downloaded the ‘drinkfreedays’ app, which is very simple. I’m a sucker for a ‘dare’ so it has worked for me amazingly! Over the last 4 weeks, I have gone from drinking daily, to two or three evenings a week. I now struggle with hangovers since starting the app, which I never got before, so that has helped too!

LittlefairyMum Tue 21-May-19 23:11:40

@Mamabear12 You can't beat it! These were a real treat for me and a bargain.

I nearly died when I woke up in damp sheets.
Says allot though...
I don't have a bath anymore,unfortunately. I'd kill for my bath back.
A list is a good idea, thanks.
I bought myself some nice hot chocolate today as a treat.
I'd never usually do that as I'd be counting the wine calories, not to mention the shit I'd think would be a great idea to eat once wine was onboard 🙈
I can treat myself a little now.

@icanhearapindrop you're exactly where I want to be.
I don't suffer from hangovers either but noticed after I went back on wine post pregnancy's, I got them too.
I found they settled back down when I built up a tolerance again.
And I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing TBH confused
I'll download the app, thanks smile

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bwyddda Wed 22-May-19 09:28:05

Night two was far easier for me, though, when does sleep go back to normal?!! I'm tossing and turning and in a sort of half sleep. Up at 6 hmmshocksad

I used the £7 I'd usually spend on wine on books from a charity shop yesterday. Got three books that I'm really interested in reading. Getting back into reading a good book did wonders for the boredom.

bwyddda Wed 22-May-19 09:31:33

Little- I got hangovers after pregnancy and gradually "got over" them.

I've always been sort of proud of my tolerance for alcohol and not getting hangovers, which thinking about it reflectively is very distorted, and really illustrates how our culture and sub conscious regards heavy drinking. It's normalised and a point of pride blushno one wants to be a "lightweight" but really- that's a reflection of a normal healthy relationship with alcohol.

LittlefairyMum Wed 22-May-19 10:21:49

@bwyddda Well done! Me too re night two.
I got 6 hours sleep. This is unheard of for me. I feel like a new woman!

I downloaded the app 'Dry days' as suggested by icanhearapindrop.
It's good!
I'm 14 units down and it shows how many calories I've saved and money.

I'm loving not having to buy wine every day. It was getting embarrassing! blush
I was going out of my way so my local shop wouldn't think I was a dipso grin
I feel free !
My mood has lifted too.

Who knew all The experts were right eh !

I'm tracking my sleep on my Fitbit.
How much sleep did you get?

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LittlefairyMum Wed 22-May-19 10:27:23

@bwyddda I'm almost 3/4 way through the book I started on Monday night.
I choose a boring enough book ( I think they recommend nothing too exciting )

I'm enjoying it though (kinda) hopefully when my sleep is better I can pick books that I really want to read.
I have good books on my phone but I'm terrified that the ' blue light' will hinder my sleeping.

We're getting there smile

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user1483387154 Wed 22-May-19 11:52:53

Craving a drink today ....day 4. but want to stay alcohol free till Friday. Finding it strange in the evenings like I don't know what to do with myself.

How is everyone doing?

LittlefairyMum Wed 22-May-19 12:45:37

@user1483387154 day four is amazing!

Keep going smile ( easy for me to say, I'm only day three)
I haven't had cravings yet but I'm with you on the not knowing what to do with myself.
My latest idea is to buy a second hand 🚲 and try up my fitness, hopefully wearing me out a bit too.

I'm very proud of us all thanks

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LittlefairyMum Wed 22-May-19 13:25:15

Actually that's a big fat lie confused
I switched on a Netflix Series I'm watching last night, I would have killed for a glass of wine!
I always have a glass in my hand when I'm settled down watching this. I switched it off, called my DM.
The craving passed.

I'll leave watching that again until I'm 'allowed' wine grin
Maybe I would have craved it anyway but the association didn't do me any favors...

How quickly you forgot! blush
It passed though and that's the main thing!

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icanhearapindrop Wed 22-May-19 20:06:36

I’m glad the app is helping LittleFairy. It does hit home a bit when you see the money and calories saved. I think once you’re over the first cravings it gets so much easier, especially as that’s when my hangovers seemed to start! I have decided not to restrict myself to only be allowed to drink at say, the weekend, but try to break it up through the week a bit. It might not work for everyone, but I find it easier to get through doing it that way.
Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly though!

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