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What to tell people?(12 Posts)
Hi everyone, this is my first post on the alcohol support board, and today also marks 3 months since I last drank alcohol. Prior to stopping, I would drink around 4-6 bottles of wine a week, and hadn't gone more than 2 weeks sober since the age of 18 (I'm 29).
I made the decision to take a break from alcohol, initially for a month, because my mental health was taking a nosedive and I felt near suicidal. After the month was up, I decided to carry on staying alcohol-free because I felt so much better for it. I sleep better, am more productive, and most importantly I don't feel depressed anymore.
There is a big social event coming up at work, and my colleagues have been asking me if I'll be breaking my "detox." I have said no, and fobbed them off with excuses revolving around a fitness plan. I would rather they did not know the truth about my history of depression, because it is my private business that only my family know about.
Today, I was asked about it again (for the umpteenth time) and jokes were made about how I'll "give in as soon as I clap eyes on the bar" and so on. I laughed along, but really I felt uncomfortable about it. I really, really do not want to drink again - because I know that one drink will not be enough. I will get plastered, and I will be back to square one.
What can I say to make people understand I am serious?
Can you tell them the truth, or are you not comfortable doing so? Not about the depression but that you are a recovering alcoholic?
For your good friends maybe just be honest and tell them you're a recovering alcoholic and really need their understanding and support rather than goady jokes. For less close friends, just smile and imagine telling them to fuck off. You've done so well to come this far, don't let the silly comments of others undermine you.
How well do they know you? Could you be in training for a marathon.
Well done for stopping, it feels so good doesnt it. Completely get what youre saying about mood too. I say to people “no thanks i don’t drink” and if they press me I say “it didn’t/doesn’t suit me” and move the conversation on. Keep it simple. No need to elaborate.
Well done for 3 months! I’m coming up 6 months and have just told everyone the truth- not that I’m an alcoholic, because I don’t think labels are useful - but that I was drinking too much and needed a break and feel that much better for it that I’m sticking with it.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone though. Say what you like
Just say you've been feeling a lot better/healthier since you've given up booze and you don't want to go backwards. That way you're telling the truth without telling them your personal history. Say you like the way you feel now
These are my colleagues, and we only socialise together at work related things. My close friends (outside of work) know the truth, and have been amazingly supportive. It felt like a weight off my shoulders when I told them why I wasn't drinking.
I suppose, for the works party I could just say I've lost my tolerance for it?
My daughter's about your age and used to love to go out and have a drink. She's gone into very clean food and yoga now and doesn't drink at all. She finds people accept that as a reason for not drinking when if she said she didn't want to have a drink, she never came back sober.
Yoga really helped her depression, too. Might it be worth a try?
Thankyou for the support, by the way! I have also been reading some of the other threads and have a lot of admiration for the posters who have been so honest about their experiences.
I was a binge drinker for about 15 years and many people refused to believe/accept that I'd stopped drinking (and felt much happier for it). I would worry about other people's reactions and feel uncomfortable 'flaunting' my sobriety. Then I realised after they'd had 1 or 2 drinks, they really didn't care too much what I was doing. It soon became a non-issue.
Enjoy your new found freedom!
I think I'll go with the suggestion of saying that I feel healthier since I stopped and don't want to go backwards. Its the truth, afterall. I honestly have no idea why I've worried so much. It seems daft now
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