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Recovering Alcoholic 'pacing herself'

(5 Posts)
wheresmycake Tue 24-Oct-17 21:50:19

My DSis lost her job a few months ago after going in with alcohol on her breath and was hospitalized when she collapsed with liver damage. She moved back in with our parents. They say she told them she doesn't need to go to AA or other support group (she had apparently been going before she moved back in with parents) and when grocery shopping with DM she bought 2 mini bottles of wine so 'she is clearly pacing herself ' because there's not much in them. Also that when they go out (parents go to a ballroom dance club that has a bar on social nights) she always dilutes her wine... Is this sensible or a slippery slope? If so, what is realistic from us ? She is an adult so noone can force her to do anything - do we just wait and support in case of a crisis? I live about 3hours away so can't be much practical help but I do worry. Sorry about the length if you made it this far...

Hiphopopotamus Tue 24-Oct-17 21:52:17

Regardless of any schools of thought as to whether alcoholics can moderate their drinking, if her liver state was bad enough to be hospitalised, she is physically not in a fit state to drink any alcohol at all. Unfortunately unless she realises this herself, there is nothing you can do

wheresmycake Tue 24-Oct-17 21:56:48

Thanks - that's pretty much what I thought. My parents don't have the healthiest relationship with alcohol themselves (tho I don't think they are addicted) so I wasn't sure whether to trust their judgement re moderation

MissConductUS Fri 03-Nov-17 22:02:14

Drinking as an alcoholic does will actually change your brain chemistry:

Molecular Basis of Alcoholism

Your neurochemistry adapts to the presence of alcohol. That's what makes it hard to quit. Someone who got to her state should never drink again. She'll simply reset her brain back to addicted mode.

tribpot Fri 03-Nov-17 22:10:34

She has relapsed.

Even if she could ultimately learn to drink moderately (I don't believe this is possible myself but hypothetically) she would need to give her liver time to recover and think extremely carefully about when to drink and how to control her drinking.

I suspect she is drinking in secret and the mini bottles of wine are a cover in case someone smells alcohol on her.

There's nothing you can do until she's ready to see help. But if your parents are enabling her, I would let them know they are not helping.

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