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Best advice from dry drunks?

(4 Posts)
LadyBericote Sat 29-Jul-17 02:33:45

My ex is behind bars for five months and so is thankfully off the booze. (Let's hope he stays off the Black Mamba!)

He's quit before for three years as he almost died - wasn't meant to see the day out. He's also been locked up before. And he's lost three children from two relationships.

I don't know what his rock bottom is.

He's written to me today saying he knows he has to give up. (He's admitted for years and years he has a problem and he's well aware he does need to give up but finds it hard).

I was browsing on here the other day and heard about this book by Jason Vale which a lot of people on here - and Amazon - seem to swear by. I ordered it for him.

Any more advice from someone who is successfully living their life as a dry alcoholic? I said I'll support him by going to every AA meeting he wants to go to, that he'll always have my shoulder, that he should set himself goals based on his ambitions for when he comes out. He's so bright and intelligent - it's such a waste.

I'm also going to go to Al Anon as I know I've enabled him in the past but no more after such a long spate away from the stuff.

I spoke to AA the other night and while the lady was helpful saying the best thing her family did for her was to walk away, with him he's been street homeless, with not a person in the world to turn to. The government today seems to me to want to keep people like him down. I've made all these phone calls for him to help him back on his feet (which I do know is enabling) but it seems there is no joined up approach. Or am I looking in all the wrong places. Any advice appreciated as he's such a bright, intelligent guy and way too young to die. I haven't been so spurred on to do so much until today when he wrote in black and white he knows he has to give up.

MrsOverTheRoad Sat 29-Jul-17 09:12:48

Often people like your ex have all the good intentions when they are in prison and because theyre lonely, they write to people on the outside making all kinds of claims.

If he's your ex, while I understand your desire to help him I would stay well away. If he wants to recover he will do it whether you help or not.

bibbertybobbityboo Sat 14-Oct-17 07:34:46

I am 4 years sober after reading the Jason Vale book, but he would have to WANT to read it and he would have to read it with an open mind, hope he does, if he puts off reading it- you have your answer really as it will prove he doesn’t really want to stop
Good luck

lovemylover Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:07

I have posted on another thread about tjis book, my son has been in rehab, but the day he came out bought a bottle of w3ine,he didnt like the rehab he was in as it was about god and a higher power, and hes an aetheist,and to be honest it sounded very bullying,
I am going to send for this book, and hope it works,
He looks much better since being in rehab, and needs to really try to kick this habit
I would be interested if anyone else has been helped in any way,or success stories
Thanks for reading

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