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Addicted to wine

(45 Posts)
BlueVelvett Thu 16-Feb-17 14:53:43

I posted this in General Health, but I think this place is more appropriate.
I have to seriously cut down on my wine consumption. I can't just have one or two glasses, I have to have the whole bottle and now even that isn't enough. I drink a bottle of wine most nights. I'm fed up of feeling crap all the time - constantly tired and lethargic, not sleeping properly, being overweight, not functioning properly. When I drink wine, I love how it makes me feel, I almost feel euphoric. I always feel dreadful though the next day and vow to cut down, but I can't stop. I'm really worried about the effect it's having on my health and also about my long term, heavy drinking triggering an early menopause, as I have read that this is possible. Has anyone had success with seriously cutting down or stopping their alcohol consumption? How did your life change after you cut down on your drink? I could really use some advice inspiration. Thank you.

Timeforabiscuit Thu 16-Feb-17 15:01:43

By how your describing alcohol in your life, it sounds like you need some proper formal counselling rather than some tales from the internet.

There are some medical options which can be taken alongside counselling to help with stopping drinking.

Unfortunately, i have only horror stories of people not tackling it - so you get massive congrats from me in recognising a problem and getting help smile

ILoveCheeseMoreThanYou Thu 16-Feb-17 15:43:05

I could have written your post! Getting pregnant is the only thing that has helped me unfortunately and it terrifies me that I'll slip back into my bad habits once the baby is born. I personally blame the boredom and loneliness and I think forcing myself to do things in the evening out of the house helps. Now the cycle is broken the times I spend thinking about booze get further and further apart. But fuck me I'd love a glass of wine!

backtowork2015 Thu 16-Feb-17 21:39:43

It's a habit. Take 1 whole month off, it's not forever. You will sleep better and feel fresher. Once you have the first day done the second will be easier, once the first weekend is done the second will be easier. Then decide if you'd like to drink socially. But you need a proper break to Re evaluate your drinking

didsnbump Mon 20-Feb-17 00:15:36

I'm the same BlueVelvett. I drink a bottle every night and more if there is. But I find as long as I haven't stayed up late, I'm right as rain in the morning. When I have nights off I cant sleep and am shattered the next day. I even managed two years ago to loose two stone while still enjoying a bottle every other night as I was running or going to the gym most days and felt fab. I''sve gained the weight again but that because I've not had the time to run as I've gone back to university to a degree x'

PureConcentratedEvil Tue 28-Feb-17 22:47:04

I have noticed that my consumption has increased (same as you describe) and I have decided to quite for Lent.

I am quite excited about being sober for six weeks.

PureConcentratedEvil Tue 28-Feb-17 22:48:01

Quit, not "quite"
Haven't started yet. grin

frillyknickers25 Tue 28-Feb-17 23:12:34

Well done on recognising that you have a problem. I would reach out to a professional.
I've stopped drinking completely 5. years ago as I started like you and it escalated (two bottles or more and incidences of memory loss) and never looked back. For me it was about identifying what was it that I was so keen on numbing with booze. Turned out I was unfulfilled and unhappy about my life in general and simply haven't acknowledged issues from my past (broken marriage, patchy family relations, sense of not being fulfilled) Started seeing a life coach first, stopped drinking and committed to an open ended abstinence (I.e. I a, it drinking for a foreseeable future) and most importantly started posing questions:
What I want my life to be in 5 years time. What will my life look like if I continue drinking. What do I choose?
I chose to invest in life and realised that booze was in the way. So booze went. It was really hard at the beginning as I realised how much I relied on it for that euphoria you are talking about. I never did AA but I did explore it - just didn't work for me. I did some group talk therapy - it was very sobering experience (if you forgive the pun) purely because 1. I got to see people who did not stop and were 10 years ahead of me in the drinking game and still struggling so it was like a window to my future 2. I felt I was not in it alone.
I also owned up to my close friends and told them I could no longer drink with them. Vast majority was incredibly supportive and somewhat relieved that I addressed the problem they could see.
I also did lots of self development courses where I was really focussed on creating my life rather than reacting to life so that there was no space for alcohol in it, which worked for me better than focussing on "not drinking" if that makes sense.
5 years later, I don't drink, I bought my first property and I'm in a relationship, 5 weeks away to giving birth to my first baby. Also my careeer skyrocketed as I was suddenly present, motivated and free of shame which I felt so keenly every day after drinking. For completeness, I probably lapsed 4 times in the first year - that was fine but I had a support by then and commitment to communicate honestly about lapses so I would not let the secrecy to feed shame and guilt.

Key thing is, now you know it's an issue for you, open up about what you're dealing with. Seek and allow support. Focus on what it is that you want (not just what you don't want). be kind to yourself. Research local support either through NHS or privately. And tell your friends.

Hope this helps a little.

FuckyNell Wed 01-Mar-17 07:46:49

Excellent post frillyknickers

dementedma Wed 01-Mar-17 07:52:23

Hi all. The Brave Babes threads on the relationships board await you. There is a whole group of us there who could have written the Ops post. You will find endless support and no judging. Come and join us on our journey to reduced alcohol consumption.

Nomadali44 Wed 01-Mar-17 21:02:19

Hi BlueVelvett,

I am another who has been in your shoes and in my case I am the result of what can happens if you put off seeking professional help at 1 bottle and yet can't find the inner strength or willpower that others talk about.

I thought I could do it myself, talked myself into thinking one bottle wasn't a valid reason to ask for help and that I could do it myself like all the others who managed use the tools and help that forums offered.

Unfortunately, my way of dealing with the failure of not being able to stop even though I'd tried the forum was to accept it was a failure and give it to the drink.

At 2 bottles a night I knew it was escalating any affecting more aspects of my life. I stopped social drinking, cut myself off from my friends, lost my job and fell into depression, with drinking my only relief but also the cause of it all!!

At 3 bottles I knew I had to do something and thought I was now a fully fledged alcoholic. I asked for help from the local service and that was in May last year. I heard nothing back so carried on realising but ignoring the problem. In September I got to that point again where I knew I had to chase up my request for help and insist that I was desperate for help right now. That resulted in a promised call back that day which never happened.

Since that phone call in September I have had 3 sessions with the service and I have had to forcefully tell them I want to quit now! They have been no support whatsoever but at 3 bottles I have to stop!,

Please seek the extra help now at one bottle even if you're using the forums. I hope my experience is not the norm but I definitely left it too late to seek professional help to the detriment of my physical and mental health.

Even at one bottle, you may benefit from prescribed strong vitamin B and Thiamine. You won't know this without seeking help from a doctor or dedicated service.

I only drink Cava or Prosecco sometimes lager. I have other wine and spirits in the house which have sat there for years, I don't touch them and that's why I and others didn't see my problem (and still don't)

I wish you happiness and success in whichever path you take but please don't let it get past 2 bottles, you'll be surprised how quickly know it can escalate. Please feel free to pm me. X

laahbaah Sat 04-Mar-17 15:37:53

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Expat38matt Thu 30-Mar-17 07:12:24

Just wondered how you're doing op ? Am in same boat as you! Am often surprised I've chuffed a whole bottle in short time and still sober!
Recently have realized I've had a few before hubby gets home (maybe 8pm) and I'm slurring already when he gets in
Have also started stealth drinking so he can't see I've done a bottle (eg opening two so it looks like I've just had half! Also sneaking bottles upstairs and drinking when I come up randomly throughout the night)
Clearly not normal I know
Don't know how to stop
Not sure I can admit to DH it's now an issue though I'm sure it wouldn't be a huge shock

longtermsinglemummy Thu 30-Mar-17 13:32:47

I came on here to post something almost identical to what has been written here. The bottle a night is creeping up to 1.5. I'm 43 and in the menopause already. I'm on anti-depressants and have very low self esteem. I want to cut back and be able to just have a glass every now and again, but I don't seem to be able to moderate my drinking, I don't have an off switch.

I have tried reading Jason Vale's book but it didn't really help, maybe I should try again.

Expat38matt Fri 31-Mar-17 03:22:34

Pouring a drink is the first thing I do when I get home from work. My husband likes a drink but has total self control and will mostly not drink in the week or at weekends if we have no plans. Whereas to me it has become a total habit and I can't even seem to be able to limit it to a few nights a week it's every night now and not just a glass or even two
I'm waking up hungover during the week and it's ridiculous
Hiding it is the worst thing and I know that has taken it to a new level
I have empty bottles hidden around the place that I've had upstairs
Also my husband often sleeps in the guest room as I've currently got a health issue that means I toss and turn all night so as not to disturb him but it gives me free reign to take a drink to bed with me.
I do just love wine though !!!
I've never told anyone this. Writing it makes me feel ashamed actually!

christmaswreaths Fri 31-Mar-17 08:42:26

I started to get that way too and that's why I went tee total - I am at day 32 now. I tried cutting in the week and was partially successful, except all I thought about was when I was going to let myself have wine. This is why I felt dependent. I also stopped being able to have just one. I don't know what changed because I always had a healthy relationship with wine. Personally it probably changed when I started to use wine as a way to relieve work stress.

Anyway, you can do it. Maybe you could start with cutting back in the week and see how you go. Be prepared for low moods and see if your husband will give you support, personally I found these boards the best support x

All the best of luck 🍀

longtermsinglemummy Sat 01-Apr-17 07:48:11

I surpassed myself last night. Almost 2 bottles.

It stops now 😐

vxa2 Sat 01-Apr-17 08:45:07

singlemummy flowers A year ago I was exactly where you are now. On 31 March 2016 I decided enough was enough and I self referred to my local drugs and alcohol service. I had tried and failed at moderation numerous times and I knew I needed to stop. Yesterday I celebrated a year sober. This last year has been really really hard but I am so glad I stopped when I did.

I think you need some professional input. There are medications which can be used to ease the process of stopping and then afterwards. Have you been to your GP? Remember you can often refer yourself to alcohol services - I picked up the phone and asked for help.

There is also a wonderful online support community. The Dry Board here is great - the support there is wonderful. I have a blog which has links to lots of other blogs and other stuff.

I also run a small group for women who have decided to go sober. I am in Birmingham if you would like to come. That invite includes anyone else here of course.

Please feel free to PM me and I will help in any way I can. X

vxa2 Sat 01-Apr-17 10:47:43

expatt you are really brave to share that. I did all those things and I thought I was really inventive until I found lots of other women who did exactly the same. I thought drinking wine out of a mug was good because my daughter would think it was tea confused

You can do this. X

Expat38matt Tue 04-Apr-17 01:59:45

Vxa2 yes to the wine in a mug ! Jeez

Thanks for the referrals I'm actually abroad but I'm sure there are services and I probably need to explore them

Trying not to wish I hadn't posted that!

Broken11Girl Tue 04-Apr-17 02:45:34

I'm drinking a bottle of wine or nearly most nights, more some nights eg plus 1 or 2 of those pre-mixed spirits cans.
I went to a local drug & alcohol service today. Didn't see myself as 'that type' but they took me on. Will be attending a group confused
I haven't told anyone irl.
Just wanted to join.

vxa2 Wed 05-Apr-17 19:05:47

Well done Broken that was really bravesmile it's huge step so be proud of yourself. Xxx

elisa2502 Wed 05-Apr-17 19:12:31

I drink a bottle a night. I'm a School teacher and the pressure means it is the only way I can unwind. I don't see it as a problem.

Broken11Girl Thu 06-Apr-17 00:14:45

Thanks vxa smile x

SuiteHarmony Thu 06-Apr-17 00:38:15

I'm here. Halfway through a bottle of red. I tell myself that I've done well making it to Wednesday hmm. I'm a single parent to four and when 10 o'clock comes, I can't wait to pop a cork. Wine is the only thing I drink. It makes me feel rotten the next day. It keeps me up. I stay up to drink. I see it all the wrong way - my treat, whereas my body would feel much more loved if I went to bed.

Yet here I am.

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