I phoned AA today

[threemoregoals]

I have spent years and years on the cycle of stopping/binging/moderating/failing. It's messing with my otherwise lovely life. I want to stop. I will miss the buzz and the pick me up after long days, I'll especially miss the fun first couple of hours of socialising, but it's costing me too much now, in too many ways.

I don't really fancy AA, I'm not a natural joiner and I'm fairly dubious about some of the thinking.... BUT I've tried everything else and I haven't made much progress. I heard someone on a podcast say she went to AA with the attitude 'how can I make this work for me?' and it did. So that's what I'm going to do.

I called today and had a very helpful conversation. Tomorrow I'm going to a meeting.
Has anyone got any experience of hesitantly going to AA and it working for them?

Thanks.

[Manumission]

No direct experience but just wanted to say well done. That can't have been easy.

[threemoregoals]

Thanks Manu. It's tasked years to be ready, but I suddenly am. I really want this to be the beginning of something else.

[vxa2]

Well done for taking that first step. Come on over to the Dry 15 thread. There are ladies there who go to AA, others who don't think it's for them but whatever, you will receive so much support there. I stopped drinking in March and I really wouldn't have been able to do it without the wonderful support there. X

[threemoregoals]

Thanks. I went today. It was good. I found some of the people very intense but there were some women who seemed pretty straightforward and nice. One gave me her number.
I'll go again.

[Goddessoftheduvet]

I go to AA and have just celebrated 7 years sober. It's not an easy thing to do, going to your first meeting, so well done!

It's worked very well for me, despite some similar reservations to you, and most importantly I've made some very deep friendships with other women which are just so helpful. We love and support each other.

One thing said to me in the early days was to take what you like and leave the rest.

It's not a cult, nor do you need to be religious in any way - but like any other organisation containing people, it has its problems. Stick with the women initially. PM me if you like - I'm happy to answer any questions. And so will the women you met at the meeting you went too.

You can do this.

[vxa2]

Goddess 7 years is amazing. I am nearing 200 days. I like your suggestion to take what you like and leave the rest.

Well done threemore it's great that you enjoyed the meeting.

[threemoregoals]

Hi, well I've done a week sober. I think that most be the most I've managed in 20 years. I've been to 3 meetings - I'm very hesitant - the meeting I went to last night was la bit scary, a lot of really sad stories of people having really horrible lives... a bit alienated, as my life is nice, I'm just struggling to stop drinking.
So far I'm enjoying mornings much more, and evenings much less. But a week is such early days, I'm just focussing on staying sober until after Christmas. I can assess whether it's working for me later.
One day at a time helps. So does your idea of taking what's useful and leaving the rest.
I see you said stick to the women - I do feel more comfortable talking to them.
Thanks for the support.

[threemoregoals]

I drank yesterday. Not as much as I normally would, but I managed to convince myself I wanted to... ugh. This is all so confusing.

[Goddessoftheduvet]

Finding you can't stop when you want to is one clue that things have got out of your control. My heart really goes out to you.

I too had a nice life (I'm a professional woman, masters degree etc etc) but alcoholism is no respector of class, income, profession or status. I only ever drank wine - and nice wine at that. Well, and gin. But I felt that didn't count!

AA is not the only possible help. If it's not for you, a bit of Googling will show you other services/support available in your area...but no-one can help unless you are ready to ask for help.

Hearing the 'low bottom drunk' stories can be terrifying, but I promise if you look you will find women just like you in AA. They understand, because it happened to them too.

[Littlemist]

I too have big problems with alcohol, with severe depression too, i have cut myself through desperation trying to get through to DWP to try and get help financially, because I cannot sustain a job. I would dearly like to work, but I also have Type 1 diabetes and prospective employers have a fear of this. I now have medication to try and help with the cravings, but it is so very hard, Sometimes, quite often really, I wonder if the struggle to stop drinking, the f....ing dependancy, the need and what giving up entails, is actually worth persevering. If there was a magic therapy it would be so good. It is shit totally shit, I shall never be normal. What the hell is wrong with me. I need help so badly xxx

[vxa2]

Littlemist come on over to the Dry 16 thread. There is lots of support there. X

[Schoolquestionz]

Littlemist - I'm type one too!

I'm really trying hard to cut down but for me if I have a few nights off I feel like it's a major achievement, have a night 'back on' and the cycle starts up again.

OR another thing I've tried recently is not drinking in the house and then 'saving it' for a night out. This worked quite well but I binge on the night out.

I don't know if it's the diabetes but I find the day after anything over say two large glasses difficult - my mood is affected massively. I look terrible. I feel ashamed.

I will say this here - there have been lots of times I've come in and been too drunk to take my insulin. That's scary to say out loud.

Thankfully I'm okay diabetes wise at the moment (hBa1c, eyes, etc).

I think in my heart I know I need to stop but I'd miss drinking so much. I love drinking. That sounds terrible.

I've had a night off tonight. It's been a struggle.