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DH has lost his job because of drink

(10 Posts)
lemonormelon Fri 09-Sep-16 14:00:19

DH didn't go to work today because he got drunk last night. Although he contacted them to make an excuse for his absence his employer has terminated his temporary contract. I'm unsurprised as it's his third absence in the six weeks he's been employed there.
I'm well aware that he has a problem with alcohol but last night he told me the extent of it. He admitted to drinking secretly every day recently, though never at work or before driving. I had no idea as he's always been a binge drinker and he hadn't appeared drunk.
He said he wants to get help to stop drinking. I told him I would be there for him and support him in his efforts to get control of his life again. However, I have previously warned him that if he lost his job because of his drinking then he would have to go.

What should I do now? Be supportive if he really wants to stop? Or stay true to my word and ask him to go? Either option could make his problem worse, but could also be what he needs to get better. I really don't know what is best for him and our family.
Any advice would be appreciated.

BastardGoDarkly Fri 09-Sep-16 14:04:19

Oh love, what a mess.

Personally, if I believed this was it and he wanted to stop (not just saying it to preempt you going mad about his job) then I'd try and help.

Saying that though, I don't know how this is affecting your and your children?

Dapplegrey1 Fri 09-Sep-16 14:05:42

Go to Al Anon. You will find help and support there from people who have had similar experiences.

lemonormelon Sat 10-Sep-16 08:09:01

Thanks for your advice. He decided to go to the pub yesterday to drown his sorrows. I guess that's the decision made for me.

LIZS Sat 10-Sep-16 08:17:15

sadthat resolve didn't last long.

LtGreggs Sat 10-Sep-16 08:18:36

flowers

backtowork2015 Sat 10-Sep-16 12:41:25

Has he made any attempt to get help?

BastardGoDarkly Sat 10-Sep-16 15:47:29

There's your answer then. You ok?

lemonormelon Wed 14-Sep-16 17:05:56

I'm sorry for not replying. Thank you for your posts. Things are a lot worse for DH, he's on a downward spiral right now. I've been posting on a similarly titled thread in 'relationships', there's a link below if you want to read it. I would greatly appreciate any help or advice you have to give, things are getting desperate for him.

DH lost his job because of drink
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2728445-dh-lost-his-job-because-of-drink

user1475360947 Thu 06-Oct-16 10:53:49

Hi lemonormelon

I'm going to start this by telling you that I am an alcoholic, although I have been sober for the past month. DH has to want to give up alcohol, and he will only want to do that when he hits rock bottom, I know, I have been there. DH is an alcoholic, he may not want to admit it but the best way for him to learn is hand him twenty quid, send him into the pub and tell him he can only have one drink while you go shopping etc, come back in a couple of hours and I'll bet most of the twenty quid will be gone on drink.

DH. Weds to go to AA or a recovery programme, as he probably needs to learn about what his addiction and how cunning and cruel the disease of alcoholism is, always waiting i the wings to come out at happy times, sad times (wetting baby's head/break up of relationships) good weather/bad weather (beer garden in the summer/wine by the fire in the winter)

Re leaving him I would say do it, help get him to the rock bottom, but then don't look down on him unless you are helping him back up.....support him and make him win your trust back.

I have another thread running which explains my situation a bit more and might help you understand some of his thoughts. If you still want the relationship look at al-anon if not only for you to get an insight into his addiction and work out how you may be able to help - but only after he starts to help himself.

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