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Friend drinking again but won't discuss it - help?

(5 Posts)
magnificatAnimaMea Sun 15-Nov-15 19:35:23

A friend has had serious alcohol issues in the past - including time in rehab and in the local hospital's psychiatric ward with severe depression, suicidal ideation, etc. In many aspects her life is "back on track", but she has continued to drink at a very low level, and the level has been creeping up in the last few months to the point that people are beginning to notice.

We all live in a small town; the old friends she has know her history intimately and know the reasons she may once again be struggling. But anyone who has attempted to discuss it with her has been cut off from "good" friend to "superficial social politeness" friend - and she is gradually becoming isolated in that group. She does seem to have friends at work, all of whom would see people with addiction problems regularly and thus would realise what the problem is, but I don't think she socializes with them much.

She is in danger of losing her job, which is the central element of her successfully rebuilding herself and her life. Her profession has a one-strike-and-you're-out policy. She knows this, but is drinking at a level where her blood alcohol might be over the limit the morning after the night before.

Is there any way any of us can broach this without simply getting cut off? i am as close as anyone to her - I tried to talk to her nearly a year ago, and it did seem to work for a while, but she had less to worry about then, than she does now.

I know she needs help from AA. I know she needs to choose to ask for help. But part of her problem is probably that she feels isolated, while isolating herself. Somehow we need to make her feel less isolated.

berylbainbridge Sun 15-Nov-15 19:39:38

The sad truth is she has to want to do it herself. Whether she's isolated or not obviously isn't going to help but you're understandably looking for ways to make her 'want' to seek help. It really is down to her. She may not have reached her own personal rock bottom yet.

magnificatAnimaMea Sun 15-Nov-15 20:32:10

No - I completely get that this is down to her.

However - what I (and others) can do something about is (1) general isolation and (2) saying "we're here to help if you want to seek help about this". It is our place to deal with those bits, if not with actually carting her off to the GP/AA. Which is why I was asking for suggestions on how to talk to her about (2).

madwomanbackintheattic Sat 27-Feb-16 00:32:12

I've not ever had any luck. I don't think there is a way. Just to be available when the shit hits the fan, and let her know that you are there if she does ever want to talk about it. But the slightest mention of it may well cut you off from being able to support, even from afar. It's a very very thin line.

teaforoneplease Tue 01-Mar-16 13:47:23

I know it's really hard but I honestly don't think that anything you say will help. She will be very aware of the issue herself. It's just a matter of when she decides to do something about it. For the moment. just including her and being there but speaking nothing of the problem, is probably the best way. She'll speak when she is ready.

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