I know there are other threads here about adopting your child's birth sibling but felt it was rude to hijack those.
I've been approached to see if I want to be considered to adopt LO's birth sibling (baby). I know it's a decision only I can make but am so torn. I want LO to grow up with a sister/brother but if I wouldn't have chosen that for LO just yet, ideally would've waited another year. But nothing is ideal is it. If I were to proceed it's likely new baby would be placed home with us within months (if not delayed by coronavirus).
LO is not yet three, has been home two years; perfectly settled and happy. My worry is that new baby will displace LO and could prove to be the wrong thing for them. In the short-term I feel now is not the best time (LO needs longer, I feel, to have undivided attention) but, long-term, growing up with sibling is potentially best. I know many adopted children have best of both worlds as they get the 1:1 attention whilst still having sibling relationship due to good relationships with adoptive parents, but know too that this is never a guarantee.
Am just so torn - wondering if anyone has been in similar position and how you factored your decision? Haven't spoken to loads of people, just my trusted circle who all say I have to decide what's best for my family (just me and LO as am single parent), trouble is I don't know what is best. Am wracked with guilt at thought of saying no, but worried my LO will be upset with attention going to sibling.
I know too that birth-mother could go on to have numerous other children but wouldn't feel conflicted in future because if I took this sibling now that would be me at capacity physically, emotionally and financially, so the future in that sense is not an issue. Just desperately trying to make the right decision now, for LO and for little sibling.
Any advice appreciated.
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Adopting new birth sibling - what to do for best?
18 replies
EarnshawLintonHeathcliff · 03/08/2020 04:59
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