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How soon is too soon for number 2

(11 Posts)
FairyBatman Fri 24-Jan-20 12:23:40

That’s it’s really, contemplating that if we’re ever going to go for number 2 it should be sooner rather than later.

DS is 40 months, has been with us 18 months and seems well settled.

I’m 40 and DH is 47 so don’t want to leave it to long...

How long did you leave it between adoptions?

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Happydaysareheretostaywayhay Fri 24-Jan-20 13:51:32

I haven’t adopted a second but you have to wait three years here.

BlackNails Fri 24-Jan-20 15:53:20

I waited 18 months roughly to begin the process for number 2 and she came home almost 3 years after DD1.
I think one of the most important things to consider (obviously beyond any conditions your own local authority might have) will be the attachment your current child has, their own sense of security with you and how this might be affected by having to share your attention. DD1 loved the idea of a sibling and was delighted when she arrived, but did have (normal) jealousy at having to share.
I think, after 18 months, it certainly wouldn't hurt to approach your LA and ask them what their own guidelines on a second adoption are and how long they think the process would take. That might help you decide when you might want to start.

Hels20 Fri 24-Jan-20 17:55:05

Hard...depends on when you feel ready and you think hour LO is ready. We adopted DS1 is November 2013 and DS2 in November 2016. We started the process for adopting again in January 2016. So just over years after DS1 moved in with us.

EightWellies Fri 24-Jan-20 19:27:30

We started the process the second time round 2 years after DD1 came home. By the time DD2 came home it was not far off 4 years. That's partly because we paused our family finding while DD1 settled in school.

It's tricky. As children get a bit older their needs can become more clear, but people can't hold off adding to their family forever 'just in case' their existing child starts to find things significantly harder.

How long is the process to approval likely to be in your area?

FairyBatman Fri 24-Jan-20 20:36:55

We were told 3 or 4 months second time around for approval, but then we were told 12 months the first time and it took 2 1/2 years!

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ifchocolatewerecelery Fri 24-Jan-20 22:10:42

We've just started the process again 2.5 years since our LO came home. She's settled at the moment and will be for a while so now is a good time to do it.

EightWellies Sat 25-Jan-20 06:44:26

3 or 4 months!! That's so quick. In our LA we had to do all the training again. They even had the same handouts at the Prep Groups. Matching can be harder the second time round as there are 3 of you to consider, though we found we were more desirable because we were 'tried and teasted'.

donquixotedelamancha Sat 25-Jan-20 13:13:20

DD1 has been home just under a year when we were asked to adopt again. 3 months later DD2 came home.

If you are ready then go for it.

With a smallish gap and no changes they aught to be able to appprove much quicker, but given the timescales you quote 'quicker' might still be slow. You can always slow the process down more easily than speed it up.

You will need to be a bit picky with matching (since you already have a child), so that part may take longer than you expect.

newyearsresolution2010 Mon 27-Jan-20 13:30:24

First time it took 9 months to do the paperwork, then placed with DS about 2 months after panel when he was 6 months old.
BM is (5 months) pregnant again so we are doing the approval paperwork again, but have been told this will only take 4 months as it will be fast tracked as it's for this specific baby.

FairyBatman Mon 27-Jan-20 22:23:35

Thanks all for your replies.

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