Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Christmas happiness!(5 Posts)
Was going to call this thread 'Christmas survival' but decided that seemed too negative (although our two are all over the place at the moment so the latter is probably more accurate). Anyway, hoping we could share our top tips. The one that sticks in my mind from last year is the DVD and chocolate day! My only offering is that I always try to ensure that our bedroom is a little sanctuary of calm and tidiness so when we crawl in there at night, it at least feels lovely!
I know I am not an adopter but I wrote a Christmas survival guide for my blog. I think remembering that it's okay to cancel plans and commitments if it gets too much Is important. Also, self-care is totally important.
Don do too many Christmas entertainment type things - and spread things out over the run up to Christmas. My two are super excited, they really struggle with emotional regulation for all the usual reasons so I expect there to be tears daily over tiny things, I build in down time usually just tv and snuggling on the sofa, I don’t worry too much about them wanting to sleep in our bed but I do stick to a bedtime routine.
I’d echo knowing that I can cancel all and any plans without notice is massively important because sometimes it’s just too much to them (and me). I also keep their world at home quite small, so we’ll tend to go visiting rather than having lots of visitors.
Yes another one who plans very little over Christmas. My parents stay for a couple of day’s and we all pretty much rock our PJ’s and shut out the world!
School last year has very triggering but thankfully this year no play just a carol singing assembly and lots of normal routine in class. Obviously still Xmas stuff going on so we’ve had to tweak the end of the day as by that point he’s done but a new temporary routine is working wonders so don’t be afraid to speak to school if it’s all getting a bit much.
I get as much pre prepped sides etc for Xmas dinner so I don’t feel any extra pressure in the day and can spend more time with little one.
I’d say my biggest discovery is to adjust my expectations, after that everything feels ok when you’re not feeling disappointed!
Oh yes and stock up on the fizz, a warm glow all day certainly helps
I know there are two schools of thoughts about presents - some people like to discuss with dc first and get them what they would like (within reason) and others think present should be a surprise - but I think, personally, that surprises for presents are difficult for many adoptees and other traumatised children, and it is best from around 4 years for them to know exactly what they are getting weeks in advance, and for there to have been some consensus. Also for dc to get a blow by blow about what will happen on xmas day, and on xmas eve, so they know exactly what is happening when and who they will see and talking about what will be expected of them, when they'll go to bed.
Lots of long walks with warm snowboots and duvet-like coats - it is good for balancing emotions, releasing feel good hormones, can provide parents with some head space, depending.
Starting traditions which they will look forward to for every year, starting small and hopefully taking a life of their own as the years go by (You probably do that already!)
Please login first.