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Meeting birth mum

(9 Posts)
beanie44 Tue 22-Oct-19 23:17:06

Hi all,

Looking for suggestions of questions to ask LO's birth mum when we meet, thanks in advance x

OP’s posts: |
PixieDustt Tue 22-Oct-19 23:36:15

Depends on how old your LO is? Are they asking questions for them self or are you asking questions for them? X

Italiangreyhound Wed 23-Oct-19 01:40:16

Well, I 'd like to know:
about the pregnancy
about little ones early days/weeks/months etc
what was important to the birth mum as a kid (toys, games, food etc)?
what's important to her now?
anything about the day?
favourite food, colour for birth mum?
has she got pets?

Good luck.

SameStory Wed 23-Oct-19 08:06:51

A question that is good to ask on behalf of your child is why they gave them the name they have. Also whether they have any particular dreams for the child. Those questions can really open up the conversations and give you something personal to tell your child.

Italiangreyhound Wed 23-Oct-19 10:03:05

Brilliant post SameStory.

jellycatspyjamas Wed 23-Oct-19 11:07:28

Advice from my SW was to have just one or two key questions - it’s a hugely emotional time for her and you and she may not be able to (or indeed want to) ask lots of questions. For me we asked about why the children were given the names they had and whether they looked like a particular relative. Two things that would link them back to their birth family. As it turned out, birth mum found it very very difficult to meet - I’m glad I didn’t go with a long list.

darkriver19886 Wed 23-Oct-19 12:29:29

I am birth parent but, for the life of me I can't remember what I was asked. I do remember a picture of us being taken and the adoptive mum put her arm around me.

It's things like that.

Dadoptor123 Wed 23-Oct-19 17:13:24

Hi! We met a few members of our son’s birth family last week (we’re currently on day one of Intros!) and we were really glad we did. For us, all of the reports were obviously focussed on the negatives so we wanted to get some of their positives so we can tell him about her when he inevitably asks what she was like. Ask about her favourite things (and dislikes), what she was like as a child, what she would like you to tell your child about her... that kind of thing. And get a photo together - a picture tells a thousand words!

CharlieSays13 Wed 23-Oct-19 17:24:55

We asked our LOs birth mum why she had named them what she did, what their first words were, what her hopes for their futures was and was there anything she would want them to know. BM had a few questions for us too. It was a highly emotional meeting for all of us but I'm very glad we did it and BM told us she was pleased that she had met us too.

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