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What to Say at a Family Wedding Post Adoption

(4 Posts)
NothingLeftToInheritDarlings Thu 08-Aug-19 13:58:29

Hi All

I met my birth mother and my four half brothers on her side ten years ago (just after my 50th birthday), and whilst it has been not the easiest thing either of us have experienced, we have taken it slowly and weathered the emotional storms which have washed over us. I suspect it helps that she is a writer and I am a psychotherapist, so we are fairly 'emotionally literate'.

I have been totally welcomed by her sons, who have always said they are delighted to have a big sister. The whole family are Australian, living in Brisbane, Sydney and newcastle NSW. One brother lives in the USA. I've been to Oz several times, they always stay with me when they come to Europe - it's all good.

Anyhoo ... one of them is getting married later this year and he has asked me to say something at the wedding reception. This will be the first time my birth mum has ever had all five of her children in the same room! Quite apart from the emotion that this brings up (I feel a surge as I write that!), what on earth can I say!!!!!

Everyone knows about the reunion, but she will be in the room and there is still the potential for her to feel very shamed. I don't want to do that, of course, but he wants me to refer to our relationship. I'm thinking it'll have to be short and sweet.

Any ideas??

Thanks all xx

OP’s posts: |
gabsdot45 Thu 08-Aug-19 15:02:31

Wow, That is a lovely thing to be asked to do.
I would suggest sharing some marriage advice or a wedding type poem or reading.
If you're afraid of embarrassing your mum then don't make a big thing of it. It's your brother's
wedding anyway so he is the person to talk about.

You could say something like
"Brother and I didn't grow up together but from the moment we met we've been family". Talk about how great he is and wish him and his bride good luck

I love to hear reunion stories like yours.
Good luck with it

Haffdonga Thu 08-Aug-19 18:39:32

Could you talk about welcoming the bride and her relatives into the family in the same way you were welcomed? Or something about people don't get to choose their families but they can choose who they love and spend time with, and that you are so happy to be a part of the growing bride/groom family?

Italiangreyhound Mon 12-Aug-19 00:55:47

NothingLeftToInheritDarlings congratulations on being asked to do this, what an honour.

I'd just focus on the wedding of the two people, get to know something about your brother's new bride and just say some nice things about marriage, as others say.

I'd run what you plan to say past your birth mum, and brother first.

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