Has anyone else been in this position? We’ve just had confirmed to us what I’ve long been suspecting - that our BC turns out to have been a bit of a miracle and our chances of conceiving again naturally are very very slim. We’ve been considering adoption for a while (I don’t want to go through IVF) and are doing all we can to find out about it. Some worries keep going through my mind though - namely, what effect it will have on our DD (5), and whether I’ll be able to love an adoptive child the same way. I know this sounds harsh but I’ve come to realise that part of the adoption process is being totally honest with yourself and with the SW. We know a fair amount about the issues kids can face, both being teachers and having had a shedload of safeguarding training plus worked with children with a variety of issues, but I’m not naive enough to think that this means it’ll be a walk in the park.
I keep reading everywhere that parenting an adopted child is not the same as parenting a biological child, but nobody ever elaborates on how it’s different. Our DD is desperate for a sibling, we are desperate for another child, but I keep flip-flopping between thinking how wonderful it might be if we can give a home to a child who’s had a rough start (I don’t mean we’re looking at this as some great philanthropic act, incidentally), and how amazing for there to be four of us, and worrying that it’d be a disaster and end up ruining both our DD’s and the adoptive child’s life. DH is not much help as he is very pragmatic and takes whatever life throws at him totally in his stride, so he’s confident it’d be fine either way.
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Adoption
Adopting due to infertility after 1 BC
7 replies
PiafPilaf · 01/08/2019 00:26
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