Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
What were you asked at panel?(15 Posts)
I know it will mostly be questions specific to your own PAR but just wondering what questions you were asked at approval panel and if they were what you expected?
We have panel next week and I keep trying to second guess what we might be asked. Thanks.
Don't forget, your SW will be with you too. I can't remember much (it passes in a blur), but I do remember my SW clarifying for me what the questioner was getting at. They will be based on your PAR. In my case we have a DD already, so a couple of questions were about her reactions etc.
There were about 8 people in the room, and each asked one question, going round the table clockwise. So, it certainly wasn't a 'quick fire' thing from all directions.
Honestly I barely remember. We worried about it so much and it was fine. Mainly questions about our report I think.
One question I do remember was "you and dh have academic backgrounds. Your child is likely not to be academic. Do you accept that?". We just said yes.
I still get a bit cross even now because they phrased it in a way that wrote off my child. I understood the question but my view was always to get the best lot of my child, academic or otherwise. As it happens my child is a bright little button! They might not be "academic" but they have plenty of other skills! Sorry, bit off topic there
Thank you so much for the replies. topcat2014 I have been following your journey for a while now but name changed last year. Lovely to hear about your experience.
SaveOurSausages that is really interesting as DH and I are also both fairly academic (both university education with professional qualifications in finance/media.) We were grilled on this during home study so it does state in our PAR that we have no fixed expectations about our child's educational attainment. I can see why the question would bother you - I know the most recent stats are something like 25% of adopted children get 5 GCSE's at A-C compared to non adopted children where the stats are about 50%. So although there is less of a chance our child will be academic, in my view, it is totally wrong to write off a child before you even know who that child is! But we'll tell them what they want to hear I guess.
@poppet31 Where are those stats you mention from? I’d be really interested to read more about this.
At our approval panel we were in the room for a total of about four minutes! We were asked two questions. The first was why we only wanted one child and the second was if we had changed our thinking at all (about anything) during the process. Our SW wasn’t in the panel with us.
The matching panel was much longer, and lasted about 30 minutes. Nine people were on the panel and each one asked us a question. We were also asked about the academic side of things and if we’d be disappointed if a child wasn’t as academic as us.
We were also asked:
Why do you want to be matched with this child?
How do you think your life will change?
What are you looking forward to most?
How do you feel about letterbox contact?
What are your arrangements for adoption leave etc.
There must have been 3 other questions but I can’t remember them at the moment.
Just had a Google and think this is probably what you’re referring too.
Posting it here in case anyone else in interested.
We had the same question save our sausage - was quite irritated by it. I teach a non academic subject in a non academic school... it happened at both panels as if something had changed in between! Irritatingn
My OH is an academic and I'm not. Before panel he was quizzed A LOT about it, but they loved that I didn't do well in school!
It didn't get mentioned at panel though, maybe my 'thickness' counteracted his intelligence!
My panel asked about holidays lol it was a little line in my par about enjoying holidays and they picked up on it! I just said it would be a different type of holiday now!
They also asked about school and timings for starting school and about my own self care as a single adopter.
Interesting it seems to be a standard question for people who did ok in education...almost as if I can't relate to a child that may find school difficult ah well, I should probably just view it that they are thinking of the child's best interests/just looking at it from different angles etc etc
I honestly can't remember.
We were prepared for Qs on the fact we have a birth child and also the fact we are Christians (what f your children do not share you faith etc).
Maybe we got those questions but it is probably good I cannot remember, means there were no real shockers!
Thank you everyone for your replies. We got our letter yesterday officially inviting us to panel and it included a general list of topics we may be asked about. There are a few specific points I know we might also get quizzed about. I suppose I am just nervous that they will throw a curveball I'm not prepared for.
PPs above have already given you relevant replies (we got asked about education too as both university educated! Who knew that it was a 'thing'?).
The other point I would make is that showing a willingness to learn and change and ask for support goes down really well. It was something our SW mentioned to us and it really stuck with me. So if you don't know something it's fine to say that, as long as you clarify that you'd know where to go for support (SW after adoption care etc).
Best of luck Poppet!
As we wanted a very young child we were asked how we would cope if the child developed any learning difficulties / had special needs in the future.
We were also asked about therapeutic parenting and what we thought about it.
Just a quick update to say we were unanimously approved at panel yesterday! I was surprised that all the questions were quite generic - how we found the process, attitudes towards contact, support network, work plans etc. Wasn't as scary as I expected. The panel were lovely and gave us a long list of our strengths which was nice to hear.
Please login first.