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Settling in letter - now what?

(4 Posts)
DoolinEnnis Fri 22-Mar-19 21:40:48

After the settling in letter has been sent out & hopefully picked up, should there be a response (if family choose to do this?) or would you only get a response to the ‘official letterbox letters’ the following year?

OP’s posts: |
darkriver19886 Fri 22-Mar-19 22:29:39

Birth Parent here. I sent a response back but I think it depends on the birth parent.

EightWellies Sat 23-Mar-19 08:01:55

It might be that you get a response, but I wonder if it might be less disappointing for you if you try not to have too high expectations of letterbox. In my experience, most, though by no means all, birth parents either don't reply or are very sporadic in their replies.

I know with DD1, we spent ages writing a letter, she did a drawing, and then we waited eagerly for a response. There never was one and hasn't been in the 5 years since she came home. I felt so disappointed on her behalf. It felt like a rejection, though in reality there are so many reasons why it might just be too hard for a birth parent to respond.

I really hope you do hear from them, but I guess what I'm saying is to try not to get too invested and see anything as a bonus.

Gertruude Sun 24-Mar-19 20:31:29

We've written three letters now & never had a response from birth parents despite being sure we would. We did hear back from birth grandparents though only once. We found it surprising but we understand now it's just too hard for them & they feel there's nothing left to say now. Maybe they'll change their minds later on.

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