It’s been 6 months now since we notified social services of our intentions for my husband to adopt our 14 yr old daughter. She first approached us over 2 years ago asking if it was possible but we told her that if she felt the same way in a year we would look into it...well we have put it off and tried to make her see how final it all is and she is still adamant it’s what she wants and my husband would like for nothing more as he has raised her for the last 5 years. So her biological father has seen her twice in 8 years, he was due to see her a third time in December 2014 but he called her the night before the meet and told her that he didn’t want to see her and that she can contact him when she’s 18...that was the last time we heard from him. So on Monday just gone the paperwork has finally been sent to the courts and our sw has finished our assessments, they are in full support of the application but like us they could not trace bio father...till tonight! I managed to locate a friend of his and while looking through his friends I saw a familiar photo on a girls profile pic, when I looked it turns out that this is his girlfriend. So I messaged and asked if I could call him for a chat...I informed my daughter that I had found him and that I’ve asked if I can contact them...she asked me if she could, I said I wasn’t sure as I know what he can be like and honestly my daughter doesn’t really remember him...she was 6 when we broke up. 5 hours later I got a message back asking me to call, my daughter was next to me when we made the call as I agreed we would do this together. When he came on the phone my daughter said hello...he said hello back and my daughter told him that she was only calling as she wanted to tell him that her step dad is adopting her...straight away he said no, he then went on to degrade me to her and blame me for the no contact, my daughter told him that this wasn’t about him or my husband and I, this is about her and what she wants...she went on to tell him that the father daughter bond between herself and my husband is how it should be and he is everything a father should be and that she would be really happy if he would agree to it. Again of course he said no and I had to terminate the call as my daughter became very emotional. Since this has happened a few hours ago, he has been on my social media page and posted on a happy New Year status I put up giving me abuse and he’s also shared my post to his page again giving me abuse...clearly this man hasn’t changed, when together I was abused in every way. So now...I’m here losing sleep because I’m worrying that with him now contesting my daughter isn’t going to get the one thing she longs for :( has any one else experienced anything like this...if you haven’t it doesn’t matter, I think I just needed to get all that out and thank you for spending the time reading it x
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.