My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Difficult intros with F.C. family

8 replies

DoolinW · 22/11/2018 21:40

I’m having a very difficult introduction week - not with my limo or the FC’s but their wider family and in particular their adult niece who lives next door. She has constantly have been interrupting my time with my lo.
Some examples are feeding time they will pick her up out of the high chair and onto their knees, refuse to call me her mummy/acknowledge she will be living with me, taking photos of lo, redressing lo after I’ve just changed her. I feel quite undermined in an already awkward situation being in a strangers house and the FC’s are really fantastic and encourage my time with my ad but I find it frustrating that their niece will interrupt this time. Can anyone advise?

OP posts:
Report
Ilovedotcotton · 22/11/2018 21:46

This is appalling. I would call your SW first thing in the morning and explain the situation. They, in turn, should speaker to the FC’s SW who should address this. You’ve been out in a very unfair situation and there isn’t time to waste so please be direct and hopefully SWs will sort this out. When do you switch to being at your house?

Report
clairedelalune · 22/11/2018 22:01

Call your social worker asap. As cotton said, they should sort it. Goodbyes with those outside of the home should have been completed before intros started. Good luck xx

Report
MarthaG · 22/11/2018 22:14

This is appalling - completely disrupts and goes against the theory behind intros. Like previous comments , speak to SW, there’s no time for this type of behaviour and don’t feel guilty, this is yours and your LO’s time. I would have been LIVID !!! Good luck and congratulations x

Report
Ilikethedaffodils · 23/11/2018 00:32

You say the FC's are fantastic and I'm sure in many ways they are, but they should not be allowing their niece into their house for visits while intro's are going on. It wouldn't be appropriate even if she sat quietly in the corner! Your baby needs to start getting to know you with as few distractions as possible.
As others have said, ring your SW as early as you can tomorrow. Good luck!

Report
mama1980 · 23/11/2018 17:12

This is awful you must call your sw tomorrow any goodbyes with fc family should have been completed
before intros started. It's completely inappropriate for other family members to be present. Your lo needs to be bonding with you here, quietly and safely.

Report
iwillkeepthishouseclean · 23/11/2018 18:20

I am a foster carer and whilst their niece is probably going to miss the baby and is feeling it hence why she's trying to spend time with her, she should not be with her this week and should have said goodbyes to her already.

Have you had a summary of the day either before you leave their house or first thing just a general conversation about how you feel it is going and how they feel it is going, I'd drop into that conversation that whilst you understand their niece maybe sad that the baby will be leaving you feel it would be better for you just to have one to one time with her and could they ask her not to visit whilst you are There.

If they ignore you or get funny is then speak to your social worker.

Report
iwillkeepthishouseclean · 23/11/2018 18:21

I would add that the rest of the family don't visit either.

Report
adoptDad · 30/11/2018 22:05

I would contact your social worker straight away. Your time during your introductions is about you and your LO.

Our LO's foster carer has had him for two years, so we expected it to be hard for her but she's been amazing. The whole family should be supportive of it all

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.