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Letterbox/settling in letter

(10 Posts)
howmanyusernames Fri 16-Nov-18 10:46:41

Our LO has been with us since April, AO went through beginning of last month.
We haven't been asked to do a settling in letter or had anything about letterbox.
I don't think BM will engage if we do, but I want to do it in case she does.
Should I have been asked to do something by now by SW's?!

OP’s posts: |
OurMiracle1106 Fri 16-Nov-18 10:49:41

Hi howmanyusernames
I am a birth Mum and I had to chase social services for contact to be put in place. I had assumed it would just be something automatic but in reality if you don’t ask about it and write the letter, the social worker unless chased by birth parents won’t either.

I’d recommend asking your social worker. Birth Mum may be waiting thinking it’s automatic like I did but when it wasn’t received I started asking questions and chasing.

I also think it’s fantastic you are prepared to engage in letterbox.

DeegeeDee Fri 16-Nov-18 12:16:02

Hi @Howmanyusernames we are 2 months in and we discussed as part of the 1st review last month - am now drafting the settling in letter. Think it would have been said earlier and suggest asking your SW to clarify.

In any case, worth writing (even if not sending) as am sure tgere are questions and information you want to get down on paper. Good luck x

howmanyusernames Fri 16-Nov-18 12:33:01

OurMiracle I follow your updates and my heart goes out to you. You clearly love your child very much. I only wished our LO's BM was like you, but this is her 6th child and none she kept... I want to do what I can though, just in the hope that one day she wakes up and wants to have some sort of relationship with our LO, even for his sake, but don't unfortunately think that will happen.

I will email our SW and ask about it! ☺

OP’s posts: |
darkriver198868 Fri 16-Nov-18 14:27:14

Hi I am also a birth mum.
Letter box was agreed before the children was placed with the adopters. I am expecting my settling in letter on Tuesday. I had to sign a contract of agreement (I think)

howmanyusernames Fri 16-Nov-18 15:28:19

I emailed our SW and he’s going to get LO’s SW to get in touch about it.

OP’s posts: |
IAmMumWho Fri 16-Nov-18 19:01:37

I'm an adopted mother. We agreed letter box while we did our assessments. We had to mention to SW about this as she didn't address us with it. Hope you get it! X

howmanyusernames Wed 21-Nov-18 12:58:31

Just had an email from LO's SW now!
She is going to get everything set up. She's had no contact from BM but we both agreed that I can write letters that are kept at their offices, so they're there if she changes her mind.

She's also going to set up letterbox with our LO's half sibling (also adopted). His adopter is keen but cautious, and she is a single parent so is obviously super busy, but if we can just get letterbox started now maybe in the future they can meet. ☺

Our LO also has another half-sibling who is looking for a family, but once they are placed and settled letterbox will be something we will want to set up there too.

OP’s posts: |
darkriver198868 Wed 21-Nov-18 13:26:16

Thats great howmanyusernames.
I have just finished writing my response to the adopters as I got a settling in letter. It was really difficult to write but I couldnt live with myself if I didnt try.

Moomooboo Thu 29-Nov-18 14:33:01

I was in this situation recently but I just wrote a settling in letter and sent it anyway. I found a really great website with a template that I basically copied. contact.rip.org.uk - I had no clue what I should write.

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