Linked to a 6 month old boy

[Smudgymoo]

Hi all
Just looking for some tips - have been reading many of the posts on here and it's all been incredibly helpful.

Me and my partner were approved to be adopters a couple of months ago and we have been linked to a baby boy of around 6 months and our social worker has arranged for us to go to panel mid September with the view for introductions to start early October.

We have a meeting with the medical advisor and hopefully foster carer next week and we are just wondering if there's any questions we should ask??

We have been asked to prepare a book - specifically one that can record voices - the Tomy Discovery Forget me not, but I can't find it anywhere and have really been searching. I have bought the Einstein say and play photobook, but this looks like it's very easy for the baby to record over our voices by accident...! Does anybody have any ideas?? I'm thinking of getting a soft photo album like www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00TYLB4R4/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&psc=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

If anybody has any other useful tips for starting their adoption journey with a baby boy, let me know - especially if there's anything we should buy!!

Thank you!!

[clairedelalune]

I couldn't find the discovery book either, so I wrote the intro book and then made an audio recording of it on my phone then put it on a CD.

With the medical adviser, you should have seen the medical report before you meet. This will also have info about the birth family if they have supplied any info. So your questions come from that. Their lifestyle choices may have had an impact on the child, so ask what the consequences could be long term.
For the foster carers... they probably know the most about them, and will also possibly have had experienced the birth parents at contact. I found it more useful chatting during intros once I had met my child, but practical questions e.g. soap powder, formula, nappy size are good at this point so you can prepare (they will be in bigger nappies though when you start intros), also ask how much stuff they have and what they will come with.
Wishing you lots of luck! Such an exciting time!!

[Smudgymoo]

Thanks for your reply - that's really helpful. We have a medical report but it was completed when he was a very small baby as he has always been in care so there's not really very much on there, but you are right about the lifestyle consequences and so that's very helpful thanks!

We are very excited - it all seems a bit unreal at the moment as it's been very quick - we are very lucky (hopefully!!!)

[Dontbuymesocks]

Have a look at this link for useful questions:
www.adoptionuk.org/FAQs/questions-for-foster-carers-and-social-workers

We managed to buy the forget me not thingy but it didn’t work so we couldn’t use it. We also made a home-made version which worked well.

[Smudgymoo]

Thanks for that list - that’s really great!

I think we will have to go with what we have as can’t seem to find it anywhere!

[PurpleMac]

We used the lamaze butterfly photo album to do ours. 7 months later and DS still loves it!

Go through the child's report with a fine tooth comb for any questions for the medical advisor. Ours basically just repeated it verbatim and we had already googled anything we were a bit unsure of, and had my mum (medical professional) explain anything else (without letting her see the report of course).

[donquixotedelamancha]

The Tomy Discovery Forget went out of production about 5 years ago. We did videos and laminated A4 picture. Anything with your voice or image will be fine for a 6mo.

[Blue25654]

How about This?

[Purple1314]

We got the one blue has linked to and it was great. We bought a blank board book off amazon as well and printed our own photos and labelled them like in a baby book (eg my mummy, my daddy, my house etc). We then read this using the book reader. We also sang songs onto a video and used what’s app to send to the foster carer who played them to baby.

[Smudgymoo]

Thanks for that! I have ordered the reader but also emailed Lamaze as that butterfly book seems to have stopped being made as well!! Really appreciate all the advice it’s really helpful!

[howmanyusernames]

We were matched with a 6 month old boy in April!

We got most of our information from the FC's as he'd been with them for 5 months, so definitely utilise them!

We didn't get asked to do a book, but did record us singing a couple of his favourite nursery rhymes, which we sent to FC's before intros, so he could recognise our voices.
We also recorded our dogs barking so he was used to that too.

Our FC's had BM live with them for a few weeks too, so they could tell us more about her than the SW's could, so definiely ask them about that if it's a similar situation.

Ask what they have as ours had LOADS! We also got given a lot of things/clothes/toys, and didn't really need to buy anything new (although we did!).

Our LO had always been with a FC (initialy with BM in FC, but then on his own), so medical report wise there wasn't anything we didn't know or any worries.
Our LO had an HIV/Hep tests when he was 3 months old as BF was a bit of an 'unknown' and had a history with drugs. Test was negative, but we've been told to have another when he's 12 months old as a 'precaution'. We'd always said we'd be okay with blood borne viruses anyway, so IF he did have anything it would be fine, plus now we absolutely love him to bits so that wouldn't change things!

Happy for you to PM me if you have any questions! Our LO has been with us 4 months now. ☺

[Smudgymoo]

Thanks for that - that’s really helpful! I’d love to record some nursery rhymes but my partner finds it too awkward!!! Very glad to see a smiley face at the end of your post at the end of 4 months - hopefully we will feel the same - I’m sure we will as we are so excited. We are buying big things like cot, car seat and pram and then I’m sure smaller things people will buy for us!!! Thanks!

[howmanyusernames]

My OH hates all things like that, he was cringing at the thought, but he did it! We only did 2 songs, so not too bad.
The first 2 weeks for me was a struggle, I won't lie, but I then spent more time with LO and as he became more settled so did I, and now I love him to pieces and can't wait for the adoption order to all be done and dusted (SW's are doing the paperwork now, which has to be submitted by the 16th) so he's legally ours!

[Littlevicky]

Hi I’m also matched with a 6 month baby boy!! Start intros a week on Monday! Beyond excited and a load of other emotions as I’m sure you are too. I got a fabric photo album which had space for 6 photos so I put ones of family and 2 close friends and me all holding a cuddly Winnie the Pooh I got him (this is the theme for my nursery). I slept with it on me before I gave it to his SW. I’ve also given him some muslins and a comforter toy I also slept with. I have washed a load of muslins I’m intending to sleep with on me so I can give some each day at intros. My SW got a pic of my face that she has printed big and laminated as his FCs have shown him this.

Hope all goes well for you xxx

[Littlevicky]

Also just to add there was nothing major in my boys medical so it was more like just another step to go through, but obviously if there is anything of big concern it would be mentioned in his profile so there shouldn’t be any surprises.

I have been in regular contact with the FCs so have loads of info and photos which is lovely xxx