Because she told DD2 she should ask her before eating some ice cream that apparently she, DD1(19) bought last week while we were away, with her money that she earns.
I said we weren't going to go down separate foods and that attitude unless she wished to pay towards the food that we provide her with.
With that she ranted about having had a really bad day, and she was fed up with everything, stormed upstairs and soon after left and went off in her car. She normally goes first thing Saturday.
For context. She is working, albeit NMW. But she lives with us entirely rent free, and does sod all around the house, and within the last 4 weeks we paid half (nearly £2k) towards upgrading her car, the first one of which we provided completely. I had also told her before we went away that if she kept receipts I would reimburse her for reasonable food.
Some of this is general teen stuff, some is the Asperger's like social skills she has due to her dyspraxia, and some is Adoption related. But I have had 3 years of self-inflicted crisis after self-inflicted crisis.
Tell me something to keep me sane. (Or that IABU.)
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
DD has just stropped off to BF
UnderTheNameOfSanders · 10/08/2018 19:32
boyfriend...not birthdad yes?
if boyfriend then heyho let her strop off...shes 19, usually goes saturday am anyways - she can cry at his over eaten ice-cream.....saves you listening to her moaning...enjoy your evening
did you want to hear the glass half full? i'm not great at the there there stuff... 
Boyfriend yes, definitely not birth father!
Ice cream tub still half full. She could have had some herself. Loads left.
She hadn't mentioned (or even labelled) the ice cream. I do not keep a mental list of everything in the freezer. When DD2 spotted it and asked for some I had no idea DD1 had bought it. But given that DD1 lives rent free, and does nothing to help around the house, I really don't think that a scoop of ice cream is something she should be begrudging her sister.
boston Yup she can do her woe is me at BF and his parents. We don't understand how hard she has it. We are all totally against her. And controlling her. And nagging her. We love her sister far more than her. She has health issues (that is true) that are totally beyond her control (not true). Oh, everyone else is always wrong at work, they have stupid rules which they occasionally irrationally change.
At least now we don't wake to a grumpy person in the house. 
Can I ask why she lives rent free at 19...Paying keep is very normal for you do adults Also if she works she should walk or save for her own car her huffing shows she is neither greatful or respectful
While I strongly agree with all that, it's easier said than done. When kids have lots of other complex needs, those come first. With some teens, just getting them to functioning adulthood is a huge victory.
Maybe there is room to work on developing some independence once the current drama is over, but for now my only offering is: 
and the experience that they are less dickheadish in a few years (well I was).
Well another week, and gentle progress.
Fewer pain killers, more pleasant, spent some time with sister, and got some qualification work and tidying done.
I no longer feel stressed to be in the same room, so that is an improvement!
Kew this too shall pass . A very good mantra!
Signed off for another month, slowly on fewer painkillers. Had a long standing family day trip at the w/e which I had been dreading until she went off work, and we had a delightful day, (even though her mobility was restricted). So definitely feeling less stressed, for now at least.
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