Affording adoption

[Shinylass578]

Hi,
My husband and I are beginning the process of looking into adoption.
I have looked at my companies adoption policy and I will just receive statutory adoption pay, which we won't be able to live on as I am the main earner in the house.
We would not be entitled to any area of universal credit. So would only receive child benefit.
Does anyone know of anything else we would be able to claim or any ideas on how we will be able to afford to adopt?
The only thing I can think of is my husband stays at home and I go back to work.
Thank you for any help!!

[MonsterTrash]

Husband taking leave is probably the only way, does he get any occupational adoption pay? SWs will want to know you've saved enough for a year's leave for one of you. Does your company's policy mirror their maternity policy?

It sucks, and is why adoption is a "middle class activity".

[howmanyusernames]

I agree, it sounds like your husband would have to stay at home and you go back to work. This is what me and my OH did, I work for myself so get no adoption entitlement plus I earn more, so he is off on adoption leave now.

He did have to fight to get his pay equal to the maternity package though, but this was only because the adoption and maternity packages were the same, statutory, but in March 2017 they enhanced the maternity one but didn't the adoption one. He challenged his HR Dept and they said that it 'should' have been updated, but as it wasn't the statutory pay stood?! Even the HR Director agreed with this! He lodged an official grievance in the end, and won!

And with savings, we had saved but not a years salary. Yes they do like one of you to be off for a year, but I have read of single adopters who had to go back to work as they couldn't after to be off for longer than 6 months. Or depending on the child's age, they could be in school.
BUT, it is tough, and when the child comes to you you may not know about issues they have, so it might be that you do need to take a year off, so it's being prepared financially if that did happen.

[MonsterTrash]

I didn't say you have to take a year off. I said SWs will want to know you've saved enough for a year's leave for one of you. whether that lasts a year or not, or whether you go back sooner, they want to hear "Yes, one of us can be off for a year" at this stage. Don't lie, if you can only ever take six months off, you should tell them. But if there is a possibility you can take a year, tell them that.

[L0UISA]

Adoption agencies won’t care which one of you is a SAHP.

If you adopt a large sibling group ( 3 plus ) or older ( school aged ) children with significant SN then you may be considered for an adoption allowance.

Or, instead of adoption, your husband could become a long term foster carer. This is a job and he would be paid .

[MonsterTrash]

Foster carer isn't being a parent, though.

[Ted27]

Firstly you should check if your company has an enhanced maternity package, if it does challenge it and try to get adoption policy changed to match the maternity package.

There is no reason why your husband can't be the primary carer, or you could split the adoption leave between you.

If you are only at the beginning of the process you do have time to save, start looking at how you can reduce outgoings.

Look at your budget carefully, don't forget that you probably spend on things you won't when you are parents, commuting costs, going out, holidays etc

[donquixotedelamancha]

I certainly think that split maternity is the best option if possible.

Is your company's adoption policy the same as it's maternity policy. If not I'd be pressing for change.

The process is likely to be at least 6 months to a year (if in England and wales) so you have time to start saving. It think it's worth a short delay to get you on a solid financial footing and you can use the time for research/household jobs/sleep.

Ideally you would not both go back to work full time if possible.

[L0UISA]

Split maternity leave might be good for the parents but won’t be for an adopted child. They will just have started to get used to their new primary carer when he / she will leave them and swap out for another.

Not good for a traumatised child.

[Ted27]

I don't agree Louisa, parent doing the first 'shift' won't be leaving, parent on the second ' shift' won't be a stranger.
It would be managable with a bit of thought and planning as to how both parents are involved when they are not the parent at home

[tldr]

I just was going to post too that I think split leave is a bad plan from dc POV so maybe it just means you shouldn’t count On a child being able to handle it - it wouldn’t have worked here at all.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

Mine wouldn’t have coped with split leave either tbh, they have both really needed the consistency of me being here - they have plenty of time with their dad and have a lovely relationship but knowing I’m at home has helped them hugely. They get very anxious with a change of household routine and struggle if I’m away for the night so wouldn’t have managed a change in primary carer.

[Ted27]

well like anything else is adoption land, it all depends on the child doesn't it. It would be a better option than someone having 5 or 6 months off work and child having to go to childcare. If the child is school age, it would probably be more managable.

If there is anything I have learned as an adopter its whatever scenario is raised, someone will say no, wouldn't work for us, and someone else will say, yes its was great for us

[Firstnameterms]

My husband took the adoption leave. A whole year. Much to the amazement of all my old fashioned family members It was great for him, he did a fine job and, quite frankly, was much calmer than I was so probably did us all good.

[IAmMumWho]

I wish my OH took the full Adoption leave. He took 2 weeks paid and 2 weeks adoption leave.

I did the full 12 months. But we did foster for adopt, so we got foster carer allowance until the order changed to adoption. I did feel the loss of money in the 3 months unpaid.

[AmyJo63]

We are having the same dilemma. My husband earns a lot less than me so he will be the one staying at home. if anyone has any tips on how to save money raising a child without sacrificing the child's happiness or well-being that would be appreciated, as we are going to be on a tight budget.

[Ted27]

what a child needs when they come home is quite simply you, time, attention, love

Yes of course they need to be fed and clothed, toys etc, but they don't need expensive labels or even new stuff. Parks and many musuems are free, you take a picnic. It might be worth investing in a National Trust or English Heritage membership because then you have 'free' access for days out.

But start planning now, reduce your outgoings. Do you have the best utilities and mortgage deal? If not, switch. Get any house maintenance done now.
once I was approved I started stashing non perishable essentials and basics like pasta, rice, tinned tomatoes, cooking oil, cereal, fruit juices, cleaning stuff, toiletries, loo rol, cat food. I had about 6 months supply. Made a huge difference to my weekly shopping bill. You become a lot more away of bargains, vouchers, collecting nectar points - I save mine for Christmas and have a 'free' shop in December

I also invested in my 'mum' uniform. I kitted myself out with a good coat, shoes, basic clothes, I didnt buy anything for myself for a year.
Remember that you will spend a lot less on grown up entertainment and going out.
Take a long hard look at your current expenditure. Many people without kids fritter away lots of money on going out, take aways, coffees, randon purchases. Stop doing it now. A good thing to do is to try and live on one income now and see how you get on, where you need to save etc.

[OlennasWimple]

No, DD couldn't have done split leave either, even though it sounds good on paper. TBH, I don't think that our birth child would have been happy with it either