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Twin baby adoption advice?(8 Posts)
This is my first ever post on Mumsnet and would really value any advice you all may have. We've recently been informed that there is a match for us, twins, 9 months old. Since we have found out more about these beautiful babies we are going through a range of emotions of sheer and utter excitement to intense worry about the future.
We've never been parents so would appreciate any top tips you may have about twins and advice on the essential baby items we would need. I've been looking at cots, pushchairs etc. and would value any top tips from the community.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to reply
There is an association called TAMBA (twins and multiple births association) they may be able to sell on cots/prams etc so you get good stuff cheaper.
Always buy new matresses for any cot or pram.
Sleep when babies sleep. Routine is good. Especially, I would imagine for twins. I have not got twins, I have a birth dd almost 14 and an adopted son almost 8.
This is so exciting. I always wanted twins!
I have two good friends who have twins. They bought the same toys etc for kids initially but as the children grew they encouraged them in their independence.
Maybe read up on twins. I think dressing them the same is probably not great these days. It looks cute but if it goes on for years it must make it hard to develop a real sense of being different.
All the twins I know seem to be very different from each other, different hair styles etc and also different personalities/hobbies. To me that makes sense as they grow but as I say, I do not have twins.
Will they keep their names? We kept our son's two names, added a third family Christian name and, of course, he took our surname.
Do not talk to social workers about name changes but be aware having two babies both keep their birth name might make them more identifiable. This is not really relevant if birth family are not a threat. But if there are issues must think about it maybe.
My son has a very identifiable name (birth name we kept) but birth family are no threat.
But OMHO do not talk to social workers about names because they are all very hot on keeping names! Always!
I hope all will go well. Your children will have each other and you will keep then together. Such a beautiful gift to give then.
How do you do, loubelou. Congratulations on the match. I've got two, fairly close together, so I can give you some thoughts:
1. All those worries are perfectly normal. We all thought the exact same thing. No amount of theory can prepare for for having kids, but people manage every day- it's both harder and easier than you expect.
2. That's a great age to be getting them- younger the better if poss, but I wouldn't be sorry to miss the foul green poo stage.
3. Two young kids at once is HARD. You'll be frazzled for the first couple of years. The compensation is that they learn from each other and play with each other- those pre school years really are special.
4. Everything Italiangreyhound said is dead right, but I think one in particular bears repeating: Set routines and stick to them. Even when it seems they aren't needed, they will help later. Most kids have phases where they don't sleep well, it's normal.
5. Stuff you need and don't:
- You don't need a £2k tank-pram. You need a decent double buggy- do the research on this, price is not an indicator of utility.
- Buy/scrounge as much as you can second hand. They grow out of things so quickly and you want them to be able to get mucky and play. Honestly no point to naice things with toddlers.
- If you are making changes, leather furniture and laminate floors or hydrophobic carpet are better.
- Fill your freezer with easy stuff and get all jobs out of the way before intros. After intros you will be knackered.
- Don't buy much stuff until the match is very certain.
Are they same sex twins ? If not then obviously they will be v different from each other anyway so not so much of an issue.
Ooh how v exciting for you. X
Ps support network!. Cultivate it/them! Use it/them!
Thank you all so much for your wonderful advice. I have a great support network around me so looking forward to using their knowledge and advice. I’m definitely going to look for preloved items & don’t think I could possibly consider spending crazy prices on a luxury buggy which probably is just as good as some of the others.
I’ll no doubt be back in touch to ask for more advice, but again thanks for taking the time to respond xx
Loubelou - I'm so excited for you!
I know I don't know you but can't wait to hear more about your new lovely family.
Look for local NCT nearly new sales or Mum to Mum sales. You'll find everything you need at a fraction of the cost of new and stuff will be in great condition.
Good luck, and congratulations
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