Adoption allowance

[Tiddlytubby]

Does anyone know if it is possible to receive a non means tested adoption allowance, for a 6 yr old without special needs..if..s/s have made a mistake in placing a child too close to birth parents and too close to the area they lived in, so causes the child memory trauma, and as a result the adopter has to move? I know 10 years ago this was possible but what about now? Thanks

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I’d be surprised if they did tbh, social services should be very aware of where they’re placing a child relative to where they grew up so I’m guessing that would be part of their original assessment for adoption allowance.

What do you mean when you say “memory trauma”?.

[thomassmuggit]

Going by your other thread, then I think you'll be lucky to get a mean tested allowance, and would go for that in the first instance. i't is possible to get non-means tested allowances, but as you've already got the adoption order, despite SS cock ups, you're in a weak position. Perhaps ask for non-means tested, and then you can 'compromise' on means tested?

Or ask SS to pay moving costs. TBH, they may not follow the logic of a move requiring such a big pay cut. Allowances are usually because a parent is expected to be at home for the child's needs, and therefore can't earn, rather than due to the job market.

Could you move somewhere where a pay cut is not required, and get SS to pay costs to move there? That could be more arguable? Essentially, SS have no money, so you're going to have to threaten disruption to get them to pay a penny. And then there is the risk of them taking that seriously. They're not to going to pay AA post adoption order unless they think they could have to have the child back in care, and if you ask for too much AA, they may decide FC would be cheaper. I'd tread carefully.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

In your other thread you said you needed to move because the birth family know where you live, do they present an actual threat or is it that you’d rather not live so closely? In terms of your child, all trauma is memory trauma in that we’re traumatised by the memory of what happened to us. I can understand you wanting to move away from places she might remember but the reality is anything could spark a traumatic memory for her - even things that have seemingly no relation or relevance to her story. If she’s traumatised, she will be wherever she lives and the potential fit flashbacks exist. I’m thinking social services will have had all of this in mind when she was placed - did they tell you where she had been living etc during matching and linking?

Do you need to move so far away that you’d lose so much income? I’m guessing your family aren’t close by just now and can see this presents an ideal opposition move closer but I’m not sure social services will see a reason to fund your lifestyle thereafter if they’ve not allocated an adoption allowance thus far.

[Tiddlytubby]

SS have admitted and apologised for not considering both our locations, and agree its in my little ones best interests to move. I only have family in one other county and hence the salary cut. I just dont want to move somewhere that I dont know a sole..and yes the threat is real. There have already been sightings. Thanks for your advice.

[thomassmuggit]

'The threat is real'. Threat of what? Kidnap? Murder? Tears? That will affect what help SS should be offering, and whether you need to ask the police for panic buttons etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if SS feel they have discharged their duty if they pay moving costs.

Did you not consider the locations? Did SS hide where the family lived? We had all addresses in the CPR.

[bostonkremekrazy]

I had assumed on your other thread because SS had agreed to pay your moving costs, they must have deemed the move to be 'necessary'. Do they feel you need to move, or are they paying the costs due to their mistake?
Its clear from your posts that you feel you have to move.

As parents I think we would all come to a different conclusion in the same situation...we are all different after all.
Whether they pay up in terms of an adoption allowance - or the 40% drop in your salary may well hang on the questions asked above by PP

[bostonkremekrazy]

@thomasmuggit - we adopted 2009, 2016, 2017, 2018. Every time addresses have been with-held. We've known area but not suburb/village etc.

[thomassmuggit]

boston Interesting. Were the addresses not on every page of the Red Book?

[bostonkremekrazy]

You mean the health visiting book? The BP kept it for our first children - once LAC they were issued with new books. The children that came after were removed at birth and so their address after release from hospital was the FC address.

[thomassmuggit]

I was told we couldn't get new books, so I had to 'lose' ours, as it had so much identifying info in it. Mine, too, never lived with BP, yet it was BP address in there. Funny how things vary. We had all addresses of BP and wider family in the CPR, plus the addresses in the red books. So I feel i know exactly where they are, which I quite like. Obviously, they could move.

[bostonkremekrazy]

Remember some BP have no fixed abode, some BP evade SS by moving counties/countries, some BP hospital jump to give birth and refuse to give an address if they have one.
Not having an address at birth or a fixed abode is just another one of the crap things some of our kids do not have :(
(we hope it means they equally have no idea where SS would have placed the babies though!)