Adoption

[Tiddlytubby]

Does anyone have any advice please? I've just adopted, but prior to going to court, the birth family found out my childs school through a non-supervised contact session in the community, something i had always expressed concern with, and i have found out we are also 15 mins away from birth parents. Now we need to move!!! My only real option is to move near my parents, so i have some support, but it will mean a 40% pay cut. "Has anyone else had to move?" And if so,what financial support do you think i can get from my LO as i feel it is their fault we are having to mive. They have agreed to pay physical moving costs but nothing else, and its the affordability to live elsewhere which is the issue due to my salary potential..Thanks

[Tiddlytubby]

Please help me someome...

[Alljamissweet]

We were advised to pull out of a link due to BP's being close by. This is appalling! How stressful for you.
Have to dash!

[IAmMumWho]

All this should have been looked into way back in the day. My kids and birth parents and us are from the same county but miles apart. On the kids cpr it says areas for adoption to avoid. If your only 15 mins away from each other this is not on! I would contact SSW and find out why this never got looked at, at the beginning.

We have several locations on ours due to children's extended family who they don't know or have never seen.

I'm shocked at this.

[IAmMumWho]

Sorry @Tiddlytubby I didn't read correctly. What was this unsupervised contact? We're birth parents having any kind of contact prior to AO? I'm rather puzzled now! X

[Jellycatspyjamas]

Ask the LA to grant an adoption allowance - I’m guessing you’ll pass a means test if you base it on your reduced income. I’d also be refusing unsupervised contact from here on in.

[Tiddlytubby]

Thanks, yes unsupervised contact was with an extended member of the family prior to the AO, which was a big mistake in hindsite, and the SW agrees that now. They're currently looking at the adoption allowance, however this can be withdrawn by local authorities at any time if they want to, so if I move and they then stop the payment, I couldn't afford to live and would be totally stuck.

[Tiddlytubby]

And yes, all contact has now ceased as a result of the issues...it is letterbox only...

[rose69]

Sorry to read this, it must be really stressful for you. The council has admitted fault as they are going to pay move costs. I would argue that they should pay for the cost of the house or a one off payment.
Three years after the court order the presponsibility for allowances will transfer to your new LA and it won't have the historical reason for needing to pay you ( although it will calculate allowance based on income and out goings).

Contact the director of social services, copying in cabinet member for children (details will be on your council's website) and the chief executive.

Also contact one of the Adoption charities as they are bound to have advised people in the same position.

[MummyBear90]

Living close to BP doesn’t always have to be a concern. I’m in the same situation as you where BP live 10 minutes away but the SW advised us that this isn’t an issue as they’re not a threat. I am very aware of how close they live though and my partner and I have discussed the possibility of moving in a couple of years as we know it could cause a problem when our DD is older as we can avoid certain places but we can’t put restrictions on where she can go as a teenager :( x

[flapjackfairy]

Get the adoption allowance written into the adoption order and guaranteed until a certain age . That is what we have done and then it is legally binding. This is their cockup they need to pick up the tab . Dont finalise the adoption until it is agreed ! That is my advice.

[flapjackfairy]

Ps they will tell you that all adop allowances are means tested every year or so . This is not strictly true ! They can be non means tested and guaranteed under exceptional circumstances .

[Jellycatspyjamas]

Our adoption allowance was granted until the kids reach 18 or leave full time education - they review it every year but only from an “are the kids still living with you” point of view.

[bostonkremekrazy]

We moved after a photo of my child was put online by school mums. We changed schools. As we have an agreed adoption allowance we sucked up the costs ourselves.
Our friends who are FC had their address leaked by SS and SS agreed only to pay moving costs and nothing else. They were adopting the children otherwise they would simply have moved the children rather than the whole family 😕.

I think SS should be paying the 40% difference in your salary - do you think they would agree to that? Dont be surprised if they review it yearly though...on account that you can continue to job-hunt, and will have your parents on tap for childcare 😕

[S0ph1a]

How serious is the risk from the birth parents ? Is there a history of serious violence , have they tried to abduct the child from foster care or approached you now they know where you live ?

I’m not saying it’s ideal that they know where you live, but lots of birth parents know their child’s new name and address ( usually when the child is adopted by Foster carers ) that’s not a risk in itself.

[Tiddlytubby]

Thanks, I will propose this...it would be ideal...

[Tiddlytubby]

Thank you, i will copy them in. THANKS