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Telling Employer

(11 Posts)
Shannonlynn Mon 12-Feb-18 22:01:03


So this week we are hoping to have our ROI approved and enter stage one. I am very excited to get this ball rolling!

References will go out and my employer is one of them, so when it’s approved I will need to sit with my employer to inform them of our intentions. It defiantly needs to be done before the end of the week so that the reference needed isn’t a shock.

I work in a very small company where there is no HR, or manager, my boss is the director of the company. I just wanted some advise how best to go about this, as I am nervous.

How did you tell your employer?

Any experiences would be immensely helpful.

Thank you ! blush

insmithereens Mon 12-Feb-18 23:42:11

Hi OP we were in similar situation in terms of tiny company & boss being director. I just asked if we could have a chat & told them we were at the beginning of the process - at the time I thought six-eight months is all it would take but it was 18months ago & we are due to go to matching panel next month. I'd imagine your employer will be very supportive but from everyone I know who's gone through the process it's taken a lot longer than initially thought so I'd suggest reiterating that to your employer so they don't panic. Good luck

Rainatnight Tue 13-Feb-18 10:07:01

I was very upfront from the beginning, and emphasised the uncertainty - that the time it can take is extremely variable, but that I'd commit to letting them know progress and information as soon as I had it.

This worked well for me, with the caveat that I work in a huge organisation, and my boss was lovely and happened to have a number of friends who'd adopted so knew the score.

Some people feel uncomfortable sharing so much because it's so uncertain so maybe others will be along with a different perspective.

Italiangreyhound Tue 13-Feb-18 17:46:25

Personally, I would keep it professional, be matter of fact. You are not asking permission.

Do give the information you need to give.
Do say if you want this information kept confidential, be specific. Eg when you eventually go on leave the boss might email to tell people why, some adopters don't want this. Really you just need to make it clear.

But lots more do nots...

Do not be apologetic
Do not assume it will be a problem for the company (it may not)
Do not take responsibility for finding your adoption leave cover unless this is part of your actual job

Good luck.

Shannonlynn Wed 14-Feb-18 17:10:18

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and your advise. I took it all on board and this afternoon I informed my boss. He was pleased to her it wasn’t my notice, he congratulated me and hugged me at the end. He wanted to know how it affects them and time scales? Would I need time off work once placed, and I said yes statuary adoption leave, there was confusion and I said that I would be entitled to the same as maternity, so I’m sure they will do their research to work out how little they have to do for me as I’m not sure he believed me. He said that It was really nice that I would be having a child of my own to share with husband (that comment was really nice) there was bit of frastation with dates, but I said anywhere from 9-18 months but would inform them at each stage to best prepare them. Got told to keep them informed and of course they won’t tell anybody else in the business. They asked my plans to have time off, I said 9 months statutory but if I could afford it a year. (Avoided telling them that it would be 99% be a year) said that I then had every intention of coming back to my career and left it at that. I think it went as well as it could go, I was very happy to be met with congrats. smile it’s a good day knowing we have now been accepted to stage one smile

Italiangreyhound Wed 14-Feb-18 17:32:36

Fabulous news.

topcat2014 Wed 14-Feb-18 19:31:38

Just tell your boss, OP. I too work somewhere small (30 staff) and am in charge of finance.

Keep you head held high and don't apologise.

After all, small employers do have a choice - if they don't want the 'hassle' of staff making money for them, they can always get a PAYE job like the rest.

and I say that as someone who likes my job / employer

topcat2014 Wed 14-Feb-18 19:32:07

just RTFT - well done OP

skysparkle1 Sat 17-Feb-18 21:01:02

I work at a small national company. HR isn't the best and I spend most of my time telling them what should be done.

My manager was amazing and so supportive when I told her.

As I work for several people, I told the entire office of 8 people once we were provisionally matched so they had enough warning (about 4 weeks before Matching Panel). I didn't know until 3 days before Panel that I would then be going on Mat/adoption leave straight away.

Make sure you know your statutory rights -

I had to say 'I am entitled to 5 days full pay for adoption meetings after match' which I used for introduction week.

Also make a note of timings - you have to tell them within certain deadlines of when you will go on leave, how much etc.

Still having a battle as work wants confirmation of adoption but we have only been matched and AC has been living with us for 3 days... Clearly I am the first employee to take Adoption Leave with this company. I have left my Social Worker to deal with it as I am exhausted! Ridiculously happy, but exhausted.

Good luck xx

teekay88 Tue 20-Feb-18 07:42:17

Congrats OP! I'm really.pleased for you that the talk appeared to go well. I often am plesantly surprised that most people are much better than I think they're going to be!!

I wonder if you'd mind me piggy backing onto this thread (sorry) by asking other adopters What the deal is with employment reference if I am in temp work? I recently handed in my notice on a v stressful role in London and am planning on taking a break from high stress perm roles to do some local temping close to home while we go through the process so that I can fully give the commitment it needs. I should add that my.partner is in stable employment with a pretty good wage. I hear so many people talk about the employers reference though is it going an issue that I won't have an employer reference? My partner will and I don't know if this would help but I have 2 ex employers who I know very a ref if needed x

IAmMumWho Fri 23-Feb-18 11:52:53

Tell your bosses well before. The sooner they know the sooner leave etc can be filled. My bosses have been more than great

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