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Crass things people say to adopters

(11 Posts)
nevermindthebedsocks Wed 13-Dec-17 19:14:50

It has been 2.5 years since we adopted our 3. On (thankfully rare) occasions people have come out with some real corkers when they find out.

Is it just me? I’m off to google the list I had at the ready of “things not to say to adopters.”

My most memorable was someone who should have known better saying “didn’t you want your own?” Answer “they are my own.” There’s been others but I think I’ve blanked them out!

Anyone else?

nevermindthebedsocks Wed 13-Dec-17 19:17:58

I’ve also had number 3.

Barbadosgirl Wed 13-Dec-17 20:51:56

On my mentioning by son has birth sibs (mentioned as they have direct contact and are very present in each others' lives) "Maybe she (birth mum) should have thought about closing her legs. Don't you think?"

Emma was silenced.

Italiangreyhound Thu 14-Dec-17 03:09:10

A lovely elderly relative asked me what ds had done to get himself adopted. I said "He has done nothing."

Luckily, she is a lovely relative and did not mean it nastily at all. But people are so nosy!

hidinginthenightgarden Thu 14-Dec-17 07:08:32

Someone asked DH what we were going to do when she got older and wanted to find her “real” family. 😡

2old2beamum Thu 14-Dec-17 21:18:38

The worst thing said to us when our 2nd adopted DS died was well it is not like losing your own, it was many years ago and when another adopted DS died attitudes had not changed. Although both boys came with short life expectancy it still hurts so much. People are so hurtful and stupid.

tictoc76 Fri 15-Dec-17 16:52:27

I lose count of the amount of people that tell me our kids birth mothers should have been sterilised! Makes me so angry on so many levels - most birth mothers can’t parent because they should have been helped themselves when they were kids and my kids wouldn’t be here if we could just go around sterilising whoever society deemed not deserving of having their own choice!

Anyway rant over.

Italiangreyhound Fri 15-Dec-17 16:55:52

2old2beamum I am sure you have said that before and each time I read that I just think how F*&^ing stupid some people are. sad

tictoc I think some people think after speaking or in some cases do not think.

2old2beamum Sun 17-Dec-17 18:34:52

Sorry everyone for repeating myself but it still hurts.
Another thing that always gets my goat is, ooh you are so good fot taking on special needs children they are so lucky. No we are the lucky ones, poor little buggers have been landed with usshock. People do not see their beauty spots.

Kewcumber Sun 17-Dec-17 20:30:08

"he's so lucky" - fuck they have a warped idea of what luck looks like

"why would you do that?"

"How selfish" - that was the most baffling... normally I am told how selfless I am but it made a pleasant change.

Italiangreyhound Sun 17-Dec-17 20:34:28

2old2beamum "Sorry everyone for repeating myself but it still hurts." Please don't apologize. I only meant even though I have heard it before it is still so sad. thanks

Kewcumber selfish, how weird! thanks

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