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Does anyone ever get rejected?

(17 Posts)
LaLaLands Sun 19-Nov-17 18:30:42

Hi all, my partner and I have our panel this week. Does anyone ever hear of any rejections or referrals following panel questions? If so, what reasons might that be? I’m guessing most applications are approved given the social worker has supported it?

Thanks

Kr1st1na Sun 19-Nov-17 18:56:01

Your worker should not be taking you to panel if he / she doesn’t think that you will be approved. I assume your application has also been signed off by the senior ?

I’ve never heard of anyone being turned down. But it’s not unusual for the decision to be deferred and the family asked to go back and do more work on an issue.

Good luck to you both .

hidinginthenightgarden Sun 19-Nov-17 21:01:45

Our friends didn't were pulled out a week before as their social workers didn't feel they were ready. The second time, the SW were pulled into panel before friends and told they wouldn't get approved as PAR was missing a lot of info. 3rd time lucky and they have a lovely little girl now.

SW will take the flack if someone is turned down at panel because it shows the SW haven't done their job properly. Our SW said that about 50% never get to panel but very few are turned away when they get there.

tictoc76 Sun 19-Nov-17 21:08:33

We didn’t get rejected but also didn’t get approved. They said there were outstanding questions and had another social worker ‘look at us’ before we got approval.

tictoc76 Sun 19-Nov-17 21:09:16

BUt as others said is pretty rare. Normally if you are going to panel it is because SW is confident you are going to be approved

bostonkremekrazy Sun 19-Nov-17 21:29:34

Its very very rare to not be approved. Sometimes as PP say they dont' approve you that day - normally for questions to be asked. SW should give you an idea if there is anything questionable or outstanding.
I know of only 1 couple that were not approved - they were advised not to go to panel, but went ahead anyways - as is an adopters right, and were refused, they appealed and were refused again.

TunnelofLove485 Sun 19-Nov-17 21:46:39

Yes, a couple from our courses were turned away at panel. Well, they got into the room and the members said there were concerns with their report and the panel couldn’t happen that day. Turned out the social worker had buggered it up somehow and they never did try again. Our social worker put us through hell to iron out some potential concerns she thought panel had. She was spot on though, they commented positively on it all and put us through. You should not be going to panel if there is any doubt however it does happen.

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis Thu 30-Nov-17 12:09:19

My friends were rejected on grounds of mental health. I've never understood it tbh because they are a couple in their 40's, no children, own outright (no mortgage) a 3 bed semi detached house plus a 1 bed flat. Both have solid, stable employment with good income, him full time, her 3 days a week, but he has been treated for anxiety and depression and her for depression. The irony is it is their lack of 'family' that has caused their depression. They have so much to offer but have been old their history of 'mental illness' is the reason they're not considered suitable adopters.

Jellycatspyjamas Thu 30-Nov-17 19:04:05

That's really strange, I had two significant periods of mental illness during our assessment process (i.e. two 4 month absences from work due to work related stress and anxiety). We had a long road to approval while it was checked out thoroughly - and I underwent long term therapy and made a number of life changes to help improve my mental health. As a result we were approved easily - in fact the chair of the panel commented saying he could see strengths in me in the way I had dealt with my illness that would be protective for me as a parent.

If they were rejected due to mental ill health it's maybe been about the way they've approached it in the assessment process or some unresolved issues because a history of mental illness isn't in itself a barrier.

thomassmuggit Thu 30-Nov-17 21:17:01

I doubt they got rejected at panel, either. Any 'rejections' happen long before panel.

Not everyone understands why they're turned down, the process isn't always right, or fair, and different agencies take different views. Mental illness isn't a bar, if you are well enough to parent an adopted child. Not everyone shares exactly why they were 'rejected', either.

thomassmuggit Thu 30-Nov-17 21:18:07

Sorry, that's not to Tunnel, obviously you said they were rejected at panel. That is appalling, that poor family.

If you are rejected at panel, it's the social worker's fault.

Kewcumber Thu 30-Nov-17 21:27:38

There was a couple on my prep course who rumour has it were subsequently rejected but quite likely before panel. To be honest, they were so wildly inappropriate to be parents of any child much less an adopted child that I can't work out how they even got as far as the prep course.

Prep course question to our particular group (working through how/when to tell a child of the particualr circumstnaces) - "what would you say to a child who was the product of the rape of their birth mother when 12 by her step father who was now serving a prison sentence for the rape.

Potential father "Well at least you could say it's nice that child's birth father loved their birth mother"

We all looked like this ====> shock

Social worker muttered something like "well I was thinking more along the lines of at what age and how much detail would/should you tell a child"

Kewcumber Thu 30-Nov-17 21:28:34

oh and I was delayed at panel pending additional medical reports and subsequently passed about 2 months later without having to reattend panel.

Ketzele Thu 30-Nov-17 23:42:06

There was a man on my prep course who had a spooky obsession with women in prison - it was all he talked about, he wasn't interested in adopting a child from any other situation. I very much doubt he got through.

Frozengeranium Fri 01-Dec-17 08:54:26

We know ofa few couples who were delayed significantly due to their birth children not being prepared enough. They all eventually got accepted though.
We know of one couple from our prep course who were rejected. Not sure why, but they certainly weren’t people we wanted to make friends with.

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis Fri 01-Dec-17 15:06:59

Thomas that's exactly why I said I couldn't/still can't understand it. Perhaps there was more to the story.

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis Fri 01-Dec-17 15:07:45

Oops meant to say to that to Jelly too

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