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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Night time fear

(3 Posts)
CompletelyUnknown Sat 11-Nov-17 23:26:33

So it’s been almost 4 months that we’ve had DD (1) and I’m so unbelievably in love with her I can’t describe it.

The problem is that the adoption is contested and will be at least another 6 months I think. SW have been amazing and went to great lengths to reassure us that it’s just a matter of time and she’s going nowhere. BUT that doesn’t stop the struggle to get to sleep and that I wake up in the night with the fear that we might lose her and her us.

We are first mummy and daddy and everyday there’s something new. My DH’s BS adores her and vice versa and the fear that we may all lose each other is sometimes too much to bear.

Does anyone else have this or have experienced this? I really couldn’t cope with any horror stories so please be nice.

comehomemax Sat 11-Nov-17 23:44:21

I totally understand. My son's birth family contested and we went through 6 hearings before the AO was granted. I struggled at night - nightmares and fears took over and my mind would race. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him but couldn't stop my brain picturing scenarios where it could happen.

One thing that helped was pushing the LA to give us funding for independent legal advice. We only needed 2 meetings but knowing someone independent had our back was a huge relief (communication from the LA was so poor).

Other than that, just keep living your life and getting on with things. You can't speed this up or control it but the number of successfully contested orders is negligible and all were unusual situation. You won't lose each other, just live your life as much as possible.

CompletelyUnknown Sun 12-Nov-17 07:21:37

Thanks. We’re really lucky that our LA are amazing and they have fully funded separate legal advice who also are amazing. It just doesn’t stop the panic. I had a night of it last night. I can’t talk to DH about it as I don’t want him to have the same panic (I know he has it too).

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