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Adopting

(3 Posts)
Fostermummyto1 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:31:16

Good evening all me and my fiance are foster carers. We've had a little girl in our care since birth, she's now nearly 10 months old.
The birth parents who aren't together have recently been told that they can't have her.
Well after the birth dad found out he wouldn't be having his daughter (he's violence and is short tempered) a couple from his family have suddenly decided they want an assessment to have the little one but before now they haven't had anything to do with her even when she was very ill and in intensive care in a induced coma. They met the little one for the very first time last week.
The little one's social worker isn't happy about them having an assessment because the birth dad lives with them.

Me and my fiance really want to adopt the little one as we love her so much, she means the world to us and we've got a good bond.

The couple's assessment is going to take 2 months and it's all going to court the beginning of next year, by then the little one will be 13 months old. I've been told we got a good chance of adopting her once we've had her in our care for 12 months and 1 day.
This is the first time we've gone through anything like this so just wondering how do we go about things, do we tell social services that we want to adopt her once we've got to the 12 month stage x

hidinginthenightgarden Tue 24-Oct-17 21:43:01

I would tell them now. Then they will come straight to you if the assessment fails.

donquixotedelamancha Fri 27-Oct-17 16:06:21

Yeah, agree with nightgarden. If you surprise SS after 12 months with an AO application, there are a number of negative consequences:

1. You devastate some potential adopters who, by then, are getting their head around a match.
2. It looks deceptive, which does not look good to the court.
3. It would probably ruin your chances of future adoptions and FC.

There is a good chance that the type of placement you describe with BF may not be suitable. By discussing the possibility of adoption now, you give the SW another option. The positives, in terms of attachment and bond with the child, from you adopting will mean you have a good chance.

If it doesn't work out the way you want, please be as supportive as possible of the new parents. I know you will want to be, but that will be a really hard time and you'll need to get your heads straight about how to make it as smooth as possible.

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