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Adopting whilst working in Child Care

(10 Posts)
Susi1602 Mon 23-Oct-17 14:38:56

Hi everyone,

I am new here and thought I would join today. My hubby and I are enquiring about adoption.
We are in our mid/end 30's and hubby has a good job.
The situation is that I am working as a Nanny.
Years ago when I went through IVF, one of my previous employers fired me the day before egg collection.
I had a contract with them and had worked there for several years and she fired me with no notice.
I contacted acas and found out that I was due a month pay as what she did was illegal.
Both rounds of IVF I lost the pregnancy and the last round ended up being ectopic.

Now due to this bad experience with the previous boss I am worried about telling my current boss that we would like to adopt.
Ideally I would like to only mention it once we know that we will be accepted but I know that some agencies want work references.
I am hoping that they would only need my husbands work reference as I know that my job would most likely come to end after a year or two anyway. I can't see my employer taking me back after adoption leave.
I have a contract with my employer but there is no mention of maternity or adoption leave.
I am aware that we would have to go to meetings with the social worker and on training courses and I have no idea how this would work with my job.

I am worried that I will lose my job due to us wanting to adopt. Unfortunately I have learned that not all bosses are understanding of IVF or Adoption.

It's just crazy that we have to mention it all right at the start cause it's not like that anyone would tell their work that they are trying for a baby.
Are there any other Nannies or people working with children on here that have experience with talking to their employer about starting the Adoption process and how did they react?

Thanks everyone smile

Thepinklady77 Mon 23-Oct-17 16:00:01

I am not in England and I assume you probably are so hopefully someone will be on soon to advise absolutes in he case of England but I would be surprised if they let you get through stage 1 without checking current employers references. Your concern is mainly to do with the fact that you work for an individual rather than a company where there is policy in place to protect you. Rather than worry about whether you can convince social services not to ask your employer for a reference focus now on getting clear what your legal employment rights are. I suspect the very least is that they have to protect your job to the end of the contract if they discover your are thinking about adoption. Once you know your rights then you can go to your employer to let them know your intention armed with the legal backup to keep your job protected. How long is left on your contract? If there is still a year or so left to run on it then you should be ok because you will hopefully be approved and getting close to a placement etc. by the time they would be in the position to end your employment and I strongly suspect you will not be wanting to return to that position post adoption. Are you employed or self-employed. If you are self employed then you will not be entitled to any paid adoption leave and will have to show the SW's how you can financially afford a year off with no pay. Hopefully you can live on your husbands salary. Anyway I would go into the process expecting your employers to know early on. You will need some leave for training and meetings. Most people use annual leave but I imagine there is not a great deal of flexibility with your annual leave. Very few are entitled to paid leave from there jobs to undertake meetings prior to approval. Good luck as you begin tot explore.

exercisejunkie Mon 23-Oct-17 17:34:57

Hi, I'm a nanny and have just been approved, i'm at work at the moment but will pm you later.

Susi1602 Mon 23-Oct-17 17:53:32

Hi,
Thepinklady77, thank you for your reply.
I live in Scotland and I am employed by the family I work for.
I get 6 weeks paid holiday and I can't take any flexible annual leave or holidays as the family needs like 3 months notice or ideally more than that.
My contract was at first for 2 years but then they had another baby so there are still 2.5 years left on my contract.
I will look into all the legal things but I had that one case where a family refused to give me a reference as they took me wanting a child very badly.
It was terrible cause there seemed nothing I could do. They refused to write me a reference and they didn't pick up the phone either.
I have very good references from previous jobs and I have over 16 years working experience with children.
But I am thinking if my current boss will take this badly and won't give me a reference then I will try and go self employed or change job to something out of child care before we go properly into the adoption process.
It just would be so much easier if us Nannies were a bit more protected.
I know there is acas and bapn. The British Association for Professional Nannies.
So I will give them a call soon.
Thanks again.
Exercisejunky, thank you. I look forward to your reply smile

Ted27 Mon 23-Oct-17 19:44:11

I think you need to be realistic. You work in child care, of course they will need to check your employers reference.

as pink lady suggests you need to focus on sorting out your emlpyment rights

Susi1602 Tue 24-Oct-17 15:54:01

Hi everyone, OK so I thought I'd post after my dh and I had a chat about it all last night.
We're moving house soon and our new house needs a bit of work done to it. Mostly new floors and decorating. So we will do all that first and then I'll save up some money for a few months as well, so that I have savings for when we start the Adoption process.
I am sure that I won't get any adoption pay as a Nanny? At least not if my job won't exist after taking a year off.

It will most likely take up to a year to get all our ducks in order. And by the time that we enquire about the adoption again there will only be a year left on my contract anyway.

I will still look at the legal side of things but I am sure that my employers would be okay with it then as they won't lose their Nanny before the contract runs out! smile

And yes I guess it totally makes sense that social workers would want my employers reference given that I work with children.
I have a lot of very good references from previous employers but I will do my very best to be open throughout the process with my current employer and to see it all from their point as well. Hopefully they will give me a good reference in return.
Thanks for your replies everyone smile

Hels20 Tue 24-Oct-17 17:26:24

I don’t know if employment law is different in Scotland to england, but of course you will get adoption leave and pay. Which is 90% of your salary for first six weeks and then about £140 a week for the next 33 or 39 weeks (can’t quite remember). She also can’t fire you - and if she does, you would be able to claim unlawful discrimination which pays out more in an employment tribunal.

UnderTheNameOfSanders Tue 24-Oct-17 19:59:59

I can't advise specifically, but when you do tell them, you can stress to your employers that the adoption process takes ages so they might as well stick with you as they might no longer need a nanny by the time you are approved and matched...

thomassmuggit Tue 24-Oct-17 21:55:31

I'm not sure adoption is a protected characteristic for employment tribunals. Pregnancy is, but as both men and women can adopt, it won't come under sex discrimination. And it's hard enough to prove things when you're sacked when pregnant, let alone if you're sacked for being in the adoption process.

I think sanders has the right idea- paint a picture of a reeeeeeally long process that will probably last the 2.5 years you have left. And if it isn't that long, then, oh dear.

Susi1602 Tue 24-Oct-17 22:34:59

Thanks everyone for your replies.
I will definitely explain to them that the process will take a long time! I mean some people actually do wait around 1.5 to 2 years by the time they are matched!
I will also call Acas and see how it works with adoption leave etc.
But as thomassmuggit says I agree and also think that it can be difficult to prove why someone is really sacked! (Unless it's totally obvious and they say why of course).
Thanks again everyone smile

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