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(9 Posts)
Changename1988 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:50:31

Basically this is my first Christmas with my 2 children. We are meant to go to my mum's and brother and sil and their 2 children are coming home (live in another country) this will be first time my children will meet my brothers family. However i just found out SIL wants to bring her niece as well. All our children apart from the sil niece the niece is 14. How can talk to my brother as i feel it might be bad choice for the first visit.

TunnelofLove485 Tue 17-Oct-17 21:31:50

Why would it be a bad choice?

whyioughtta Tue 17-Oct-17 22:17:10

How long have the kids been with you? Assume they've met your parents already & know them well? Either way sounds very intense for your kids & all advice we've been given says don't overwhelm them for first Xmas just keep it low key & quiet. Could you just see your DB, SIL et al for a few hours? Already just meeting them & cousins will be big deal, not sure ur SIL niece makes much if any difference really

Italiangreyhound Wed 18-Oct-17 09:14:58

1988 will you be staying with your parents?

I am not sure the 14 year old makes a huge difference to be honest but what might make a difference is staying in a hotel/b and b or whatever and being able to get away and put kids to bed etc, keep normal routine if necessary.

Changename1988 Wed 18-Oct-17 09:23:44

They have been with us since June. We would be spending day with mum. I guess I'm worried there might be to many people. I might rethink Christmas slightly to ease the pressure off the children

Allington Wed 18-Oct-17 09:43:10

Perhaps go for a couple of hours, not a whole day? You know your children best, and what they can cope with, just make sure you have the flexibility on the day so you can monitor. I wouldn't have thought an additional 14 year old would tip the balance though?

Changename1988 Wed 18-Oct-17 09:52:18

Ok thank you all for your advice

AngelsWithSilverWings Wed 18-Oct-17 13:49:48

I honestly think that with it being only 6 months after placement that you need to be in your own home for Christmas. We didn't even go on a holiday together until our DC had been with us for a year. I don't know how old your DC are or how many foster placements they have had before being adopted but being away from home and surrounded by lots of new people could trigger all sorts of problems.

AngelsWithSilverWings Wed 18-Oct-17 13:51:14

Sorry , just realised that you meant just spending the day and not staying at your mums. Apologies

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