Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Impact of changing job(6 Posts)
I'm sorry for 2 posts in one day but something has been on my mind and I wanted to see if I could get some advice from people who have been through a similar situation. I worked for my previous company for 8 years but left 6 months ago to join a new company. Since joining the new company I have had a pretty horrible experience. I was borderline bullied by my manager for the first few months. Thankfully he has now left but the job remains one that makes me very unhappy due to the toxic environment and the culture of the organisation. I have been thinking of some time of making a move from working in London at this job that is really impacting on my stress levels and moving to a job that is lower pressure and closer to home. The main reason is stress - I want to be able to put everything into the adoption process and I think it would hugely benefit me to firstly be nearer home, but not to have additional pressures of this unhappy just whilst going through the process.
I am concerned though that as we are so early on in the adoption process (i.e. just starting out) the SWs if we progress to apply for adoption are going to view this as a "major life event" and postpone things on this basis. The irony of this is that if anything it would be a positive move that would leave me with less stress and more ability to engage with the process but I'm concerned they wouldn't see it this way. I'm also worried that it will affect things like the employer reference as if I'm new in another job or transitioning, that this would halt things.
On paper (and in practice) on my partner's wage alone, and as we have some savings, our finances would not be under any significant strain. I'm just aware that any life changes are seen in a certain light because the SW won't have the context of why it's actually a beneficial move rather than a detrimental one.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place as the timing of my partner agreeing to go ahead with adoption has coincided with a time where I really feel it would be beneficial to make a change in job and lifestyle, but after all the years waiting to have adoption open to me, I don't want to sabotage.
I'd be grateful for any advice from those who have been in a similar situation - how long do the agencies like you to have been in your job for the reference and how likely is it that this will be a barrier for us to progress if I decide to leave my role?
I moved jobs in the middle if what used to be called homestudy. It delayed me by six months because I didnt want to start a new job and on day 1 have to ask for a reference.
Yes is frustrating but not much time really in the grand scheme of things. SW was happy because the job had much better terms and conditions including adoption leave.
If you explain about reduced stress levels, less travelling time I can't see why SW should have a problem.
Als bear in mind you will have to wait before you qualify for adoption benefits,
So it may result in a delay but probably worth it in the long run
I left my job in the middle of homestudy too - after two periods of absence for work related stress. It did delay things a bit (couple of months) just until I got settled but the new job was much better for children and the SW could see the reason for the change.
Thanks both when you say it delayed things do you mean that the delay was SW lead in that they then asked you to take a break from the process or do you mean that you paused things because you didn't want the employer to know straight away that you were adopting? Just trying to understand what angle it may delay things from. The length of time for adoption benefits to kick in would presumably be reached by the time I got anywhere near matching anyhow?
In our case it was SW led, but I had been very unwell and looking back needed a period of stability so she was right to delay for a couple of months after I started. Our process was far from straightforward for lots of reasons and each agency will have their own views about the degree to which a change of job will impact potential adopters.
If you think you're going to go back to work after adoption leave, you want to be (or your DP to be) in a local job with fairly predictable hours. AC don't always do well with childcare/wraparound care/nurseries as other kids. You will have run of the mill working mum kid-stress and you'll likely have some kind of additional adopted kid stress. So a gentler job would be good, so you should move now. If it delays things, it delays them, but it's worth having your ducks in a row.
However, if you're thinking at all about not going back, it's maybe not worth the effort of moving. I only say that because you mentioned you could live on DHs salary and because I, completely unexpectedly, decided not to go back (or more accurately I work vvvv part time). I never expected that for a moment as I'd always been fairly career driven but equally it was obvious what was best for my kids. Ofc, all kids are different and some/many AC will do just fine in childcare, but might be worth a think.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.