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When did you tell people about your match?

(7 Posts)
BewilderedBeaver Fri 06-Oct-17 20:15:26

We have a birth child and are very soon going to matching panel for a match that SWs are very confident will go ahead. Things will move quickly after panel so we are preparing birth child and getting things we need ready. Birth child knows the child's first name and an approximate age. This afternoon she excitedly told a group of her friends about her. I had a slight panic but then thought does it really matter?? Our close friends and family know an approximate age and first name too and everyone is getting very excited at what will hopefully be the imminent arrival. I just wondered how other people handled this stage especially with birth children? How much did you tell people and when? I can help feeling anxious that people know but then I am also someone who told friends and family early in my pregnancy with birth child because if it hadn't worked out I would have wanted their support. Do I need to duct tape my daughters mouth until panel?!! winkgrin or shall I just relax as the chance of this not going ahead is in SWs words very tiny!

bellasuewow Fri 06-Oct-17 21:26:15

How exciting well done you. I told close friends who were adopters very early on. As we progressed through the matching process it became more and more obvious that it was a good match and very likely to go ahead. We have just started intros which are going very well so we are planning to send out photos and cards very soon to family and friends. Such an exiting time and good luck with it all. If they are confident to send you to panel then it is extremely likely to go well, maybe hold off on the duct tape for now😁

OlennasWimple Fri 06-Oct-17 21:37:55

We didn't tell anyone other than our parents the details until after the matching panel approved the match. Apart from anything else, if it had gone wrong for some reason, I couldn't have taken everyone asking us about her.

I thought of matching panel like a satisfactory 12 week scan - things are much more certain at that point, but there isn't necessarily any harm done if information is shared before then.

drsholmes Sat 07-Oct-17 08:14:01

The sw told us to tell our birth child early so she had time to prepare. She has told everybody at school, Rainbows, etc as she is soooo excited.
Matching panel is next week and I am praying that the social workers have got it right otherwise I’m going to have a broken hearted daughter. 🤞

BewilderedBeaver Sat 07-Oct-17 10:08:02

Drsholmes it sounds like we are in a very similar position then!! I'm sure social workers wouldn't tell us to prepare our children unless they were absolutely sure it is going to happen but you can't help but have that niggling worry can you?!

It would be great if you would be happy to keep on touch? As it seems like we are in a similar position with similar timescales!

drsholmes Sat 07-Oct-17 18:21:31

Sure, how old is your little girl? Pm me 😊

hidinginthenightgarden Mon 09-Oct-17 07:03:08

We told everyone! We also had a birth child before adopting who we knew was going to tell everyone so there was no point keeping it secret.

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