I'm currently going through the adoption approval process, and I feel like my head is bursting with all the books I've been trying to absorb! I already have a 5yo BC, and one of my goals is to implement a therapeutic parenting style from now, so it's not yet another change DD has to cope with when her new sibling comes home.
At this point I've read hundreds quite a few books on adoption and I've found some incredibly helpful (Sally Donovan's Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting) and others less so (Margot Sunderland's What Every Parent Needs to Know). Most focus heavily on the reasons why adopted children may exhibit disruptive behaviours, and techniques which will help to build attachment and therefore hopefully reduce disruptive behaviour over time. This is great, of course, but I can't find anything on what you do IN THE MOMENT when a child is "misbehaving".
For example, sometimes my DD will just wake up on the wrong side of bed, and can be very rude / snappy at me. When she was younger I would give her a 2 minute time-out in the room we happened to be in, and now she's a bit older I would typically send her to her room for a few minutes before going up myself and talking about the importance of family / being kind and polite. I am well aware that these techniques would not be suitable or effective for a child who has been through loss and trauma. What would be the right thing to do at that moment for an AC? How do you set boundaries whilst still providing security and nuturing attachment?
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Practical therapeutic parenting techniques for setting boundaries
23 replies
FoldedAndUnfoldedAndUnfolding · 30/09/2017 15:04
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