LO's social worker visit

[BewilderedBeaver]

We have recently been told about a little one that social workers and we believecto be a really good match for us. Next step is their SW coming to visit us. Can anyone share their experience of this and also give us an idea of what would be useful to ask at this point. The LO is very young and we feel the CPR is very thorough. We don't have any burning questions but we don't want to forget to ask important things because we are blindsided by the idea of LO! Thanks

[GirlsWhoWearGlasses]

How exciting! You may want to think of some answers to questions they will ask you, for example, how would you meet LO's needs, why would you be a good match etc. In my experience this visit is about selling yourself to the SW rather than vice versa. You could always ask for clarification of their current point in the legal process or if they are meeting their developmental goals though. Best of luck.

[hidinginthenightgarden]

Our experience wasn't great actually. We couldn't think of much to ask her and it was a little awkward. As a result the SW expressed that she felt we were not excited enough about the match. We had to really over exaggerate when we saw videos from her FC the following day and really prove ourselves to be wanting of DD.
It was ridiculous really as a stranger walked into my house and spoke to us in a scenario that we had never endured before about something quite important. I assumed the natural reaction to this would not involve being over excited and jolly etc. Apparently we were wrong!

[TripleB32]

I remember feeling incredibly nervous with this visit! I cooked nibbles (for about 10 people!) which went down well. I also prepared a 'brochure' about the area that we lived in to show what parks, facilities etc we had close by.
We had prepared questions based on their CPR's in terms of their needs. But mainly we asked what our children were like in person, what their personalities were like etc as at that point we had only seen one photo.
Good luck! It's really not that scary but you will of course feel incredibly nervous in the run up to it. Such an exciting time for you.

[Rainatnight]

Definitely get yourself in the mindset of needing to sell yourself. As Girl says, think of the questions they're likely to ask you and how you'd respond. It's like a job interview in that sense.

Also, are you the only people under consideration? I'd want to know that.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

Ours was pretty straightforward- their SW came with questions about us and why these children (a sibling pair) and we had a good chat about their respective personalities and needs and whether we felt able to meet those needs and why. For us it was quite a nice part of the process - good luck!

[BewilderedBeaver]

Thank you all, feeling much better prepared now! Epic house clean is underway, bedroom is looking homely and equipped with vital things, we have re read the report and talked about how we will deal with specific things mentioned. Feel much less anxious now. Keeping everything firmly crossed!!

[Italiangreyhound]

OP good luck.

I'd ask about medical questions, any issues.

I'd be enthusiastic about what you can offer and the benefits of your local area etc.

Our meeting was a little odd as our birth daughter gave our visitors a puppet show, which helped to break the ice.

I think although it is understandable that you may not feel totally 'sold on' the idea of this or that child, the social workers are making an impossibly difficult situation. They are making a decision about a child's life, I would imagine they will want to find an adopter/couple/family who are excited about this child, aware of any possible issues and up for challenges, ready and willing to ask for and accept help if it is needed.

My goodness it is a challenge, I can see that. I think we were lucky, we were quite sure about our little boy, we just felt very positive about him. We were told not to consider it was a forgone conclusion at matching panel but obviously some one we really wanted.

I think if I were a social worked (I am not) I would want to see a person who had thought about this child and was really interested in that child, not just a baby or any baby etc. So this is hard because there is not a massive amount to say about a small baby. I think I'd want to feel these parents are a safe pair of hands, they are ready. But in a really relaxed and nice way.

Good luck.

[DaddyYannis]

OP if it's not too late, I would echo the advice about selling yourself. Be enthusiastic. Think about the specific qualities that make you a good match for LO. Ask questions about him or her to find out a bit more what they are like as a person - will help you come across as interested in them.

Our visit was completely not what we expected, SWs were very relaxed and familiar with us whereas we are normally somewhat formal and like to be thorough and prepared. We just went with it and were linked soon after. The feedback was that they liked how we were prepared for their questions and anticipated them - think about the early days, how LO will settle in and what you will do to cope with it.

Good luck!

[BewilderedBeaver]

Thank you
Not too late and all the advice is much appreciated

[SprigofRosemary]

Stock up on tea and biscuits. I remember our social worker told us to make the house homely and inviting and to have the biscuit tin out! LO room wasn't decorated at that point and our sw told us to put a temporary cot in (sister lent us one!) and to dress it up so that she could envision what the room could be like for lo once decorated. To be honest, our sw was really good at preparing us and made the point that we were selling ourselves and she had to have a positive feel for us. Our LO was a baby so there were only so many questions we could ask really as we already knew her routine! We did ask why she had chosen us though, what qualities did she think we would bring. She was happy to answer that. Try to remain calm!