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Moody DH

(7 Posts)
user1471555041 Thu 14-Sep-17 22:31:47

Firstly apologies for the long post. Our lo has been home almost a year and my husband is finding it hard that we don't get to spend as much time together and he's not the focus of my attention. Our lo who's 18 months has had a tough few months, ended up in hospital on holiday, had some building work done on our house which has been very disruptive and I'm due to return to work so easing her into nursery which is making her so anxious her separation anxiety is through the roof, she really needs me close all the time. My DH leaves the house at 7 and doesn't get home until gone 7 in the evening. I'm trying to juggle doing everything at home inc having to also spend time with my son who's just started college. My DH doesn't underatand that I'm frazzled by the time he gets back and that's before making his dinner, tidying up from the day etc. He sulks that he's not getting the time that he wants from me and his moods are driving me mad 😡. Not really sure what advice I'm after just venting and wondering if I'm the only one!

drsholmes Fri 15-Sep-17 06:57:35

I remember when my first daughter arrived, my husband felt neglected. Understandably too. I have a counsellor friend and she advised that you share your hobbies with your husband. I watch tv to relax after a really long day so she told me to buy a tv for the bedroom and get in bed and watch it together - it sounds so small and silly but the closeness of being in bed together was just so simple and it helped us reconnect.
It does take effort though, finding time to spend together.

hidinginthenightgarden Fri 15-Sep-17 13:26:10

My husband was the same.
When made an effort to have grandparents around so lo was eventually comfortable enough to be left for a couple of hours every now and then. It really helped us reconnect.

Italiangreyhound Fri 15-Sep-17 17:47:28

Work out what he needs and try and address that. Is it reassurance you still love him, is it time, is it sex, is it support -you do not need to supply it but at least you will know what he feels he 'needs'.

Just out of interest how much tidying is there to do? If you are not yet back at work and you are home in the day, do you need to tidy when he is home or just before?

Can you have all the to us out earlier in the day and have limited or quieter options I'm late afternoon.

Does your toddler go to bed before he gets home?

Maybe he would rather have your company than a tidy house.

Is your older child able to help so you are not too frazzled?

Are you slaving over a hit stove when your hubby would prefer steak and oven chips and more of your time?

Sadly, his being 'moody' and 'sulky' is probably pretty unappealing. It sounds like he works very ing hours. Does he need to be out 7-7?

I think you both need to sit down and work out what you can both do to make quality time together.

It is tough, no easy answers. When you govbscj to work things will be quite pressed unless you can find a way to prioritize what is important for you both and the kids.

When you work out how to do it, come back and tell us how!

flowers

Italiangreyhound Fri 15-Sep-17 17:48:13

Long hours

user1471555041 Wed 20-Sep-17 11:38:18

Thank you for taking the time to respond and apologies for my late reply. I think I was getting so worried at the thought of going back to work and lo starting nursery that everything seemed so overwhelming even DH and his "moods". Things are much better this week, into a routing settling lo at nursery and all our building work has finished so can finally relax even if it's only for a week before going back to work! Thank you again for your replies flowers

Italiangreyhound Wed 20-Sep-17 21:55:59

Good news. thanks

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