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Forced Adoption

(14 Posts)
Natash11 Thu 31-Aug-17 22:31:08

Hi. I am 17 years old and am reaching the end of care proceedings where my new born child was placed on an interim care order. everything was going well and she was being rehabilitated back into my care.
I have been seeing a psychologist from Camhs who was determining if i had an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. on our second session she visited in my home for the purpose of conducting tests. My child was on an unsupervised contact with myself during the visit so my partner held her, while on a chair in the same room to leave me free to do what was needed. However, the next day my social worker said the psychologist had concerns because i do not have an attachment to my daughter because i did not glance up at her enough throughout the hour session with her.
The Local authority have now decided not to rehabilitate my daughter back to me but are going for forced adoption on the weight of what the psychologist said.
Can someone explain if it is at all possible for a psychologist to actually determine this in such a short space of time.
everything has been positive up until then with other professionals stating there is definitely an attachment between us. Thanks

OP’s posts: |
mymindisabridged Thu 31-Aug-17 23:12:30

You need a solicitor.

Not wanting to be unsympathetic, but it won't be the psychologist, or the social workers, that will make the placement order, which will allow an adoption placement to be made, it will be a judge. To argue your case in front of a judge, you need good quality legal advice. And you need it fast.

You need a solicitor. A good solicitor. You don't need an internet forum, with mainly adoptive parents, a few adoptees, and maybe one or two birth parents.

hidinginthenightgarden Fri 01-Sep-17 06:15:53

What the psychologist said is not enough for them to change their minds. They must have other concerns. I would ask for a meeting with your SW to determine what these are and if you can be allowed some time to work on them before they make this final decision.

tumbleweedindeed Fri 01-Sep-17 08:47:42

I think that mymindisabridged gives really good advice. In addition, you can also contact the Family Rights Group (I think the website is and talk to someone there as you will be able to go into more detail with them about what has happened to you and get some advice or help. I have never spoken to them but they are an organisation which seeks to help families to stay together and to provide advice or help to people who need it. They may provide help about finding the right solicitor, though I am not sure. I would try to avoid using the term "forced adoption" because it means different things to different people. I hope it all goes well.

donquixotedelamancha Fri 01-Sep-17 09:18:10

I strongly agree with both of the above posts. I have no personal experience of this end of adoption, but I will repeat some very good advice I've seen elsewhere that fits with my experience of SW.

1. Engage with the SWs. It is hard when you feel someone is judging you, but few children are taken from parents who engage with the care process. Attend all meetings. If they ask you to do something to show you want to get your child back- do it.

2. The SWs are ordinary people who want what's best for you, but mostly for your child. Their job is to decide the best course for your child- not an easy one. Your job is to show that your child will be safe and cared for by you.

3. When you speak to SW be polite and positive- I know that's hard. Emphasise how much you want your daughter back and that you want to work with them. That doesn't mean being a pushover, but it means not being angry or abusive. As much as possible, you want them on your side.

4. There will be real reasons this has happened. There will be stuff you have struggled with that your daughter needs. Be clear on exactly what that is and try to fix it. When you meet a goal that the SW asked for, show them and make sure its recorded.

5. Write everything down. Write notes of each meeting, perhaps in the meeting. Be very clear with the things you want to happen. If something is important, repeat it and ask for them to write it down or confirm in an email. Ask for the support you want. If SW don't comeback to you, chase them (politely). They will have few people in your position initiating contact and even if it doesn't work it looks good.

6. Get professional help. A solicitor will be paid for by legal aid if you are in care proceedings. You could also try CAB, your own SW, youth support services, charities. Take all the letters you've received and notes of meetings. Try to be organised and clear about what has happened so far.

7. There are some excellent resources and support groups online. Please be careful- there are some terrible website with awful advice about how to 'fight' the process. You are looking for professional organisations that can offer smart professional help. Ranting idiots might make you feel better, but will not help get your daughter back.

I think your best bet for online support might be FRG, this is their forum and website.

There is a good post on the process and how to stop it here

Useful organisation here

Apologies for being long winded. Good luck.

fasparent Fri 01-Sep-17 10:16:10

Suggest you engage a 3rd party for such meeting's who are independent
and non judgmental but be there for you as support. An advocacy may be the right direction.

hackneyLass Fri 01-Sep-17 20:17:10

Another vote for the Family Rights Group. I found them the most useful organisation in our family struggles. Their phone line is 0808 801 0366 Mon-Fri, 9.30am-3pm. And a good lawyer - you are definitely entitled to legal aid.

Natash11 Sat 02-Sep-17 17:05:58

Thanks everyone for your fab advice! including the links which I have been reading and I now feel in a better position to deal with the situation. I really appreciate it!!

OP’s posts: |
Sequence Sat 02-Sep-17 17:25:27

Isn't a low amount of eye contact typical with ASD? So why would it be unexpected if that's what the psychologist was assessing?

How did the other professionals describe your attachment to your DD?

fasparent Mon 04-Sep-17 02:00:31

Hi sorry too here your situation. We Are Foster Parents and have experience of youngsters in your situation. We have used this service
on a few occasion's with great success. It is aimed at keeping young family's together and offers on going visitation support for 3 years., helps with education, housing, assigns a worker too you who visit's every week too see all is OK. see . would contact them

GingerAndTheBiscuits Mon 04-Sep-17 02:20:07

You may find this blog helpful - - she is a also on twitter though has recently suffered a bereavement so not sure if she's in a position to respond. Good legal advice is absolutely critical.

fasparent Mon 04-Sep-17 02:22:48

Sorry clicked to soon.
Would contact them tell the social worker and your solicitor , this is the type of support you would like. Think it may be the right direction too go
Good luck.

OurMiracle1106 Tue 05-Sep-17 22:02:34

I'm a birth parent.
Definitely get a solicitor. Research the law firm before going ahead as it can be hard to transfer legal aid which you should get.

Engage with social services. Push for a diagnosis if you are autistic. Speak to them about getting help with developing attachment with you Daughter.

Research autism. Find support groups and attend. Reach out to your local children's centre and self refer to a community family
Worker (some are based at children's centres close to where I live)

The more support you have the greater the chance of getting your daughter home.

Best wishes.
Mum to a birth child. flowers

Italiangreyhound Sat 09-Sep-17 20:17:57

Natash how is it going? Thinking of you.

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