When did you notify your workplace

[Allgrownup3]

I am just starting stage 2. I have had my references submitted but have not yet told my line manager or any of my colleagues that I'm going through the adoption process.

Can anyone tell me when is the best time to inform work? Did anyone wait until after their approval panel?

[luckylucky24]

We had to tell work quite early as they got references from them. Also I wanted to be able to explain why I was having so much time off. I knew my employer would be supportive and so telling her meant I had more flexibility when having meetings as I didn't have to hide anything.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I told my manager when I needed a reference but didn't tell my colleagues until it looked like we were going to be linked. I didn't want folk asking me how the process was going when it all felt very uncertain for me.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

HR knew quite early due to references. (large site 300 or so people).

I think I didn't tell my line manager until we had a possible link (i.e. were only couple going forward) but may have said something earlier.
I definitely did say to line manager and main co-worker when we had the link so we could do quiet handover of activities to other team members.

Only told rest of (small) team after matching panel. That was fun, all blokes, not too bothered when I said we were adopting, sat up and took notice when I said I had 4.5 working days left!

You wouldn't tell work if you were ttc, so don't tell them you are approved to adopt! One of our friends took 2.5 years after approval, we were ~18months between approval and intros.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

We had a flexi time system so didn't needed time off for home-study.

[luckylucky24]

I will say, if I thought it would be a long wait after approval I wouldn't have told many people.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

The thing is, you don't want to be passed over for promotion, extra training, extra hours or whatever because they think you might be disappearing. You don't want them to find an excuse to make you redundant (you aren't protected like a pregnancy).
I also didn't want people asking me 'any news?' the whole time.

[Rainatnight]

I told my boss at around the stage you are now, but my circumstances were (a) huge public sector organisation that's pretty bullet proof about rights etc and (b) incredibly cool boss whom I trusted absolutely.

My departure at short notice would have caused a huge headache for my boss, and she'd been really super to me, so I kept her informed every step of the way.

That was really specific to my circumstances, though.

[Allgrownup3]

Thank you for your comments.
I also work for a big public sector organisation which someone will need to cover my role whilst I'm away. My SW has said tell them asap because of the meetings. But I have the option of working flexible hours.

I don't want everyone to know. My manager would probably tell his manager and then everyone will know. So I'm trying to hold back as long as possible.

[Rainatnight]

That's really unprofessional of your manager and his/her manager, though. Would they definitely spread it around?

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

What's your notice period if you decide to resign? They would have to be able to cover things if that happened. So if it is 3months or less, you would be able to give the same amount of warning if you informally notify as soon as a link looks like it will go ahead.

I do think you should look out for #1 here. If you can get away with not saying anything for the home study then you are under no obligation to tell them. Especially if you can't trust you manager to be discreet.

[2old2beamum]

?Fortunately for me DS was on the ward where I was working so everyone knew what was happening. I was in theatre when matching panel rang to give me the answer and a colleague was told tell 2old yes! Those were the days

[Allgrownup3]

I have to give 3 months notice to resign so if I went by those rules I would really need to tell them soon, because if I did get accepted at panel and get a quick match that would cut things fine. But, really I would like to wait for the approval panel before I tell my manager.

My Manager wouldn't tell everybody the details but he would tell them. Allgrownup3 probably won't be around soon. Then all of the intersecting questions would start being asked.

[Kr1stina]

I'd tell them as late as possible. Check your employee handbook for the rules.

As Saunders said, you might wait years to be matched and be passed over for promotion and given the crap jobs.

[Kr1stina]

And no one needs to give notice to resign. You need to WORK your notice, but that's different. Usually you can take outsanding leave as part of that or negotiate a shorter notice period.

Why would you resign anyway ? It's better to take your adoptIon /parental/ family leave and keep paying your pension, even if you intent to never go back.

[Rufus27]

I'm in a role which requires a replacement (secondary school teacher) so I kept my head and line manager informed from the end of stage one onwards. Told more people (colleagues) post approval, but made it clear it was likely to be a lengthy wait. Once a match seemed likely, I told the same two (in confidence) a possible timeline. Although they appreciated the heads up, nothing could be done until the match was ratified - which gave them five days' notice to find a replacement teacher! (I had a number of exam classes which added to my guilt). While I didn't have to be so open, the fact I was made the leave process easier (and gave my employers time to read up on the new Adoption laws!).

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

But, with the best will in the world, even if they approached you about a child on the day you are approved what is the minimum time it would take from then, a month maybe before matching panel? You would have to see child's social worker, meet medical person & foster carer, prepare paperwork for panel, wait for panel date. It won't happen in an instant (or very unlikely to).

Also you don't resign, you go on adoption leave. Terrible to contemplate, but some hitherto undisclosed info might come out during infos which makes you decide not to proceed, and you would need a job to go back to.

There is no legal obligation to say something before matching panel. I don't think you should feel any moral obligation to say anything before you have a link on the horizon, especially as you don't trust the manager. but of course it's up to you.

[DaddyYannis]

I told my manager in confidence a few weeks before panel, once I was fairly confident that we would get through it, and also started having informal discussions with HR at the same time. I told my team around about approval panel time. There is a lot of change going on in my department at the moment so it seemed fair to everyone so that they could plan for my not being here.

To be honest it was a weight off my mind telling people, and meant I was able to purchase additional leave for all my stage 2 appointments etc. I suppose I could have played the game a little better by not telling anyone (literally nobody is interested in what I'm doing at work as they are expecting me to disappear at a moment's notice) but for me it was the right thing to do as my relationship with my boss and team is built around a certain amount of trust and confidence.

[Alltheusernamesaretaken321]

Obviously you know your workplace better than anyone here but just to give another perspective around being over looked for jobs etc, I work in the public sector and my manager and her line manager is aware of our intention to apply to adopt (having time off for recurrent pregnancy losses over three years mean everyone is very aware of my intention to have a family...I've gone off sick with a bump suddenly a few times only to return a few weeks later with no bump and no baby so it doesn't take a geius to figure it all out!) and I've been asked to apply for other positions in the meantime (I've declined as that's not my focus at the moment) so it doesn't have to mean it impacts on your career progression and I know that my manager is aware of my 'out of work' situation and can support me if we're lucky enough to be accepted without having to be cloak and dagger about it and she can be aware of any external pressures and take that into account when allocating my caseload. Just food for thought.

[Alltheusernamesaretaken321]

Sorry, just seen your post about not wanting them to know yet so that's a bit different. Like Rain at night I really trust my manager and am happy for her to know. It's a really difficult one as obviously they need to plan for covering your work load but as someone else pointed out that could be ages away. (Or it could be very quick) I wonder if it comes down to unpicking what the specific reasons are not to tell work and then whether these can be addressed without giving away info you don't want them to know?

[Allgrownup3]

Thank you all for your advice. I am going to thoroughly check my works adoption rules and take it from there.

[howmanyusernames]

We're at early stages and our SW said to tell HR asap. I work for myself so no issue there, and my husband told his Line Manager (who would then update HR) as soon as he had a 'catch up' meeting arranged. They were really understanding and supportive, and he's asked for them to keep it confidential until we get approved - probably because he doesn't want the 'what's happening??' questions, and also just in case it doesn't happen (not that that will hopefully happen!).
If you can, I would speak to HR first, their job is to keep this information confidential, and means they can also get up to speed with their adoption leave rules to be able to update you when the time comes.

[Allgrownup3]

Thanks I have spoken to my new Manager and he will speak to HR for me. I have asked him to keep it quiet until I go to panel. Obviously our overall Manager will need to know,. But, that will be a couple of weeks before.