Well... it has been some time since I have been on any forums that didn't relate to my midwifery degree, but as my training is drawing to a close and I am about to re-enter the land of the gainfully employed again, my mind is once again turning to the idea of completing our family. It hasn't been as straightforward as we would have liked, as with so many of those of you on here...
My OH (46) and I (42) discovered 6 years ago that we both had fertility issues. Individually, they wouldn't have been too much of an issue, but put them together and it creates a recipe for heartache for someone who has always assumed children were in her future.
We looked into IVF, but because of my increased BMI, I was advised to lose some weight before doing any treatment. Needless to say, the suggestion resulted in my weight increasing through depression and stress...
Just before I started uni, we attended an information session put on by our local council to get an idea of what we would need to do to start the adoption process, only to be told that if I was going to be studying, they wouldn't recommend us starting until after I was done because of how time consuming the application process can be. I was really quite angry about it at the time, but given how stressful my degree was, I think it was the best decision.
So now we are trying to decide if it is something that we even want to get into. Don't get me wrong, the desire to be a mum is still incredibly strong in my heart, but there is also a voice in my head that whispers things to me that cause me to doubt myself.
'You are too old'
'You are too selfish'
'They won't give you younger children'
'You won't be able to handle it'
'OH surely wants a child with his own genes'
'It will be too hard'
Those are just a few!! I don't know what the purpose is here... I think I just want to send the thoughts out there into the world to find out if anyone has any helpful advice or a similar experience that I may be able to draw from.
Whatever way, if you got this far, thanks for reading!
K x
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8 replies
Trinity2500 · 09/07/2017 22:42
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