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Adopting after ivf

(9 Posts)
user1497036202 Fri 09-Jun-17 21:18:39

We are slowly coming to terms with the fact that ivf may not be for us after ivf and a miscarriage and then a failed FET

We have always considered adoption but are now at the crossroads of another cycle of ivf which we. Any afford or pushing forward with adoption.

I wondered if people had been in the same situation and how they decided.

I would say we are 75% pro adoption - I just feel like it would complete out little family and we could help a child but the other 25% just is unsure of letting go

C0RAL Fri 09-Jun-17 22:46:22

I'd do another cycle if you can afford it. You will have to wait for a while after finishing treatment before you can start adoption.

user1497036202 Fri 09-Jun-17 23:51:46

To be honest we don't think we. An afford my - we will be getting into a lot of debt. We are coming up to 6 months without treatment which is what our local authority asks for before starting the process so this is a crossroads for us. I am not getting any younger and we really want our little family

user1493292590 Sat 10-Jun-17 07:43:02

Hi, I have been there. I had many goes of IVF & got to the stage of thinking about adoption. We even had a social worker visit to discuss and she seemed very negative. This then made us think about one more go of IVF. so I changed clinic, spent an absoloute fortune and ended up with my son. We are now approved adopters and waiting getting on for 2 yrs and have been through 3 near matches with children, the last one proved to be the most distressing for us. If I was younger I think I would go back to IVF. Adoption is hard, and if you are still questioning IVF then if you can do maybe do it then you should. You may be questioning it forever if you don't. I know finances are a big part of it, I spent a fortune but unfortunately you can't take those feelings inside away so maybe if you in my experience go as far as you can with IVF otherwise it will always be there. You need to be really strong for adoption

user1497036202 Sat 10-Jun-17 09:47:44

Thank you - is good to hear from people who have been in the same situation. I am just scared Bout the ivf element and how much debt we will be in. I just don't know if I can do it to myself. We have a consultation with the NHS in July so I will hold off and see if they will treat us. If they will then maybe I will give it a shot but I must admit I do feel like adoption is calling us and really feel like we could make a difference x

UnderTheNameOfSanders Sat 10-Jun-17 13:46:37

Probably if you are young enough to do IVF your age shouldn't be much of an issue for adoption.

re the 6 months. it is not so much 6 months since treatment, I think it really needs to be 6 months since you definitely decided to no longer pursue IVF, so while you are still considering the IVF I wouldn't start the clock ticking.

We approached our LA 6 months after stopping and went to an intro evening, but decided not to proceed at that point. A year later we went to another LA. I was in so much a better place having had time to come to terms with everything.

IVF is emotionally and physically exhausting. Adoption is also emotionally very draining. You really do need time to recover between the two.

Best wishes whatever you decide.

user1497036202 Sat 10-Jun-17 14:53:36

Thanks - we have already been yo an LA open day - about a month ago. I guess it's more about - how do you know you are sure! I think I am ready but what if we are not?! X

Alltheusernamesaretaken321 Sat 10-Jun-17 14:59:12

Hi 👋🏻

I started a similar thread recently but about knowing you're ready to pursue adoption after recurrent pregnancy loss. I can bump it for you if that would help?

user1497036202 Sat 10-Jun-17 15:51:49

Thanks that would be great!

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